


Deception of the Elements

by HighWarlockIvy



Series: Works of the Elements [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe-Merlin, And it's pretty angsty, Hurt Magnus Bane, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Seriously it's not Merlin, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, So please be careful while reading, Young Magnus Bane, because I love you, but it's hella Merlin vibes, but not actually Merlin, mentions of depression, oh yeah did I mention malec, possible triggers, warning of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-10 22:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 71,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8942185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighWarlockIvy/pseuds/HighWarlockIvy
Summary: When Magnus accidentally kills his step-father with his faulty, young magic, his mother deems it best to send him to the kingdom of Idris, where the court physician, Ragnor Fell, can teach him to harness his abilities. Although it's hard when the law states that using magic is punishable by death. And it becomes even harder when he somehow manages to become the servant of Prince Alexander Lightwood himself.





	1. Not a Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I am excited to announce I am a first time AO3 writer. I've been writing on fanfiction.net but I lost passion there. 
> 
> This is something I've been working on, and I hope for quick updates, especially since I am off for Christmas break, but once school starts up again, I am BUSY! I am going to go ahead and say I am in an Independent A-Class Colorguard, and if anyone here knows what that is, or participates in such an activity, then we both know how time consuming it is.
> 
> Anyways, I am done babbling. Just wanted to share something about myself.

“Mother, I really don’t want to do this,” Magnus said from his cot, pulling his hands across his chest to hug himself. His mother was currently putting last minute things in his bag. Which wasn’t a lot.

She looked up from the bag she was currently packing, a soft, gentle smile on her beautiful, thin face. She had caramel skin like he did, and long, brown hair that always seemed to fixed, even if she didn’t try. She was beautiful. Her brown eyes looked sad. “I know you don’t, sayang, but you can’t stay here.”

“Mother, I know I can’t stay here, but what makes you think sending me there will do me any good?” His gold, green eyes looked at her desperately. He really, really didn’t want to go. He didn’t know anybody there, and even though everybody in their village hated him, at least he knew them. 

“Magnus, cintaku, I know you’re scared,” she stopped packing, going to take a seat next to him on his cot. Magnus looked away, because he didn’t want her to see his face like this. He didn’t want her to see the misery and pain he knew was clear in his features. She put her tan hand on his, and he couldn’t help but squeeze back, though he still didn’t make eye contact. “Ragnor will take care of you, he’s the court healer. He’s like you, and he’s been hiding it for years, Magnus. He will take care of you.”

Magnus finally looked at her, and he couldn’t stop the tears welling in his eyes. “But I don’t want anybody else to take care of me but you…” His voice was barely audible, and he knew he was failing at keeping us his façade, but he felt like his heart was breaking in half. His mother pulled him into her embrace, but he still didn’t let the tears flow. “What if I get caught? What if someone finds out, and they tell the king, and they kill me?”

“Shh, you’re going to be fine. I think being in the castle will be safer than here, my son. I know you’re scared, but there is no reason to be.” Her voice sounded just as compromised as his, and she was breaking too. 

“When will I ever get to see you, mother?”

“I’ll be fine, sayang,” she whispered, and Magnus pushed out of her embrace.

“You and I both know that’s not true, mother. I can’t leave you alone to deal with this.”

The situation of his step-father. Her husband. An evil man. He was one of the reasons his mother was forcing him to leave their village and go to the kingdom of Idris; to live in the castle itself with the court healer, someone Magnus didn’t even know; had never seen before. He was afraid, and not just for himself. His step-father had been very abusive before Magnus’ magic exploded and killed him; burned him where he stood. He hadn’t meant to, but his head was being held under the river water just outside the village and his magic just… sort of… came out on its own.

He’d run home to his mother, all he had left, only to be told days later that she was sending him away. He knew she wasn’t doing it out of hatred, or need for him out of her life. She was doing it out of love, because she did love him, and she couldn’t stand to see her son fall apart. But she had forgotten that he loved her too, and he couldn’t stand seeing her fall apart either. 

“Please,” he pleaded, and he didn’t even care that he was. “Please, mother, let me stay. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

He could tell she was trying to hold back tears, and it was working, but it was so obvious he felt like his heart was just shattering; was just falling apart, and nothing was going to stop it. She took a deep, shaky breath, and let it go. “Cintaku, it’s not me who is in danger if I stay.”

He knew she was right. His step-father was not the only one who bullied him. The people his age at the village picked all over him, and the adults just glared down on him like he was trash. And all because he was different. Because he wore his mother’s make up whenever she could actually afford it, because he dressed a bit more flamboyantly when he got the chance. Not that his clothes were as fabulous as, say, the Prince of Idris’, but they were as colorful as he could get them. He was different, and it was reasons like he was almost drowned and got picked on just about every day. 

“You know I am right,” his mother said it with a knowing, soft smile. It was gentle, but it had sadness behind it. Magnus couldn’t stand to see it; he couldn’t stand to look at it. “If you stay here, you will only get hurt.”

“But, it’s worth it, if I have you to comfort me. Who will I have if I go tomorrow? Ragnor? Some warlock I don’t even know?” His voice coming out as more desperate than before, but only because he wanted, he needed his mother to understand, that his breaking point was her. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if he didn’t get to see her every day. 

“Ragnor is a wonderful, ancient man. He knows how to teach you to harness your power. I don’t know anything about that, and no one in the village does either, not that they would help us if they did.” She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. She took her other hand and brushed it against his cheek, and he leaned into it. “I am going to be fine, sayang, I promise. If he were still alive, maybe I would be more reluctant to let you go.”

Magnus sighed, voice hushed. “So, you’re not reluctant to let me go now?”

His mother pulled him back into her arms, holding him so tight as if she were afraid he would disappear, which, technically, he was. He was leaving tomorrow morning, and there were no words he could say to convince her to let him say. “Of course, I am reluctant to let you, you’re my son, I love you,” she said shakily. He could feel her trembling. “I just can’t stand to see you get hurt when I know there is someone out there who can help you. Ragnor can help you. I have written a letter to him, and I have another for you to give to him tomorrow when you arrive.” She pulled him away again, looking into his eyes. “My son, please,” she brushed his cheek again. “Please, trust me. Allow me to give this to you.”

Magnus took a deep breath. “Can’t we just, I don’t know, go back to Indonesia?”

Her and Magnus laughed, because it was joke. If they were to go back to Indonesia, they’d be in poverty again. That was why they gathered all the money they could and moved to this village. At least here, there were more job opportunities; more ways for them to live. And, Magnus hated Indonesia. It was where his mother met his step-father. It was where it all started.

“Are you going to be okay, sayang?” His mother asked, her voice gentle. 

He nodded, and smiled, though it was very struggled, and obviously forced. “I will be,” he whispered. He hugged her, and she hugged back. “I promise, I’ll be okay, but only if you promise you will be okay too.”

She squeezed him tighter. “I promise.”

Magnus would have believed her, had her voice not sounded so unsure itself. But he didn’t say anything on it. He just wanted to enjoy this while he could; being in her arms, being held by her and loved by her. They stayed like that for a while, and soon, she had fallen asleep on top of him. He smiled, gently lying her down on his cot. He covered her up with his blanket, then went to go to her own room to sleep, but decided he wanted to be with her all night.

He went to her room, grabbed her own pillow and blanket, and brought it to his room by his bed, where his mother’s soft breathing gave him peace. He made himself a little bundle on the floor, and he fell asleep to her breathing.

…

Magnus looked at his mother as she made sure he was bundled up enough to walk to the kingdom in this cold weather. It would take hours to get there, and Magnus wasn’t going to risk using any magic to make it any easier and faster. She finished tying a rag around his neck as a scarf, and looked at him. There was something in her gaze, something that reflected pain and sadness, and Magnus wanted nothing more than to take it away. “Remember, sayang, I love you. I love you so much,” she began crying, and she pulled him into a hug. 

They were aware that the people walking by were looking at the exchange, as they were outside in front of the cottage, but neither of them cared. They needed this last moment together, because Magnus had no idea when he would see her again. He wrapped his hands around her waist, hugging back, squeezing. He felt tears welling, and he was reminded of how painful last night was, but he didn’t want to think about that. 

He pushed his tears back inside him, making sure to be strong for his mother. He needed to be strong for her, because like hell he’d ask the same from her. She let him go, and she cupped his cheeks with her cold hands. There were tears streaming down her face. He brushed them away. She smiled, and he mirrored her, and they were suddenly in each other’s embraces again. 

Magnus suddenly became concerned. She was acting as if she would never see him again, but… this wasn’t a permanent goodbye, was it? It couldn’t be. No, no, they were going to see each other again, he was just being paranoid. He was emotionally compromised. That’s all. 

His mother squeezed him so hard, that he couldn’t breathe, and he was going to allow her to continue to hold him, because he wasn’t going to deny her that now, but he was physically hurting her, and he tried to push away. “Mother, you’re hurting me.”

She gasped, letting him go. “I am sorry, cintaku, I’m sorry.”

“Mother, you’re scaring me,” he said, voice trembling, because something wasn’t right. “We’re going to see each other again, aren’t we?” His mother hesitated, but nodded, and Magnus knew she was lying. “Mother, what’s going on?”

She continued to cup his face, and Magnus saw fear. Not sadness for losing a son for a while, but fear. He wished he knew why. “I am sorry, love. I am just… I am very upset to lose you.”

He shook his head, because he wanted to her to understand, or rather maybe confirm, that they were going to see each other again. Him going to Idris, it wasn’t permanent. It was just long enough for this Ragnor warlock to teach him what he needed to know; how to harness his power. “You’re not losing me, ibu.”

She gasped, because he hadn’t spoken Indonesian in years. Ibu, mother. She always loved it when he spoke their native language, but since his step-father entered his life, he’d lost interest in it. Not just necessarily the language, but everything. He didn’t talk much at all, really. If he did, it was always something stupid said at the wrong time, and he would be beaten for it. 

She forced a smile on her face, tears still there, and pulled him into a hug one more time, before letting go, bending down and picking up his bag. She gave it to him, and he hung it on his back. “Go, sayang. Go, and learn everything you need. Go live a normal life.”

She didn’t look at him as she went back inside, leaving him there, completely dumbfounded. He was almost tempted to go back inside and ask what the hell was going on, but he was so confused, he just made his way to the exit of the village, and to the castle.

…

He walked along the remaining wooded area before he would finally see the castle looming over the hill. It was cold enough that every time he inhaled and exhaled, he would see his breath wash out of his lips like smoke. He shivered, pulling his scarf up to cover his mouth. He hugged himself, rubbing at his arms in hopes to bring some warmth. He didn’t really get any. 

He pushed his bag onto his shoulder again; it had been sliding off his shoulder repeatedly. It wasn’t until he felt it fall off that he would notice, it was so cold. He couldn’t really feel his body. His hands were extremely numb, and his fingers weren’t really moving at his command. He was worried about hypothermia, and decided the one thing he could do was bring warmth to his hands with his own flame. 

He was nervous, but he managed to conjure a faulty, blue flame at his fingertips, and let it sit there for a while until he could feel his hands again. He stopped walking, taking in the warmth as much as he could before he had to continue forward. Just over that hill a few meters ahead, was the castle of Idris. A new life waiting for him that he didn’t want to live. He just wanted to be with his mother. He wanted to be home, with her, away from here. 

He leaned against a tree behind him, breathing, thinking. What would happen when made it over that hill, and started for Idris? What was his mother doing? Was she okay? He wanted to laugh at himself, because of course she wasn’t. She lost her son, she walked away from him after she’d hugged him so hard that he physically couldn’t breathe. 

He thought about the way she had acted before he departed for the castle. He thought about that horrified look on her face that he had wanted to mirror, but just couldn’t because he was too confused. Why had she acted as though they would never see each other again? Was she actually sending him away for good, or for bad? He just wanted to know why she looked like that. 

She looked like she was giving something up forever, losing something that she would never get to see again, and all Magnus did was stand there, dumbfounded like some idiot. He wanted to turn back, he wanted to go home. He wanted to see her, he needed to see her. But he knew, that if he were to go back, all he would be met with was despair. He knew she was right when she said all that he would gain from staying there was hurt. But he was used to hurt, he was used to pain. 

His step-father made sure he would forever be used to that. 

He was suddenly brought back to that night, that awful, horrid night where he was dragged by his collar to the river outside the village. He remembered being kicked down to the floor, and he remembered a swift, painful kick to his ribs before his step-father roughly picked him up, and tossed him into the water. 

He’d tried to come back up, and for a split second he did, but he remembered calloused hands gripping his shoulders, pushing him back under. He had fought those hands so hard, but he was losing air, and he couldn’t breathe, and suddenly, he’d seen a blue glow, and then…

Screaming…

There had been a shrill, loud scream, and he came back up gasping for breath, retching water out of his lungs. He looked up to see his step-father engulfed in blue flames, his flames, and from there on out, Magnus knew he was monster.

He’d always known he had magic, everybody did. The village didn’t really like to talk about it, but he and his mother had discussed it a lot. She liked to see it. She liked to watch the blue flame at his fingertips light up the room. But his step-father hated it, making allegations of being a demon spawn. 

He was still human, he just had special abilities. He always wondered if maybe his step-father hated it because he couldn’t do it. But he had given up wondering that the first time he laid a hand on him. And he definitely began hating him the moment he laid a hand on his mother. 

He took a deep breath, deciding that if he were to stand here any longer, he’d freeze to death. He took another breath, jerking his shoulder up to keep the bag’s strap on him, and advanced towards the hill. 

A few moments later, he’d done it. And what he saw was beautiful. 

A castle, and a big one at that, loomed over a tall stoned wall meant to protect the town homes outside the castle. It was a light stone, almost white, but not quite that bright. He smiled the moment he saw it. Although he hated to leave his mother, and his little cottage, he could get used to living in that castle. He knew he wasn’t going to get any royal room with a great, big bed, but he knew it would be better than what he had now. 

One half of his heart was telling him not to go; not to get attached to this place. But the other half told him to enjoy it while he could; to enjoy being in a place that he could get help, get training, and get better. It was exciting, whether or not he would admit that out loud. He always wanted to improve on his magic, but there was never anyone to teach him, and there was never any safe place to practice. 

He nodded to himself, taking his first step down the hill, towards the castle, into his new life, leaving his other behind.

…

Magnus walked along the stone ground of the courtyard, pushing past a crowd of people to try to find somebody who would direct him to the court physician. But just as he was almost outside the crowd, he heard a voice calling upon the people around him. It was deep, and baritone. He looked up to see a man standing on a balcony, knights around him. He was tall, and bald, with dark eyes. He was wearing royal clothing. Magnus knew this man was the king.

“Today, we bring about the execution of a man made guilty by magic,” his voice boomed about the courtyard. Magnus tightened his hand on his strap, and looked over to see a man, a poor looking man with nothing but rags on, being held to stand below the noose waiting to take his life. Magnus’ breath hitched. The king began speaking again. “You have been found using elements of sorcery, and magic. In the land of Idris, in this kingdom, we all know good and well that magic is banned, and by refusing to obey the law, the only fit sentence, is death.”

Magnus felt his brow creasing in anger, but he couldn’t help but fear the inevitable. He suddenly pictured himself in that man’s place. 

“Do you have any last words, sorcerer?”

His young features looked up from where they were bowed, eyes going to the sky. He whispered something to himself, but Magnus didn’t hear it. The man looked at the king then, a void expression on his face. “May everyone you murder find peace,” and with that, looked forward at nothing. 

People were whispering and mumbling to each other, but all Magnus could look at was that expression of nothing on the man’s face. Magnus looked up at the king to see his hand raised, indicating that the moment his hand went down, the man would be hanged. When Magnus looked back to the man, the noose was already around his neck. He didn’t watch the king’s hand go down, and looked away as floor opened, and the man was hanged. 

People gasped around him, but all Magnus could do was stand there in horror. He could as easily be in that same predicament as that man is.

Was, he thought.

Magnus decided then and there, that he hated the king.

…  
After Magnus had shaken the thoughts of the murder of that man out of his head, he’d finally managed to ask one of the knights standing guard at one of the more lowkey entrances of the castle, where he could find the court physician. He now walked the halls of the castle, watching servants and knights walk by. 

He saw a sign pointing up a set of stairs that read “Court Physician”, and made his way up them. He was suddenly extremely nervous. What if Ragnor didn’t like him? What if Ragnor actually didn’t care about whether or not Magnus learned to control his magic? 

No, Magnus thought, shaking his head. If there was ever a time he needed to be confident, it was now. 

He saw a door that was cracked slightly, light coming out of it, and he gently pushed it with a creak until it was fully open, looking inside. It was a small room, but big enough to be satisfactory for Magnus. Though, that was biased, because he could live inside of a log and be satisfied. There were bookshelves lining the walls, overloaded with all kinds of stories and information. The tables around the room held many potions, and some of them currently being made. There was a small dining table as you enter the room, and Magnus decided it would be okay to set his bag on top of it. There was another room on the far wall, and Magnus wondered if it was his.

“Hello?” Magnus called, but didn’t get a reply. He swallowed. “Um, Ragnor?”

Still nothing.

“My mother sent me,” he tried again, and considered the fact that he could very well be talking to thin air. “I am Viessa’s son, Magnus.”

Suddenly, a hand came up to wrap around his throat behind him, but his magic reacted faster. He whipped around, hand outstretched in front of him, glowing blue. The man trying to freaking choke him was shot against the wall, restrained. He was older, but not elderly. He was wearing a green robe. He had brown hair, and green eyes with a long face. He was smiling, and Magnus frowned. “Good,” the man said, and he had an English accent. “Very good.”

“What?” Magnus hissed. He was really getting tired of bullshit. 

“You’re magic reacts quickly. That’s an advantage.” His own hands glowed then, and his flames were green. Magnus was pushed back then, and he fell to the floor on his back. He was winded for a second, but then the man’s hand was offered to him to help him up. 

Magnus took it. Then realized. “Ragnor?”

Ragnor smiled knowingly as he helped Magnus to his feet. “Ragnor Fell, it is. You are Magnus.” Magnus didn’t really have a voice right now, so he just nodded. “Viessa sent you,” he said, and Magnus nodded again. “Very good.” He was still smiling.

“I am sorry,” Magnus choked out. “Why is that good?” He was reminded of why he was here in the first place.

Ragnor put a hand on Magnus’ shoulder, and Magnus looked at it, confused. “You’re here to learn, are you not?”

“Yes.”

Ragnor’s smile widened. “That’s why it is good,” he pat Magnus’ shoulder, and walked to work on some of his potions. “The room in the back is yours, make yourself comfortable. It seems you will be here for a while.”

Magnus hesitated, blinking, but soon got his bearings and went to get his bag off the table, heading to what he suspected was his room. 

He remembered about the letter his mother gave him to give to Ragnor, and he pulled it out of a pocket on the side of the bag. He walked to Ragnor, holding it out. Ragnor looked at Magnus, confused. “Um, sorry,” Magnus mumbled. “My mother told me to give this to you.”

Ragnor nodded, smiling again, and took the letter in his hand. “Thank you,” he said. “Now, go unpack and we can talk after.”

Magnus nodded, heading to his room.

…

It was a small room, but bigger than the one he had at home. There was a cot on the far wall, a chest at the end of it to keep some of his belongings in, which wasn’t much at all. He threw his bag on the cot, looking around some more. There was an armoire near the door, and a small table and one chair by the window on the wall to the left. It wasn’t the best room in the world, but oh, dear God, it was so much better than what he had at home. 

He felt so grateful, but then remembered how he had acted towards his mother before he left. Like some sniveling puppy dog wanting to stay with its mama. He felt so selfish. His mother was still there, probably shivering from the cold and crying, all alone in that tiny cottage. He would bet money on her wishing she could be here, and he had wanted to stay there. 

He was such a prat. 

He took a deep breath, going over to his cot, slamming down onto it. He looked up at the ceiling, wishing more than anything he could see his mother, but only so he could apologize. He had no idea when he would get that chance again.

He shook the thoughts of his mother’s strange behavior away, then decided to unpack his bag.

…

Unpacking his bag didn’t take any time at all, for there were only four shirts inside of it, and three pairs of pants. He had always wished he could have one more pair, so that the number of shirts he had would be even with his pants, but he never asked. He didn’t have the desire to. What he had was enough.

He sighed, deciding it was probably time to go talk with Ragnor. He held the handle of the wooden door separating his room from the main room. He couldn’t seem to open it. This all felt so real. Which, it was, but that didn’t make this any easier. He felt like he was about to open a door to something new. 

Ragnor seemed nice. He was always smiling, and Magnus didn’t get to see that very often. Especially in his village. All he ever saw were ugly scowls directed at him. 

He took a deep breath, opening the door. Ragnor was sitting at the table by the front door, reading the letter he had given him from his mother. He wondered what it said, but he wasn’t going to ask. Ragnor had his reading glasses on, and his brow was furrowed, eyes narrowed, as if confused. His lips were moving quickly, mouthing the words written on the page. 

Magnus didn’t like it. Something was wrong.

He cleared his throat. 

Ragnor, upon hearing Magnus, smiled, folding the letter back and setting it on the table. He slipped his glasses off graciously, putting them next to the letter. “Ah,” he chirped happily. “Magnus, please, come pull a chair over and sit. We have much to discuss.”

Magnus looked around for a chair, then sat it next to Ragnor after finding it. He and Ragnor just looked at each other for a second, and Magnus saw something related to wisdom in the older man’s eyes. It was like he was observing, or reading, Magnus. “What?” Magnus asked.

Ragnor blinked, shaking his head. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just very…” He gestured his hands, as if trying to find the words in the air.

Magnus’ forehead creased. “I’m what?”

Ragnor smiled gently, leaning forward in his chair, resting his elbows on the table, his head balancing on his hands. “Young,” he said hushed.

Magnus blinked. “I am seventeen, sir.”

Ragnor leaned back in his chair again, waving his hand dismissively. “Please, don’t bother with formalities. Just call me Ragnor, I’ll call you Magnus, and that’s how it’s going to be,” he was still smiling.

Magnus smiled back. “Okay,” he nodded. “What does it matter if I am young?”

Ragnor looked at Magnus knowingly. “How old were you when your powers truly manifested?”

Magnus thought back. He remembered his mother was there, but he didn’t remember how it happened. “I believe I was six, maybe seven.”

“Precisely my point,” Ragnor said.

“I don’t understand,” Magnus uttered, shaking his head. “Is that not normal?”

Ragnor tilted his head. “Do you think it normal?”

“What does that matter?”

Ragnor looked away, chuckling, then brought his gaze back to Magnus. “When did your step-father try to kill you?”

Magnus’ breath hitched. He didn’t want to talk about it, he hated to talk about. Every time he spoke of it, he was right back there, in the river, water rushing in his lungs. Magnus closed his eyes, shaking the thoughts away. “It was last year,” he tried to keep his voice from trembling, but failed.

Ragnor’s smile fell ever so slightly, and he straightened his head. “I am sorry,” he said, and he sounded genuine. “What happened after he threw you in the water?”

Magnus blinked again, shaking his head. “I don’t understand, my mother has already told you all of this, am I correct?”

Ragnor nodded once. “Yes.”

“Then why-“

Ragnor leaned forward again, hands on the table. “Because I need to hear you say it.”

“Why?” Magnus whispered.

Ragnor sighed, looking down. He looked as if to be thinking about what he wanted to say. He looked back up. “Because you will not begin to accept it, until you say it yourself.”

Magnus was quick to respond. “I don’t want to accept it, so why would I say it?”

Ragnor’s smile fell completely this time, a look of pity replacing it. “Why do you wish not to accept it?” Ragnor was interfering in deep waters, and he knew was, but he wasn’t going to stop. 

Magnus’ voice continued to tremble. “When you’re a child, you don’t just accept the monsters under your bed and sleep, do you?” Ragnor shook his head, but didn’t say anything. Magnus knew it was his way of telling him to go on. “You tremble in your bed, and you wish to look under, but you’re too afraid to, so you call for your mother to look for you, do you not?”

“You’re not a monster, Magnus.” Ragnor’s voice was like velvet; so soft that he could have sworn it was from someone else. 

“And when you’re a child, you don’t accept that those monsters don’t exist either.” He was barely audible, and he knew he sounded pathetic, but he found he didn’t care. “Therefore, I will not accept it.”

“You won’t ever learn until you do,” Ragnor said.

“What is it I am supposed to learn, other than how to control this element inside me?”

Ragnor looked at him knowingly again, and Magnus was starting to hate it. He wasn’t some child who didn’t understand anything. “Magnus, it is not just your magic you must accept, it is yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” Magnus snapped.

“What happened after your step-father threw you in the water?”

Magnus stood up from his chair abruptly. “I burned him where he stood,” his voice was shrill, and his chest was heaving. His eyes widened, as if he realized what he just said, and Ragnor looked up at him victoriously. Magnus blinked, shaking his head. He calmed his breathing, taking a seat once again. He swallowed, licking his lips.“My apologies,” he whispered.

Ragnor leaned forward, grabbing Magnus’ hand, and Magnus was surprised at himself when he didn’t pull away. “Do not ever apologize for who you are, Magnus.” He was smiling again. “You’re going to be fine, my friend. Everything will be okay.” Magnus looked at him incredulously, and Ragnor just continued to smile. “I will help you, but only if you accept it.”

Magnus took a deep breath, thinking on it. He could go home, ignore whatever it was Ragnor was trying to tell him. He could see his mother again, and refuse to acknowledge that he had magic. He could be home, in his tiny cottage, with his mother. Or, he could stay here, and get the help that he needed, that he desperately wanted. He could allow Ragnor to teach him what he needed to be taught. 

He took a deep breath, nodding his head.

He would stay.


	2. It All Starts With a Look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy chapter 2, so many enjoyed chapter one. That means so much to me. Chapter three should be up tomorrow. 
> 
> Oh do I have plans for this story! :D

Magnus’ eyes fluttered open after a night’s sleep, though sleep was not really much of what he got. Tossing and turning, and sweat drenched clothes on the other hand, that is what transpired throughout the night. It was just something he’d come to know as normal, as routine. He sighed, pushing the covers off him, swinging his legs over the edge of the cot, setting them on the floor. He rested his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. 

He heard a knock at his door, and he looked up as it opened, Ragnor poking his head inside. He was smiling. “Oh, good, you’re up. Get dressed and come get breakfast.” With that, he left the room. Magnus sighed again, taking the position he had just moments ago. He had a headache. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He took one more deep breath before getting dressed and heading outside into the main room. 

Ragnor was cooking something, but it wasn’t anything recognizable to Magnus. Not that it mattered to him much anyways, the food at home was usually stale bread. Magnus hadn’t even thought about having fresh food. He just thought about how he would have a nice place to stay. He truly was grateful, even if his heart still felt like it was missing something without his mother. 

“You want a plate?” Ragnor asked, and Magnus nodded, taking a seat at the wooden table. Ragnor brought it to him, handing him a spoon. It was soupy. He took a bite, and he knew his eyes had widened in shock, because it was so good. Ragnor chuckled. “Do you like it?”

Magnus all but nodded, digging in for more. He didn’t realize how hungry he was. In fact, he didn’t remember the last time he put even an ounce of food in his mouth. Ragnor chuckled again, grabbing his own plate and taking a seat next to Magnus. “How did you sleep?” He asked through a mouthful of food.

Magnus swallowed, shrugging. “Okay, I guess.”

Ragnor smiled gently. “I know you didn’t have a very well night’s rest.” Magnus looked away. “I heard you,” Ragnor’s voice took on a gentler, more sympathetic tone. “I can give you something to help with that.”

Magnus looked back at his plate, avoiding eye contact with Ragnor. “With what? I am fine,” he said, though his voice sounded very unsure itself.

Ragnor looked at him as if to say ‘I know you’re lying’, but Magnus wasn’t even turning his head in his general direction. “Magnus,” he tried. Magnus still didn’t look. “Magnus, look at me.” Magnus, shakily but surely, turned his head towards Ragnor, eyes slowly gliding their way to look at him. “Would you like a sleeping draft?”

Magnus’ breath hitched. He didn’t know. He shrugged.

Ragnor decided it would probably be best to leave it at that, and changed the topic. “So,” he said, and Magnus blinked. “What does your mother say about your gift?”

Magnus inhaled slowly. He didn’t really want to talk about his mother, he wanted to see her. But he figured there would be no other way to stay in touch with the memory of her for a while so he answered. “She says I am special,” he said, taking another bite of the soup.

Ragnor smiled. “She is not wrong,” he chirped.

Magnus scoffed. “Yeah, murderers are real special.” He said it bitterly, and he looked at Ragnor guiltily when Ragnor’s smile fell. He closed his eyes, looking down. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Haven’t I already told you not to do that?” Ragnor asked, sounding playfully scolding.

Magnus furrowed his brow. “Do what?”

“Apologize for who you are,” Ragnor said. 

It was silent for a second, and Magnus looked away again. “It’s hard not to apologize when you feel you’ve done wrong.”

Ragnor narrowed his eyes, thinking about his next words carefully. “And what do you feel like you’ve done wrong?”

Magnus’ gaze was suddenly something Ragnor really didn’t like. It was empty, void of anything. “I’ve killed,” Magnus whispered.

Ragnor put his spoon down, leaning forward in his chair, suddenly desperate to make Magnus understand. “Because you would have died, had you not defended yourself.”

Magnus looked up slowly, empty gaze locking with Ragnor’s. “What’s your point?”

“Do you truly believe your life so worthless?”

Magnus blinked at Ragnor, gaze gaining some light back into it. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He looked back down. “I do not know,” he choked out. It was silent for a great while, but Magnus took a sharp breath, looking back up, expression guarded. “So, other than training my magic with you, what else will I be doing with my time here?”

Ragnor was thrown off guard by Magnus’ quick change in behavior, but shook it away. “You will be doing some favors for me, such as delivering potions, helping me make them, getting me ingredients. Nothing too tiring,” he chuckled.

Magnus smiled half a smile. “Well, it’s the least I can do for someone so willing to help me.”

Ragnor smiled from ear to ear, because those words truly made him happy. 

“Are you done?” Ragnor asked, taking Magnus’ empty plate to the bin to wash. “Speaking of favors, your first one is right now.” Magnus stood up as Ragnor went to the cupboard on the other end of the room. It was full of potions. He grabbed one that was of bluish color, and handed it to Magnus. “This is for the Lady Isabelle.”

Magnus’ head shot up at those words. “Lady Isabelle- the Princess Isabelle?”

Ragnor laughed at Magnus’ stuttering. “Yes,” he nodded, walking back to the bin to clean the dishes they had just eaten out of. Magnus looked at Ragnor incredulously. “Princess Isabelle suffers nightmares.” 

Magnus could see the parallels happening here, could see the point that Ragnor was trying to make, but he wasn’t really concentrating on that. He was more shocked by Ragnor’s casual talk about the royal family. “How can you speak of her as if you see her every other day?”

Ragnor turned from the dishes, smirking at Magnus. “Because I do,” he said.

“What?” Magnus exclaimed, eyes wide.

Ragnor laughed softly. “I am the court physician, Magnus. I speak to the king himself every day.”

Magnus didn’t say anything, but continued to look at Ragnor like he’d grown four heads. 

“Magnus?” Ragnor asked, smiling mischievously. 

Magnus blinked, shaking his head. “Right, sorry. Yes, I’ll take this to her right away,” and he rushed out the room, but not without hearing Ragnor’s amused laughing echoing throughout the room. 

…

Although Magnus told Ragnor he would gladly take the potion to Princess Isabelle, he had realized he actually had no idea where he was going. He was literally just wandering the castle corridors in hopes of finding her, but it wasn’t like there was going to be a big sign above her door reading “LADY ISABELLE’S ROOM”. He decided it best to just ask someone.

“Um,” he mumbled to a passing serving girl. She was pale, and very petite. She had fiery red hair that almost made Magnus want to shield his eyes. But she was beautiful none the less. She stopped walking, smiling at him as he spoke. “I am sorry to bother you, am I interrupting?”

“Oh, no, not at all,” she smiled wider. Her voice was soft. Magnus decided he quiet liked her. “What do you need?”

He held out the potion, showing her. “Ragnor asked me to deliver this to the Lady Isabelle, but I find I have no idea where I am going."

The girl tilted her head, furrowing her brows that were just as red as her hair. “Since when did Ragnor get his own serving boy?”

Magnus shook his head. “Wait, no, I am not his servant. I am new here. I am just here to help him around when he needs it.” Of course, he wasn’t going to mention that whole magic bit. “My name is Magnus.” 

The girl smiled teasingly. “I am just messing around. My name is Clary, and I am Lady Isabelle’s servant.” She held out her hand in greeting, and Magnus took it with a smile. They shook hands, and let go. “Let me show you to her chambers,” she gestured her head, indicating for Magnus to follow.

Magnus followed her down a few hallways, multiple twists and turns, but finally they made it to the Lady Isabelle’s room. She didn’t even knock, though he supposed she didn’t have to, considering she was one of the few who had access to her room. “My lady,” Clary called out, looking around.

Magnus was almost one hundred percent positive that this bedroom was the biggest bedroom he’d ever seen. There was an actual wall separating the bedroom from the entryway. There was a long table in the middle of the room holding all kinds of food, and Magnus wondered how long it sat here, and if it got wasted. He felt a little bitter at the thought, but dismissed it quickly. If Isabelle was as nice as Clary, then hopefully Magnus would come to like her.

A woman, and a beautiful one at that, emerged from the purple changing screen. It looked metallic. She had light, colored skin with long black hair styled in big curls. Her facial features were absolutely gorgeous with full lips and large, brown eyes. She was smiling, and he smiled back. Her make up made him extremely jealous. Her dress was long, and red, matching her lipstick. She walked closer to him. “Who is this?” She asked, not unkindly.

“Lady Isabelle, this is Magnus,” she looked at Magnus. “Magnus, this is Lady Isabelle.”

Isabelle offered her hand like Clary had done earlier, and Magnus decided he liked her too. He shook her hand. “Ragnor asked me to deliver this to you,” he held out the potion, and she took it, smiling.

“Thank you,” she said, going to put on her dressing table. He looked at all the makeup she had sitting out, and wondered if there was more inside the drawers. She must have picked up on his interest in it. “Do you like makeup?”

Magnus felt his heart quicken. If he were to say yes, would they then treat him like he’d been treated back at his village? He shook his head frantically. “No, I am sorry. I just-“

Isabelle laughed sweetly. “I am not judging, I think it’s interesting. A man, wearing makeup.” She looked at Clary, and they exchanged amused glances. Magnus wondered if they were internally making fun of him. “Would you like some?” She asked.

He began shaking his head again, looking down. He brought his arms across his torso, clasping his hands together. He suddenly felt very small. “Oh, no, really, I couldn’t.”

Isabelle looked at him for a second, as if she just discovered something new; as if she knew something he didn't. She shrugged. “Okay, suit yourself,” she hummed. “So,” she started. “Why did Ragnor choose to get a servant?”

Magnus was tempted to roll his eyes, but deemed that disrespectful against the princess. “I am not a servant,” he said. “He’s my mentor. I came for help, on…” he thought about his next words. “Education.”

“Education?” Clary asked.

Magnus felt like he was being interrogated.

“Yes, to learn things. The village I lived in before with my mother didn’t have a school house or anyone to teach me anything.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t necessarily true either.

He realized what he said sounded pathetic. He’s basically just admitted to coming from a poor family, though that should be obvious considering what he was wearing, but it was the most colorful thing he had. It was black pants and purple tunic. Not only that, he’d given them the idea that he was stupid. Which he wasn’t.

“Oh,” Isabelle said. “Well, Ragnor is very loyal, and very smart. He could teach you anything.”

Literally, Magnus thought. Magnus wanted to laugh at the ‘loyal’ bit. How would they react if they knew he was a warlock?

“I will leave you to it, my lady,” he said, then bowed. He turned on his heel to exit the room, but she spoke again.

“Magnus,” she said, and Magnus turned around. “Please, come back when you can.” Her voice was so gentle, and so kind, that Magnus smiled, bowing again and exiting the room.

Magnus took a breath as he tried to find his way back to his and Ragnor’s chambers. He tried to think about the route Clary had taken him through, but there were just too many hallways and turns that he had no idea where he was going.

He walked, frustrated, wondering how anyone got anywhere in this damn maze of a castle. 

He suddenly felt guilty for complaining again. He was reminded of his little cottage that was smaller than Isabelle’s room itself, and was reminded of his mother. He wanted nothing more than to see her. He needed to feel her embrace again.

His mother’s peculiar behavior flashed back in his mind. She was terrified. She looked utterly terrified. But what for, he didn’t know. Surely it couldn’t all just be Magnus himself. Magnus was here, at the kingdom, totally safe. Well, not totally safe, there was still the possibility of him being discovered. But she had looked scared for herself. Which he’d never seen before. 

His mother’s first instinct was always to make sure he was okay first. When his step-father would beat him, the first one to come to him was her. When she was beaten, her first concern was always if Magnus was next. He just wanted more than anything, for once in his life, to be able to be there for her, and tell her it would be okay. 

His thoughts became jumbled when he turned a corner and a tall, muscular figure rammed into him, knocking them both to the ground. The people around them looked confused, but no one offered to help them up. Magnus quickly pushed himself off the ground to offer his hand to help whoever the other was up, but he was blinded for a second. 

The one he knocked down was already standing, and absolutely gorgeous. It was a male. Strong, Magnus suspected, by the way his clothes hugged the man’s biceps. He was tall, way taller than Magnus, with messy, black hair and shining, hazel eyes. 

He was the most beautiful thing Magnus had ever seen. 

“I am sorry, sir, I am so sorry.” Magnus ranted, brushing off the man’s clothes, and yes, he was definitely muscular. 

“Really,” he said, and Magnus melted at the voice. “It’s alright, it was an accident.”

“Still, I am very sorry.”

“It’s not all your fault, I wasn’t paying attention either,” he waved his hand dismissively.

“I am Magnus,” Magnus said, voice taking a higher, happier note. “And you are?” He knew he was flirting, but damn, how could he not?

The man looked at him incredulously, and he furrowed his dark, and very even, eyebrows. “What?” He asked, shocked.

“I was asking for your name,” Magnus said, smiling.

“You don’t know who I am?” He looked at Magnus like he’d sprouted wings.

Magnus tilted his head, smiling wider. “Should I?” All the man did was nod. “Well, you have my sincerest apologies for not knowing. I am new here, I moved here last night. I am Ragnor Fell’s aid.”

The man made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, and Magnus found it adorable. “Well, that would explain it.” He outstretched his hand, and Magnus gladly took it, shaking it. “I am prince Alec,” he said.

Magnus’ smile fell, and he stopped shaking. He was the one looking at Alec like he was insane now. “Are you jesting with me?”

Alec chuckled, shaking his head. “No, I am the prince.”

Magnus let his hand go, because he was almost positive that his hand was sweating now. He was pretty sure his whole body was sweating. “Oh, my god, you really do have my sincerest apologies then.” He guess he should have known, considering Alec had on very royal clothing.

He waved his hand again, as if it was no big deal. “Really, it’s not an issue. Consider it forgotten.”

Magnus bowed. “I am honored with your forgiveness, my lord.”

Alec looked uncomfortable with the formality, but didn’t say anything on it. “Anyhow,” Alec said, clearing his throat. “I have to meet with my father, so…”

Magnus’ eyes widened. “Right,” Magnus exclaimed, stepping aside so that the prince could leave. “It was a pleasure to have your acquaintance, sire.”

Alec smiled, and Magnus found it the brightest, and most blinding smile he'd ever seen. But was reminded that this was the prince, and shook the thought away. “Likewise,” Alec said, nodding at him before walking down the corridor.

Magnus exhaled shakily, leaning against the stone wall. “Dear god,” he mumbled to himself. He took a few more trembling breaths, straightening his shirt before shaking his head and walking back to Ragnor’s quarters.

He began walking before he realized that he still had no idea where he was going.

…

Magnus was so lost. He didn’t even recognize these hallways, and he finally deemed it time to ask someone. He was just about to ask a passing knight, when he heard hushed whispering down one corridor. He leaned against the wall, listening. He knew he probably shouldn’t, but there was something compelling about the situation.

“Have you gotten it yet?” One hushed voice, a male’s, whispered. Magnus leaned his head ever so slightly forward, so he could get a look at who he was dealing with here. It was an elderly woman and a younger man, maybe the age of Ragnor.

“Of course, I have.” The woman’s voice spoke. She pulled a blade out of her tunic. It was long, and shined perfectly, but there was something off about it. Magnus used magic, eyes glowing yellow, as he ‘zoomed in’ on the dagger. There were carvings on it, a language he didn’t recognize. The women was smirking, and her eyes wrinkled more at the corners as she did. “Oh, how Robert Lightwood will live to regret every abominable thing he has ever done to our people.” Magnus suspected them to be sorcerers, considering she said ‘our’. “He will regret killing my son.”

Magnus felt for her, he really did. But if they were plotting against the king, then surely Magnus was doing good by listening in. He knew there was good magic, but there was also those who used it for evil. It wasn’t like he was selling out his own kind. 

“I am truly sorry, for you son. May he rest in peace.” The man’s voice was sad, full of sympathy. He bowed his head. “To think he was hanged just yesterday…” Magnus thought this to be related to the execution of the man from when he arrived here. 

“He will find peace,” Magnus could hear the smile in her voice, and could see it clear on her old features. “He will know what it is like to lose a son. Tonight, at the feast, will he know the pain and misery that comes along with losing a child.”

The feast, yes. Ragnor had told him last night to be ready for a feast that would be held tonight in celebration for fifty years without magic. Magnus hadn’t wanted to go, but Ragnor told him he would accompany him whether or not he liked it.

But then the mother’s words echoed in Magnus’ ears, and Magnus realized, gasping. They were going to kill the prince. Alec… They were going to kill Alec.

Magnus took off running. He had to do something.

…

Having given up on asking someone for directions to his own chambers, he settled for using magic to trace where it was he had come from before heading to lady Isabelle’s. No one noticed, of course. It wasn’t an emphasized spell. It was something only he could see. It was like a map in his head. 

He ran, and he ran fast. He burst through the doors of his and Ragnor’s quarters, and Ragnor jumped, dropping a vial of… something. It broke on the floor, the liquid spreading in rivulets. Ragnor looked at Magnus annoyed, putting a hand on his chest, indicating Magnus had truly scared him. Ragnor took a deep breath. “Dear lord, Magnus, you startled me.”

Magnus was just looking at Ragnor, eyes wide. What was he supposed to say? “Ragnor…” Nothing else came out of his mouth. His chest was heaving.

Ragnor suddenly looked very concerned. He stepped away from his work station, taking a step towards Magnus. “Magnus?” Ragnor asked, looking at Magnus like he was a rabbit caught in a trap. “Magnus, what has happened?”

Magnus wondered if maybe Ragnor thought they’d been discovered, because he saw that flash of fear flicker in Ragnor’s eyes. The same fear that he saw in his mother, the same fear he felt every second, of every day. Even though Ragnor might be smiling more than half the time, Magnus knew he was still afraid of the possibility that the king could discover him, and kill him.

“The prince,” Magnus gasped out. “Ragnor, I don’t know who else to tell.”

Ragnor took another step towards Magnus. “Magnus, you can tell me anything, let us make that clear right now.” He continued to advance on to Magnus until he was right in front of him. He put his hands on shoulders, in hopes to get Magnus to wake up. “Magnus, tell me what has happened.”

Magnus continued to attempt to control his breathing, nodding. “Can we sit down?”

Ragnor blinked for a second, thrown off guard. But he nodded quickly, guiding Magnus to the dining table, because he honestly wasn’t sure Magnus would make it on his own. When he had gotten Magnus sat down and calm, he leaned his elbows on the table, fingers intertwined. “Now, my friend, tell me what’s wrong.”

Magnus closed his eyes, remembering the last hour’s events clearly. “I was trying to find the lady Isabelle’s chambers when I came across her servant and she brought me to her. We talked, I gave her the potion, and went on about my day. I was trying to find my way back here, but there are so many hallways here, I just couldn’t figure it out.” He paused, taking a breath, because it was when he physically couldn’t talk anymore had he realized he said all of that in one breath.

“I turned a corner and, funnily enough, I actually ran into the prince of Idris himself, Alexander Lightwood. I mean, we literally collided, and we fell to the floor. I didn’t know it was the prince, so I started flirting with him, because damn, is he beautiful.” He stopped again, and Ragnor was looking at him surprisingly. 

“You… flirted with the prince of Idris?” Ragnor asked, voice skeptical.

Magnus opened his mouth, hesitating to say something, but shook his head. “Yes, but that’s beside the point. Basically, when he told me who he was, I apologized for running into him, and he forgave me, and we went on about our business. But as I was walking back here, which I was still lost by the way, you need to show me around this place.”

“I will make sure to do that, now stop getting off track and tell me what’s got you running in here as if a griffin were chasing you.” He said it, but it wasn’t unkind, or intimidating. It was soft, as if he was silently telling him he could take his time.

Magnus shook his head again, blinking the thoughts of the hallways out of his mind. “Yes, right. I was trying to figure out how to get back here when I overheard it.”

“Overheard what?”

“You are aware of the execution on the warlock held yesterday evening, when I arrived?” Ragnor looked sad, and uncomfortable, but nodded. “His mother is here, and she is plotting revenge against the king. She said she would take his son in justice for her son.” He paused once more, truly looking at Ragnor, because he was desperate for him to understand what Magnus was saying. “Ragnor, they’re going to kill prince Alec, tonight, at the feast.”

Ragnor looked at him as if he wanted to believe him, but understood that there needed to be proof. “Magnus, these are serious allegations. Do you have you proof of such plans?”

Magnus was about to say something, but closed his mouth upon realizing that, no, he didn’t have proof. He shook his head. “Well, no, but don’t you believe me?”

“Of course, I believe you. But Robert is not going to take my word for it because I believe you. You have no position, and even though I have slight position in the court, he will think me ignorant if I were to make these accusations because you told me.” Magnus looked angry, and shocked, and Ragnor wished he could take that look away.

“So, what?” Magnus asked, incredulous. “We just allow the prince to die because you’re too afraid of what Robert would think of you?”

“I never said that,” Ragnor said quickly, voice taking on a more urgent tone, one Magnus hadn’t heard from him yet. Ragnor took a deep breath, calming himself. “Listen, Magnus. I believe we can save the prince if what you say is true.”

Magnus looked at Ragnor like he had boils all over his face. “We?”

“Well,” Ragnor said. “More so you than me.”

Magnus stood up, staring down at Ragnor. “What can I do?”

Ragnor looked at Magnus, a graver look shining in his features than Magnus had seen. He was unsmiling, and Magnus didn’t like that look on his face. He’d grown used to the smile that accompanied his face at all hours of the day. Magnus knew that whatever he would say next, would be dire. 

And he was right.

“You must use magic.”


	3. The Curse of Nefarious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a chapter three today, and I hope for chapter four tomorrow, but I will cleaning for Christmas Eve on Saturday, sp we'll see! Which reminds me, I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!
> 
> Tell me what you think of chapter 3! ;)

Magnus stared down at Ragnor from where he’d sprang up in his seat as if he had somehow sprouted more than one head, and Ragnor still wasn’t smiling. He looked serious. Magnus scoffed, shaking his head. “You want me to do what?” He hissed it out, glaring. 

Ragnor blinked once, unfazed by Magnus’ anger. “There are times, Magnus, when we must make a choice,” he said, standing up from his own seat, walking towards the middle of the room. Magnus turned to look at him, but Ragnor’s back was facing him.

“What are you talking about?” Magnus asked, outraged.

Ragnor still didn’t face him. “Sometimes that choice is hard, and it may seem wrong, even though it is right.”

Magnus closed his eyes, trying to block out his confusion and anger, taking a deep breath to control himself. “Stop it,” Magnus whispered. “Stop speaking in riddles and tell me what you mean.”

Ragnor turned around then, a somber look on his face. “You must make that choice now,” he said.

Magnus felt like it was getting harder and harder to breath. He was so angry. “You want me… to use magic, an element banned in the land of Idris, and an act punishable by death, in front of the royal family at the feast?”

It was silent for a moment, where Ragnor was calmly looking at the other vexed warlock. One word was all he said. “Yes.”

Magnus clenched his jaw, fisting his fingers in his palms. He could feel the itch under his skin, the burn of magic at the peak of his resolve. His gasping increased, and he shut his eyes, trying to block the need for his magic to release. “Are you out of your mind?” He asked through clenched teeth, opening his eyes. 

Ragnor smiled slightly, and the sight of it just made it harder for Magnus to keep control. “Maybe a little.”

“Is this a joke to you?” Magnus snarled.

Ragnor's smile turned into a frowned then. “No, I find this situation very dire and wish to settle the complication.”

“And you believe selling myself out will solve the problem?” Magnus yelled.

Ragnor sighed, looking at Magnus sympathetically. “I never said you were to use your magic right under the king’s nose.”

Magnus blanched. “You just said-“

“I said you were to use magic in front of the king, not use it so emphasized that it was obvious you were operating it.”

Magnus clenched his teeth again. “What are you talking about?”

Ragnor sighed. “There are ways for you to use your magic and go unnoticed.”

Magnus nodded, because he already knew that. “Yes, I know that, I do it all the time.”

Ragnor gestured his hands as if to say ‘see?’. “Precisely my point, Magnus.”

Magnus shook his head. “I still don’t understand.”

Ragnor rolled his eyes, but his smiled was coming back, ever so slightly. “You will use your magic tonight at the feast, with Robert in the room, but you will do so quietly.”

Magnus shook his head, and he had begun pacing. “Ragnor, my mother didn’t send me here to recklessly use my magic and get killed; she didn’t send me here so that I would be executed.” He paused his pacing, looking at Ragnor. “I came here to try to figure this out,” he gestured to himself. “The magic inside me is longing to explode, and I am powerless to control it. I came here for help. I am not here to save the prince’s backside when he gets himself in trouble.”

Ragnor looked truly apologetic, but he also had a look on his face that seemed to suggest he knew he was right. “Magnus, I understand that. But when it comes to saving someone important-“

“Important?” Magnus exclaimed. “I don’t even know him, I only met him today. And what good has he done me? Murder people like us?”

Ragnor looked offended, though Magnus didn’t know why. “He’s not like that. He’s different.”

“What do you mean, ‘different’?”

Ragnor chuckled. “You tell me, you’re the one who flirted with him.”

It was then that Magnus noticed Ragnor hadn’t asked him why he was flirting with a boy; why he was interested in another man. Which, men were not all Magnus was interested in. 

He shook his head, drifting those thoughts away.

“Look,” Magnus started. “I didn’t… flirt.” Ragnor gave him a deadpanned look. Magnus rolled his eyes. “Okay, I may have flirted a little bit.”

Ragnor waved his hand dismissively. “Magnus, what I am saying is, prince Alexander has doubted his father’s law on magic for as long as I can remember. He doesn’t agree with it, and neither does the rest of his family, but his father is blinded by his hatred. He doesn’t listen to Alec, or anybody for that matter.”

Magnus sighed, because he knew he was right. He couldn’t just let an innocent man die for his father’s actions. He looked at Ragnor, biting his lip. He shook his head, unsure. “I don’t know, Ragnor… This is my life we’re talking about.”

Ragnor smirked knowingly. “I thought you didn’t care about that,” he said. Magnus frowned, and Ragnor knew he’d hit a sore spot. “I know you never thought your life worth anything, I know what that feels like. You forget I was once in your same position as well.”

Magnus made a face of sympathy, but he was still hurt and angry inside. “Ragnor, even if I were to do it, my magic is still faulty. There a difference between forming small spells and saving royalty.”

Ragnor took a step forward. “Magnus, you are much more capable than you think you are.”

Magnus laughed, but it was bitter. “Yes, I know, I have seen firsthand what I am capable of.”

Ragnor was taken aback, because he knew what he was referring to. Just last year, his magic had backfired at his step-father out of fear. He had burned him where he stood. Ragnor saw the memory flashing through Magnus’ eyes, and tried to step closer to him, but Magnus put a hand up as if to say ‘stop’.

It was silent, all that could be heard was each other’s breathing. Ragnor knew Magnus was trying to collect himself, he could see it in his posture, his tense shoulders. Magnus had his eyes closed, as if trying to block something out, and Ragnor wondered if maybe he was fighting off his magic

Ragnor only wished he could get Magnus to see how magnificent he was. How strong, and how unbroken he is, even if Magnus thinks he is shattered. He longed for Magnus to accept who he was. And not just his magic. 

Magnus was different, when it came to his sexuality; Ragnor could see that. He knew he was attracted to both men and women, he could see that clearly. And although Magnus just admitted to flirting with the prince, he hadn’t admitted out loud that he was intrigued by both sexes. 

“Magnus,” he tried, but Magnus interrupted. 

“I need air,” Magnus breathed, not looking at Ragnor as he left the room.

…

Magnus heard the door behind him shut as he left, but he didn’t care. He just kept on walking the halls, knowing good and well that it was more than likely he would get lost again. His heels clicked as he wandered, not really knowing where he was supposed to be going. He just knew he had to get out of there; had to get as far away from Ragnor as he could. Not because he was that angered, which he really was, but he could feel the swirl underneath his skin. 

He knew what he was about to do, and he didn’t know why, but he felt he couldn’t hurt Ragnor. He’d known him less than a day, but somehow, he’d made a place for him in his heart. He knew how special Ragnor was, and he could see the history of what he’d been through in his eyes.

He wondered how Ragnor managed to hide his magic for as long as he has. He’s been here, as the court physician since before Alec was even born, and he was the oldest sibling, which had to mean it's been a long time. 

The king trusted Ragnor, saw Ragnor as a friend and loyal member of the court. But Magnus wondered how he would react if he knew Ragnor was a warlock, and dabbled in magic. Well, Magnus thought, not dabbled. He was a pretty powerful from what he could sense through his own magic. 

He trusted Ragnor probably more than the king did, but he didn’t know why. He doesn’t trust that easily. He trusted his mother, and that was it. Or, so he thought. Ragnor had done something, said something to him that made him trust him the moment those words left his lips.

“Don’t ever apologize for who you are.”

Those words made Magnus know he was a good man, and would help him. It was those words that convinced him to stay rather than run home like a scared, little boy wanting his mother, which he still did want his mother. But he knew she was okay. 

Or, thinking she was eased his mind rather than worrying about her twenty-four seven. 

The people at the village never treated him right. The other children would beat him when he was younger, and they would beat him now, but not as often as when he was a child. They would hold him down and tease him with fire at his arms. They would tell him, if he loved fire so much to produce it, then surely he liked the feeling of it on his skin. 

But they didn’t understand, that wasn’t what his magic was. Well, it was, but it wasn’t meant to hurt him, he was the one who wielded it. It was meant to hurt others who did him harm. The only reason his magic never backfired on the other villagers was because what they did to him were no different than what his step-father had always done. 

It wasn’t until his step-father was killing him, did his powers react. It wasn’t even out of fear of death, it was because he couldn’t breathe, and he desperately needed oxygen. It would have been different if his father had just stabbed him, or snapped his neck, because that was quick. But the path his step-father had chosen was slow, and Magnus was thrashing to get out; was begging to whoever would listen that he would be allowed to breathe, but no one answered his call.

His magic did…

He felt like a monster, because how could he not? He'd murdered, he’d killed.

But… the only things he could ever count on were his magic, and his mother. 

And he thought, now, maybe Ragnor.

But then he was reminded of what Ragnor was asking him to do. He was asking him to risk his head, and use this curse he was destined to have for the rest of his life, in front of the one man that hated magic more than anything. 

The king.

But it was to save the prince, so… surely, he could do this. Surely, he could be brave enough to save an innocent soul destined for greatness; destined to be a good king. Or, rather he thought he would be. He seemed very kind when Magnus talked to him today, and he was certainly beautiful. Magnus didn’t know if he’d ever seen someone so beautiful. 

He just… He was afraid…

Suddenly, Magnus saw a flash of white hair, and he looked up to see the old women from earlier. She was heading somewhere, and Magnus had every intention to find out where. He pretended to be going to the same direction as her, following her, blending in with the others walking in the hallways.

He followed her until they were in the courtyard, the same one her son was murdered in just yesterday evening. He saw her avoiding eye contact with anyone who passed by, and he made sure to keep his own eyes on her. If he lost her, then all hopes on finding out what the hell was going on would be ruined. 

They made it to the townhomes outside the castle vicinities, and he followed her to a little cottage, and watched her go inside. He decided to wait outside for a while, pretending to be looking at the food on the market tables, and smiling at people as they walked by. 

He heard her door open, and he whipped around to see her lock the door, and take off somewhere else. Magnus was going to follow, but then thought about what was inside her home. Surely, there would be information he and Ragnor needed in there. 

He ran to her door, looking around to make sure no one was watching him. His hand hovered above the door lock, and his eyes glowed yellow. There was a ‘click’, and the door popped open. He smiled, looking back one more time to make sure she wasn’t coming back, before heading inside. 

It was dark, and there was no one else in there. There was a kitchen table and a cot, and that was basically it. It wasn’t like Isabelle’s room or anything, but it was still better than what he had at home. He shook thoughts of his mother away.

His hands began to glow blue, as a source of light, and began digging around to see what was here that he could use as proof. He went through some drawers and a cupboard, but found nothing.

Until he saw a gold box with strange carvings on it sitting under her cot. The same carvings on the knife. 

He walked towards her cot, bending down to pick up the box. He tried to open it, but found it locked. He repeated what he’d done to the door to get in here in the first place, and it opened. 

The dagger was inside. 

He picked it up, examining it, wishing he could read the language all over the hilt. 

His eyes glowed yellow again, producing a mental copy of it in his head so he could show Ragnor when he got back their chambers. 

He put it back in the box, relocking it, and slipping it back under the bed.

He left before anyone could return.

…

“Ragnor,” Magnus breathed, running in on Ragnor working on more potions. Magnus wondered if he ever did anything else.

“Ah,” Ragnor chirped. “Magnus,” he turned away from his potions, smiling. “Are you feeling better?”

“I will do it,” Magnus blurted, and he could see shock on Ragnor’s face. “I will save Alec.”

Ragnor blinked, opening his mouth to say something, but it took him a moment for anything to be said. “What changed your mind?”

“This,” Magnus said, waltzing up to Ragnor and putting his first two fingers from each hand on his temples. Ragnor was confused, but realized what he was doing. Magnus’ eyes shined yellow around the irises, and Ragnor jolted as the picture flashed in his head.

“What is that?” Ragnor asked.

“That, Ragnor,” he started, taking his fingers away. “Is what will be used to kill the prince tonight.”

Ragnor narrowed his eyes. “How did you get that?”

Magnus looked nervous, but told him anyways. “I followed the mother to her cottage in the town. I saw her, and I knew I had to do something. I knew she would have information we needed.”

“You broke into her home,” Ragnor said, and it wasn’t a question.

“Yes.”

Ragnor smiled widely. “Very good,” he said. “I am glad you were careful, though. That could have ended differently.”

Magnus chuckled. “Well,” he said, feeling a bit impressed with himself.

“That language…” Ragnor mumbled to himself, walking to his bookshelf. His finger was gliding against the spines, looking for whatever it was he needed.

“You recognize it?”

“Yes, I just can’t remember what it means- ah!” He seemed to have found what he was looking for. He pulled out a small, brown book. It was old. He began flipping through the pages. “I remember it being related to a curse.”

“Curse?” Magnus felt sick.

“Yes,” Ragnor hummed. “Here,” he pointed at an inscription on the page, and Magnus leaned over his shoulder to read. “One hit with the dagger marked with the writing of Nefarious, will die on instant impact.”

“Nefarious,” Magnus said to himself. “That mean’s evil.”

“Because Nefarious was an evil man.” Ragnor said to Magnus, but he was looking up from the pages at no one. “He had made that writing centuries ago to achieve acts such as this one being plotted against the prince. It is a curse, after all, it’s meant to stick around.”

Magnus furrowed his brow. “But,” he started, confused. “People usually form curses because they feel they have been wronged in a way. How was he wronged?”

Ragnor looked down at Magnus. “The story is, is that he wasn’t. He was an evil man who wished misfortune upon others. It’s as simple as that. That’s why he created the writing.”

“How did this woman manage to get a blade with his writing?”

“I have no idea,” Ragnor said. “But that doesn’t matter. We have to take the curse out of the words on the blade.”

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked, and Ragnor went to his cupboard this time.

“It means, we need to de-curse it,” he said, a little bit too happy for the situation transpiring. “This,” he pulled a large, brown leather bound book. There were locks on the side. He put it in Magnus’ hands. “Should help you with that.”

Magnus looked down at it. “What is it?” He asked.

Ragnor smiled gently. “It’s a book of spells.” He saw how Magnus looked down at it in awe. “And it’s yours.”

Magnus’ head shot up at that. “Oh, no, I couldn’t.”

Ragnor put a hand on his shoulder. “It is yours,” he repeated, slower, more final, but not unkind. He was smiling. 

Magnus looked shy. “Thank you, Ragnor.”

“It is my pleasure,” he said.

“But,” Magnus began. “I am still not clear on something. Why should I have to use magic? What if the blade never hits him? What if they never get the chance to use it? Can’t I just… push him out of the way if they were to throw it?”

Ragnor chuckled. “And what if you can’t get to him in time? What if they don’t throw it, but physically stab him with it? What if they do throw it, and it hits him? At least, now, if we can find the spell to get rid of its curse, he would have a fighting chance if he were wounded by it.”

Magnus sighed. “Alright, I see your point.”

Ragnor smiled wider. He patted Magnus on the shoulder. “Now,” he exclaimed. “Let us look for a spell that will help you.”

…

“What if I do it wrong?”

“You’re not going to do it wrong, Magnus.”

“But what if I do?”

“Magnus, you worry too much.”

“No, you worry too little.”

“Get dressed, Magnus, everything will be fine.”

When they’d found the spell they needed and Magnus had memorized it word for word, Ragnor had asked Magnus to hide the spell book in a place that was easily accessible, but not out in the open. Magnus had found a loose piece of wood on the floorboards, and hid it in there. 

Now, though, they were supposed to be getting ready for the feast and preparing themselves for what would go down tonight. Magnus didn’t really have any nice clothes, he only had four shirts, and they were all ripped. Magnus was alone in his room, shirtless. He had on his nicest pair of pants and a pair of black boots he only wore on formal occasions. 

But his shirt… He didn’t want to show up at a royal feast alongside Ragnor, and embarrass him. He wanted to make a good first impression, and, let’s be honest.

Prince Alec would be there. His hair was fixed nicely; big on top and shaved on the sides. If there was one thing he could maintain in his hard life, it was his hair.

He sighed, leaving his room to see Ragnor waiting in the main room, wearing a nice, long, green robe. It wasn’t the one he usually wore, it was nicer; more formal. Ragnor turned to Magnus, and smiled. “Is that how you’re going to go?” He gestured to Magnus’ bare chest.

Magnus wasn’t uncomfortable with showing his body, but that didn’t mean he liked it. The remnants of his starvation back at the village was suddenly being shown all over him. “I-I don’t have anything nice to wear…” he mumbled.

Ragnor made a face of realization, that slowly formed to sympathy. He went to a chest that was sitting near his bookshelf against the wall, and pulled out a clean, new looking tunic. It was green, and Magnus wondered if he owned anything that wasn't green. 

Ragnor walked up to Magnus, putting the shirt in his hand, and smiled gently. He didn’t even say anything. Magnus took it graciously, smiling back. He went back to his room and slipped it on. It was big on him, considering how thin he was compared to Ragnor, but he wasn’t going to complain.

He took a deep breath before heading back out his room. “Thank you,” he said to Ragnor as he closed the door behind him. Ragnor looked at him, and Magnus found that he couldn’t read his expression. Since he’d been here, Magnus could read Ragnor like a book, but wasn’t getting anything from his features now. “Are you okay?” Magnus asked.

Ragnor blinked, as if just now realizing he was staring. “Yes, sorry, I am just…” He was struggling for words. He sighed, looking down before looking back up at Magnus. “I am just so sorry for whatever it is you and your mother endured.”

Magnus was taken aback for a moment, not sure how to respond, but then smiled and chuckled softly. “Me and my mother have a saying. Something we tell each other when we feel like we can’t take anymore. Something we rely on when we feel lost, or scared, or desperate for an end. It’s something I try to keep saying, because I am afraid if I don’t, then I won’t be able to continue, and I’ll let her down.”

Ragnor tilted his head, a despondent look on his face. “And what is that?” He asked.

Magnus thought about his mother then, before answering. Thought about what she could be doing right now. He wondered if she was enduring. He wondered if she was okay. He felt a tug at his heart. A tug that was pulling him back to his mother, that was trying to wrench him back home, even though he knew he couldn’t go. 

He felt tears welling in his eyes, and he could see that Ragnor noticed. Ragnor took a step towards him. “What is it that you two say to each other?” His voice was so gentle, that Magnus felt his heart break. Because it was gentle for him. Magnus took a shaky breath, and felt a tear roll down his cheek. Ragnor was now in front of him, wiping the tear away. “What is it, Magnus?”

“You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all.” He knew his breath was hitching, and he knew his was resolve was slipping, but dammit, he didn’t care. He hasn’t had a chance to let it go yet. He needed to let it go, or he feared his magic would do it for him.

Suddenly, he was in Ragnor’s arms, and he dug his face into Ragnor’s chest because, maybe, if he pushed himself into Ragnor’s embrace enough, he would disappear. 

“You’re going to be okay, my boy, I promise.” Ragnor whispered. Magnus heard a sob crawl its way up his throat, and Ragnor tightened his arms around him. “Shh,” he hushed. “Everything is going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.” 

They stayed like that for a while, and Magnus relished himself in it. The only other person who had ever hugged him, and held him like this, was his mother. It was nice, knowing there someone else who cared about him, and wanted to comfort him this way. 

It was hard, it was so hard, growing up the way he had. He never had a childhood. From the moment his step-father laid a hand on him, he was no longer a child; he was fending for himself and for his mother. He loved his mother, he truly did. But sometimes he felt as if he were raising her rather than the other way around. He never minded it though, or tried to convince himself he didn’t. 

He sniffled, rubbing his eyes, and pushing himself out of Ragnor’s arms. “I am sorry,” he mumbled. 

Ragnor shook his head. “How many times do I have to tell you not to apologize?” He asked, voice tender. 

They both shared a gentle laugh, and Magnus looked down. Ragnor, with a smile on his face, pulled Magnus’ head back up. “Are you ready, my friend?”

Magnus nodded, though it was reluctant.

“It’s going to be fine, Magnus. As long as you be careful where you direct the magic, everything will go according to plan.”

Magnus nodded again. He smiled, though forced.

Ragnor chuckled, gesturing his head towards the door. “Come on,” he said, and they headed for the feast, anticipation weighing heavy in their hearts.


	4. The Big Feast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this yesterday but with my family over I felt rude just isolating myself off in my room, so I woke up early to finish and edit. I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS AND GOT ALL THE PRESENTS THEY DESIRED! It is only one week until SHADOWHUNTERS COMES BACK! I am super excited for all the MALEC!
> 
> By the way, this chapter is very much like the first episode of Merlin, just saying.
> 
> Anyways, sorry. Go ahead and read now and tell me what you think.

There were many people walking about the feast room, and Magnus felt extremely uncomfortable. All of these people were celebrating the past fifty years without magic, which would be okay if that did not come along with the murder and discriminative execution of hundreds of warlocks that walked these lands. He was disgusted that he was here, in the midst of it. He wished he could change that. 

Ragnor was next to him, silently giving him support by just being there. He looked down at Magnus, smiling. They were standing off near the side of the room as people danced about to the sound of the people playing their instruments on the platform. Magnus hated the music, and hated being here. 

He looked around some more, and had to admit that there were some pretty attractive people here, and thought about maybe trying to communicate with them, but decided against it. There was one boy standing alone on the other end of the room. He was pale, and skinny, with long brown hair that swept over his blue eyes. His facial features were sharp, and Magnus had to confess that he was a very cute boy. 

There was another girl near the door, and she was just as beautiful. She had an hourglass figure, wearing a fancy purple dress. Her hair was long, and ginger. She was pale, freckles accompanying her face. Her eyes were almost the color of her dress, and Magnus wondered if she was one of those people whose eyes changed colors due to what they were wearing. 

He found those people interesting, and he found her just as attractive as the boy. 

He knew his mother was aware that he was captivated by both sexes, but he’d never said it aloud. He didn’t think he could. He didn’t know how. How do you tell the one person who means the most to you in the world that there was something so different about you that you didn’t know if they would accept it or not? Although she’d never made any bigotry comments, that didn’t mean she wouldn’t when he confirmed her suspicions. 

He looked up at Ragnor, who was looking at the dancers, bored. He wondered if Ragnor would accept it… He’d like to tell him, but he didn’t know… He just didn’t know how he would react. What if he was repulsed? What if he recoiled against Magnus, and hit him like his step-father had done every day. 

Every day until Magnus killed him…

He shook the thoughts away, though he was also pulled out of them. 

The big double doors to the room opened, and the royal family entered with the applause of the others in the room. Magnus looked at Ragnor again, and he was applauding as well, so Magnus did too. He didn’t know, was he supposed to? 

He saw the king next to the queen in his rich, royal clothing and wanted to punch him in the face. He avoided looking at him. Isabelle was behind them, beautiful as always. Her makeup was gorgeous, and Magnus wished he had some. Behind her was some blonde boy that Magnus hadn’t seen yet, and wondered how he was part of the royal family. He looked nothing like them…

But he didn’t care about it anymore when the prince Alexander was the next to catch his gaze. His hair was fixed in a messy style, and his clothes were layered with blue over gray. It suited him. He looked at Alec’s face, and could see that he seemed uncomfortable with the attention he was getting, though he continued to smile awkwardly at the people cheering. He had a reputation to keep. 

Magnus didn’t really know what he felt for the prince. Not that it mattered, he was the prince, and he was an aid to the court healer. Nothing would ever happen between them, even if Magnus had wanted something to. 

After the crowd had calmed and the royal family split up to go their own way, Magnus saw Isabelle making her way towards him. Clary, the princess’ servant, had managed to find her, and she accompanied her side. Magnus smiled, bowing. “My lady,” he hummed.

“Magnus,” she greeted, still smiling. Ragnor bowed too, and Isabelle looked at him. “So, Ragnor,” she sounded mischievous, and Magnus wondered what she was up to. “When did you decide to get a servant.”

Magnus rolled his eyes this time, not caring it would be disrespectful. “I’ve already told you, I am not his ser-“

“Oh,” Ragnor began with a breath. He was smiling, though it was wayward. “I was tired of doing everything myself. I needed some assistance.”

Magnus blanched. “Ragnor!”

Ragnor smiled wider, looking down at him and patting his shoulder. “Oh, it’s alright. You’re not any lower or anything,” he chirped.

“I am not your servant,” Magnus grumbled.

“Well,” Isabelle started. “It’s a good thing you got extra help.”

Clary was snickering, and Magnus glanced at her as if to say ‘help me’. She just shrugged, laughing.

Magnus tried to walk away, but Ragnor grabbed him by the elbow, laughing. “We’re just having a little joke, Magnus, don’t be so sore.”

Magnus huffed out a breath, arms crossed over his chest. He knew he was pouting, but he didn’t care. “It’s not funny,” he said lowly.

They laughed again, and decided to calm their joke. “Seriously, though,” Clary began. “What made you come to Idris?”

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, but found he didn’t have an excuse. “Um…” he mumbled. 

He looked up at Ragnor for help. “He is just getting some education,” he said.

“Right,” Isabelle said, nodding her head. “Magnus said that, but it felt like a lie. It still does,” she shrugged. “But I won’t push it.” Magnus bowed, as if to say thank you. 

“Your makeup is beautiful,” Magnus said, and it wasn’t shy. 

Isabelle smiled, and Magnus was shocked when she bowed for him. “Thank you, Magnus.” She looked at him as if she knew something he didn’t. But he did know. He knew what she was smiling about. 

He wanted to wear makeup.

He always found makeup interesting, and had gone to his mother to ask if he could play around with it. He didn’t know how, but the first time he held a brush and liner pencil in his hand, he knew exactly what to do with it. His mother had smiled at him, and told him he did a good job.

Then she asked him if he would put makeup on her. And he had found that he really enjoyed it. He was almost tempted to ask Isabelle if she would ever allow him to do it for her, but didn’t. 

“Magnus?” It was Isabelle. 

It was then Magnus had realized that they had been asking for his attention for a while now. Ragnor was looking at him concerned. He shook his head. “Sorry,” he smiled. “I was off in my head.”

Isabelle nodded in understanding. She looked back at her parents, and then at Magnus. “I should probably go to them,” she said. She didn’t sound excited about it. “Goodbye, Magnus.”

“My lady,” he bowed.

“I hope to see you again soon,” she purred. 

“Likewise, your highness.”

She smiled one last time before taking off towards her parents. Clary didn’t follow, but instead looked at Isabelle with a face of pity. “My lady…” she whispered sadly.

“Clary?” Magnus asked, concerned.

Clary shook her head, smiling. “My apologies. I should probably go refill drinks and such. See you later, Magnus?”

Magnus nodded, smirking. “You know where to find me, biscuit.”

Clary giggled, and took off.

Ragnor blinked at him. “Was that a flirt?” He asked, unsure.

Magnus furrowed his brow. “What?” But then understood. “What, no, no!” He exclaimed, face contorting in disgust. “I mean, she is beautiful of course, and very nice, but she’s a friend.”

Ragnor nodded, smirking. “Right, because you would rather flirt with the prince of Idris.”

Magnus was going to say something sarcastic back, but found he didn’t have anything. Ragnor looked at him expectantly, looking like he wanted to laugh. Magnus sighed. “Shut up,” he mumbled, and Ragnor chuckled.

…

The longer the night transpired, the more nervous Magnus was becoming. It was easier to ignore the trepidation while he was engaged in conversation with Isabelle, and even Ragnor had gone to speak to the king and queen. He’d asked Magnus to join him, but Magnus just scoffed and said “as if”, and Ragnor had walked away. 

Magnus watched them talk, and he felt a surge of anger. There Ragnor was, a wonderful, kind, selfless, innocent man, speaking to the king of Idris. A king who would have him hanged without thought or hesitation, and all because he was a sorcerer; because he had magic. 

Ragnor was a man who had been with the king for longer than Ragnor himself could even remember. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Ragnor was to follow orders from the king and queen, save the lives of many of the court with his skills, and probably saved the king or queens life on more than one occasion, only to know that it wouldn’t matter. He was a warlock, and they would kill him. They would dismiss his loyalty and selflessness because he wielded magic.

All of the deception, and lying, and hiding, and fearing, and loathing was enough to drive a man mad, and Magnus wondered how Ragnor felt about all of it. 

Because Magnus had known what it was like to fear the inevitable. To know that there was a demon in your midst, and not know when it would make its move and attack. To know there was nothing you could do to stop the attack when it does. Instead, you sat in apprehension, waiting, loathing, dreading as that voice in your head taunted you. 

He knew, and he knew what it did to your mentality. 

He hoped with all his heart that Ragnor was not succumbed to that. He didn’t seem like he did, but you never know. Magnus smiled all the time to forget the actual misery that he felt weighing him down.

He worried one day it would weigh him six feet under. 

But all he had to do to keep going was remember his and his mother’s phrase.

You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all. 

He saw Ragnor smile, then bow. He turned away from the king and queen and made his way back to Magnus’ side. “They asked about you,” he said.

Magnus’ head whipped up, fear overtaking his heart. “What?”

Ragnor seemed to realize his mistake in communication, and shook his head, brow furrowed. “No, not like that. They don't suspect anything.”

Magnus breathed an exhalation of relief. “Then what did they want?”

Ragnor smirked, looking away. “They wanted to know why I decided to acquire a servant.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, sagging his shoulders in defeat. “I am not your servant.”

Ragnor chuckled. “I know, that’s what I told them. I just told them what we told lady Isabelle.”

Magnus frowned. “It’s a pretty lame excuse, though, Ragnor.”

Ragnor shrugged. “Yeah, well, he quit asking questions about you after that, so I believe he bought it.” Magnus looked down, thinking about what he was thinking about a while ago. Ragnor seemed to have noticed. “What is it, Magnus?”

Magnus shook his head, blinking slowly. “It’s just… How do you do it?” 

Ragnor looked to side awkwardly before bringing his gaze back. “Do what?”

Magnus gestured to the king. “That,” he said. “This,” he then gestured around him. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how do you speak to the king everyday so casually? How do you be friends with him? How do you continue to take orders from him? How do you help him? How do you do all of that, knowing that if he knew who you really were, he’d kill you?” His voice was rushed, and offended, but offended for Ragnor, not himself.

Ragnor chuckled then, and Magnus didn’t know how he did. “I guess, going off what you and your mother say, you endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all.”

Magnus’ frown deepened, but didn’t say anymore, instead just looked away. 

He didn’t know how he felt about Ragnor using their phrase. It was meant for him and his mother. But he figured, considering everything Ragnor has done for him so far, and this just being the first day being here, he could allow Ragnor that incentive. 

He let it go, and it became silent. 

Magnus was then again reminded of why he was here tonight.

…

Magnus and Ragnor had decided to go get a small plate of appetizers laid out on the table for people to grab before the big feast. The closer the dinner got, the more Magnus became aware of the people around him. He looked around for the old women and younger man, but hadn’t spotted them yet. Either because he couldn’t see them, or they just were not there yet. 

“Oh,” Ragnor breathed, picking up a piece of celery. “I love celery.” He bit into it.

Magnus scrunched his nose. “Gross,” he said. “My mother likes celery,” he explained. “She always tried to get me to eat it, but I never did find it appetizing. We laugh about it, though I honestly don’t know what’s so funny. It’s just nice to laugh with her.”

Ragnor smiled gently. “I am sure it is,” he said. 

“It’s just…” Magnus groped for words. “I just find it so precious when we have moments like that. It’s better to laugh, and joke, and be happy than sit there and wait for him to-“ he realized what he was saying, and cut himself off. He looked at am understanding Ragnor, and looked back down at his own plate that just had peanuts on it. 

“Let’s go back to our spot,” Ragnor suggested softly.

Magnus nodded.

Just as they turned around, Magnus felt himself bump into someone, and he was about to apologize, but then he saw the face of the old women’s friend looking back at him. He had dark skin, and dark eyes, and dark hair, and he just had a very dark aura. Magnus didn’t like it one bit. 

Magnus cleared his throat. “S-Sorry…”

“Watch it,” the man grumbled. “You wouldn’t want to make me angry at a time like this.” He smirked.

Magnus blinked, though he knew what he was referring to. “Of course,” he said. “My apologies.”

The man just huffed out, and shoved past his shoulder to get his food. 

Ragnor helped guide Magnus back to their little corner, and he saw how white he was. “Magnus, what is it?”

“That man,” he said, detached. 

Ragnor shook his head. “What?”

“He’s working with the boy’s mother.”

Ragnor’s eyes widened slightly, looking back at the man. “You are certain?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Yes, I saw him with her when I saw them in the corridors earlier.”

Ragnor straightened his back, eyes becoming hard. “Then it is about to start.”

…

Magnus and Ragnor had been on edge, not joking with each other, and unsmiling. The king had called for the feast to begin, and many of the knights and court members had taken their seats at the long table, of which the royal family sat on the end. Magnus was next to Ragnor, his fingers tapping on the table. 

He was nervous, but could you blame him? He was about to use magic in front of the royal family, in front of the king and queen. He had to be sure they would not notice. He did not come here to Idris to be murdered by a tyrant. 

“Stop tapping,” Ragnor whispered.

“Sorry,” Magnus stopped. “I am just nervous.”

“Don’t be,” Ragnor’s voice was gentle. “It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine, you just have to be smart about this.”

He looked up at Ragnor, desperately. “What if I never get to take the curse away from the dagger?”

“You will, my friend, just stay calm.” He put a hand on Magnus’ to calm him, and Magnus was surprised when it did. He wondered if maybe Ragnor had used a calming spell on him.

Magnus nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

“Friends, family, loyal knights,” the king’s voice echoed the room as he stood up from his seat. He looked down at his wife, Maryse if he remembered correctly, and smiled. “We are here tonight, united around this table of loyalty, celebrating the fifty years of banishment of magic. We are one step closer to the complete eradication of that evil element that tarnishes this world.” Magnus felt a growl low in his throat. “Let us eat!” He yelled, and people cheered.

Magnus wanted to puke. Ragnor grabbed his hand under the table in support. He did not cheer, or clap. “Just smile, and eat. You’ll be fine.”

He did.

The food was absolutely divine, but he felt guilty after he’d nearly licked the plate dry. This was food made by murderers in the kitchen of evil.

Okay, so maybe he was being a but overdramatic, but he didn’t know what else to do so he just did that. He looked over at Ragnor, who had also finished his dinner made by murderers in the kitchen of evil. Ragnor slid his gaze towards him too, and they exchanged nervous smiles, but Magnus didn’t hold the façade for long.

“Ragnor, why haven’t they made their move?” He asked.

Ragnor shook his head. “I am not certain.”

It was silent between them again, the laughing and talking of the people around them making them more nervous. “Should I do something?” Magnus wondered.

Ragnor turned to Magnus. “No,” he demanded. “Wait for them to make their appearance.”

“But Ragnor, what if they’re on to something else? What if they’ve changed their plan?”

Ragnor put a calming hand on his, and Magnus took a deep breath. “Just wait, and be calm, Magnus.”

Magnus honestly didn’t like that idea. He wanted to look around, see if he could find them. But he couldn’t deny Ragnor his request. 

But he did roll his eyes and look away. When he turned his gaze away, he felt his heart flutter. 

Alec, the prince of Idris, was staring at Magnus, almost as if captivated. Magnus stared back. Alec flashed him a smile, and Magnus returned the gift. He could see Alec chuckle, though he didn’t hear him over the rest of the feast. Magnus winked at him, turned back to Ragnor, but Ragnor was watching them.

Magnus smirked at him. “Seems the prince enjoys my pretty face just as much as I enjoy his.”

Ragnor didn’t know what to say, just continued to look between his aid and the prince, who was still staring.

“I didn’t know the prince was…” He didn’t finish the sentence. 

Magnus furrowed his brow. “Was what?”

“Well, I just didn’t know he was into men like that…”

Magnus was reminded of the fact that he hadn’t yet told Ragnor he was too. And he hadn’t told Ragnor he was into girls just as much as boys. “Is that bad?” He asked cautiously.

Ragnor shook his head quickly, looking down at Magnus. “No, my friend, not at all. There is nothing wrong with that.” 

Magnus couldn’t help but feel Ragnor was trying to tell him something. He thought about telling him then and there, but decided against it when the double doors opened, and the mother and her friend walked in. 

The mother’s hands were glowing, and those around the table stopped; some standing but legs unmoving, and some seated in shock. The king and queen had a look of anger on their faces, but the rest of the royal family looked slightly frightened. 

The king stood up, pointing at them. “Sorcery!”

The mother laughed. “Correct,” she said. The man next to her was smirking. “The power we wield is a gift, and you persecute those who have it just because you don’t.”

“You’re out of order!” The queen yelled, standing next to her husband. 

“This whole thing is out of order,” she barked back, and Magnus couldn’t help but agree. He began searching her person for the dagger, and found it sheathed at her waist. He looked up at Ragnor, who nodded the confirmation. He began chanting, quietly, barely audible. “You killed my son,” the mother said, smile gone, replaced with sadness. “You took my child away, and you will soon my pain.”

“Is this a threat?” The royal blonde asked. 

Magnus continued chanting, his eyes glowing yellow, and the dagger glowed a bit at her side, but no one noticed. He stopped, and he knew the curse was gone.

“Oh, no, my lord,” she mocked. “This is a guarantee.” And she began firing her magic. 

People began running, and Magnus was worried he would lose sight of her through the chaos, but it’s hard to lose the sight of someone who had glowing hands. He counted it a plus. He gave Ragnor a glance before taking off, heading towards the prince. If she was moving, that’s where she was heading. 

He was fast; he was worried if he wasn’t, the prince would be injured. Even though the blade was no longer fatal with the Curse of Nefarious, he was still worried that if he were pierced, it would not end well. He was being pushed around, the frantic running of the civilians being an obstacle. 

A blast of magic was shot towards him, and he and the others around him were shot back. He hit the corner of the feasting table, falling to the ground with a yelp. He was winded for a second, but shook his head, quickly standing back up. He saw the mother making her way towards the prince, and the king and queen were trying to order guards to stop her, but she just kept blowing them away with her magic.

“You will know my pain!” She yelled, getting closer and closer to the prince. 

He didn’t know what to do, and he looked around for Ragnor to try to get some sort of support. He found him through the crowd, and he slid his eyes up, and Magnus followed his gaze. 

The chandelier, which hung just above the mother of the boy. 

He looked back down at Ragnor, and he nodded. He brought his gaze back to the chandelier, and just as the mother was about to throw the blade at the wide-eyed prince, his eyes glowed yellow, and the chandelier fell on top of her. 

It got eerily silent, people stopped running, and the prince exhaled a sigh of relief. Magnus was gasping, because even though he had won, it was then he realized how much adrenaline he’d had. 

Alec and his family looked up at where the chandelier hung, then back down at where it lay on the woman. 

Magnus looked around for the man who was working with her, but he was already gone.

Just when he thought it was over, the old woman gasped, twitching. She looked up at the prince, scowling. Then she looked at the blade that was still held in her hand. 

She threw it.

The prince didn’t know what to do. In fact, no one knew what to do. But Magnus did.

He ran at the prince, and pushed him down to the floor on top of him before the blade hit him.

The people gasped, but all Magnus could see were hazel eyes that he wanted to get lost in. He was afraid he already was. Alec gasped up at him, confused. “Thank you,” he breathed out.

Magnus shrugged, gasping with him. “No problem,” he smiled.

They looked at each other for quite a while before Magnus realized he was still on top of him. He blinked, pushing up off of him. “My apologies, my lord.”

Magnus helped him up, and he swayed on his feet, still shocked. “No,” the prince said. “No apology needed.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder then, and turned around to see the king behind him, breathing deeply. “You saved my son’s life, boy.” He sounded grateful, but all Magnus could think about was running home to sanitize his shoulder. “You must be rewarded.”

Magnus looked down, suddenly feeling like all of the attention was on him. “Oh, no…” he mumbled.

“Don’t be modest, child. What do you want?”

Magnus shook his head. “No, really, I do not wish for anything, your highness.”

“I shall reward you myself then, my boy.” I am not your boy, Magnus thought. “For your courageous and brave actions against the threat of magic, and saving my son, I shall award you a place in the court. I reward you the position as Alexander’s servant.”

Magnus widened his eyes, because no. No, no, no, this wasn’t happening. Yes, he was thankful to be with the prince every day, but how was he to keep his magic a secret if he were with the prince and royal family all the time? 

He realized he hadn’t shown thanks. He didn’t say anything, but he did bow. The king clapped his shoulder, and walked away with a smile on his face. He looked at Alec, and Alec looked back. They both looked just as shocked as the other. 

This was not going to be easy.

…

“How am I supposed to do this, Ragnor?” Magnus asked as they walked through the door to their chambers. 

“Magnus, you’ll just have to be more careful than usual.”

Magnus whipped around to look at him, suddenly feeling very angry. “This is ridiculous, Ragnor! I did not come here to be a servant. I did not come here to have the king congratulate me for being a fighter against magic. I came here for help, because I am so scared, Ragnor…” His voice slowly died away to barely audible, and Ragnor titled his head in sympathy. “I am utterly terrified that my magic will explode and kill, because it is hungry Ragnor, and I am afraid I will feed it. I can’t control it when I get frightened, or angry, or overwhelmed.”

“Magnus-“ Ragnor tried, taking a step towards Magnus.

“I need help, Ragnor…” He looked down, ashamed. 

Ragnor took a deep breath, taking another step. “I will help you, Magnus. I will. This is just going to be harder than we expected, but we will get through it. I promise.”

“Don’t make empty promises, Ragnor.”

“Who said this was empty?”

“I did,” Magnus whispered. “That’s a promise you’re not for sure you can keep. And I know empty promises when I hear one. My mother promised me, every time, that she wouldn’t allow my step-father to hurt me again. But it happened, it happened every time…”

Ragnor sighed, then swallowed. “Do you trust me, Magnus?”

“Trust has nothing to do with it. I trust my mother with my life, but it still happened every time.”

Ragnor pulled Magnus into his embrace, and Magnus suddenly felt very tired. It was late, and he just wanted to sleep. “I will help you, my boy. I will help you.”

Magnus did not let any tears fall like he did before the feast, he just wrapped his arms around Ragnor, and squeezed. 

After that, he finally went for sleep.


	5. Losing the One You Love the Most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for late update! Let me explain! I have been extremely, deliriously sick with a stomach virus that has been going around and with my shitty luck, I got it. I mean I was talking during my sleep and my mom would be like "?????? u ok". 
> 
> But I am better, just really weak. I am trying to get healed. Some writing should make me happy! :D
> 
> Though it might be shorter than usual, I am sorry, I am still out of it...
> 
> Warning in this chapter for people who have struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide. You might be triggered.

_He was thrown in the river, and there was water rushing in his lungs so quickly; it was so heavy he was afraid it would pull him down further into the deepest of the dark. He was so frightened, and he managed to come up from the water for a second, taking a deep breath of air, before callused hands grabbed his shoulders and held him under._

_He was just as ashamed as he was scared. He was a big boy, he was sixteen, he should be able to take care of himself, but that was something he’d tried to convince himself every day, though it never worked. And it certainly wasn’t working now._

_He thought about his mother. She was so oblivious to what was happening to him right now. She thought he was out taking a stroll and his step-father was picking up bread, though it was always stale. They couldn’t afford the fresh bread._

_But here they were, just a little outside their village, his step-father holding him just beneath the luxury of breath. He needed to breathe; if he didn’t breathe he would die. No, no, he couldn’t die, he couldn’t leave his mother alone with this monster. He began to fight harder, but nothing was working. He tried kicking, he tried pulling, biting, pinching, but it was fruitless. It wasn't until he saw a bright, fluorescent glow in the water did he realize what was happening. His flames, his blue flames, were flickering at his fingertips, and he screamed underwater._

_No, this couldn't be happening. His step-father hated his magic, he hated to see it. The sight of it just made the man holding him down angrier. They tightened their grip, and he knew there would be bruises there when he made it out of this._

_If he made out of this._

_He would make it out of this, he had to. For his mother._

_He wasn't planning on using his magic to get out of it. The flames just took over on its own and burst from his hands like a bomb. The heat tingled at his hands for a second before he realized that there were no longer hands holding him down. He panicked more, because he couldn't have..._

_No, he couldn't have._

_He finally came up from the water, seeing stars, but that was soon forgotten when he heard screaming. He coughed, he retched, and saw him._

_His step-father was stumbling back, looking at Magnus like trash, blue flames enveloping his body. It started at his feet, and moved up to his torso, then his head. He spread away like dust, though it was ash. He had burnt his father to ash._

_He pushed himself onto the edge of the ground by the water, breathing, gasping, praying that this was a dream, that he would wake up next to his mother. But he didn't wake up, he was here, still, staring at the ash of his step-father. He would have to run home and tell his mother that he was a murderer. A monster..._

_"No..." He whispered. "No, no, no, no..." He repeated it like a mantra, squeezing his head in his hands, pulling his hair, scratching at his face. "No!"_

...

"No!" Magnus shot up from his covers, gasping, searching for breath.

"Magnus!" There was voice, and he looked to the side to see Ragnor, his hands on his shoulders trying to calm him. "It was just a dream, Magnus, you're alright." Magnus didn't know what to do, so he just allowed Ragnor to pull him into his embrace, and they stayed like that for a while until Ragnor pulled back, looking into Magnus' eyes with his concern-filled ones. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a vial, and Magnus frowned. "It's a sleeping draft, Magnus."

"Why-"

"I want you to take it," his voice was authoritative, but not unkind. He slipped it into Magnus' shaking hands, closing his fingers around it. "Take it, my friend."

Magnus had finally caught his breath, and nodded once. Ragnor nodded with him, closing his eyes in what looked like relief. Magnus opened it, and poured it down his throat.

It was an immediate effect. His skin felt tingly, but not in the sense of his magic coming, but in the sense that it was being repressed. It was nice, and felt Ragnor lower him back down onto the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. He blinked, because he couldn't keep them open. "Don't fight it, Magnus, just relax."

Magnus obliged.

He was consumed by darkness.

It didn't stop the nightmares.

...

_One week later_

He was in the prince's quarters, standing by Alec's side as he ate his morning breakfast. It had been awkward the first few days, but they had gotten over it. The only awkward part was that they didn't really talk. Magnus only talked when asking Alec if he needed anything, and Alec only talked to reply with a yes or no. It was slightly frustrating, because Alec's voice was so soft, and very creamy. Magnus liked to hear it.

Of course, Magnus could tell that the prince quiet liked him too. He caught him staring a lot when refilling a goblet, or making his bed, or polishing his armor. Magnus would smirk, and wink, and Alec would flush red, looking away quickly.

Magnus found it adorable. The prince truly was sweet. Though, the one thing that surprised Magnus the most was Alec's sense of justice. The most conversation they'd had was about the boy executed and the mother who attempted to take his life.

"You didn't find it fair, did you, my lord?" Magnus had asked.

Alec had swallowed, looking nervous. "No, I did not. But I am afraid that when it comes to magic, my father doesn't think clearly."

Magnus had tilted his head, wishing to learn more about the prince's stance on magic. "Do you believe all magic to be evil?"

Magnus couldn't deny that he had been nervous for the prince's answer, but he felt his heart swell when Alec had said, "no".

It was the most they had exchanged words. And it was easy. It was easy to talk to the prince, which he was not expecting. He was expecting it to be hard to search for the right words. He was afraid that he would accidentally say something to reveal that Magnus _was_ a sorcerer. But he hadn't, and Alec seemed talk easily as well. There was something there, this bond, though it was forming very slowly. But Magnus would allow Alec his time, because he was just a shy boy.

A shy _prince_.

A beautiful prince.

"Do you require anything else, my lord?" Magnus asked, setting the pitcher he had used to refill Alec's cup on the table.

Alec smiled up at Magnus. "No, thank you. But, if you wouldn't mind, later?"

Magnus smiled back. "Yes, of course, what do you need?"

"Could you get my armor ready for knight training later."

"You're a knight?" Magnus asked, shocked, eyebrows furrowed.

Alec chuckled, nodding. "Yes, I train with Jace later."

Jace, Magnus had discovered, was the blonde boy from the feast. He saw him sometimes, but they never engaged in conversation. He still wasn't sure how he was part of the royal family. Magnus nodded. "Yes, of course."

Alec smiled, sipping from his goblet. "Thank you, Magnus."

Magnus took a sharp breath, smiling. "May I ask of something, your highness?"

Alec frowned. "What is it?"

"Lord Jace... well he..." he was struggling for words. He was worried he would offend the young prince, which was not his intention. "He just looks nothing like you or lady Isabelle. How is he part of the royal family?"

Alec swallowed, looking slightly uncomfortable. "His father was a friend of my father. He was killed in battle, and my father swore to protect him. He's adoptive."

Magnus "ahhed". "Of course," he said. "Well, if you don't require anything?"

Alec gestured to the door. "No, please, I am all good. Just make sure you have that armor ready in here by noon."

Magnus was already at the door. He winked at Alec. "Yes, sire."

Alec blushed, and looked away as Magnus left the room, a chuckle deep in his throat.

...

Alec heard his door shut, and looked back at where Magnus was just standing. He was still new to this. Of course, he wasn't new to people doing things for him all the time, he was the prince, that was to be expected. But having a personal servant to do literally _everything_? That was different. He was sure Magnus was not too thrilled to be bound to be servant. He never did see how that was a reward for saving his life, but he didn't question it.

And he couldn't deny that it was slightly awkward. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't know how to make orders. Which was bad, considering he was next in line for the throne. He would be king one day, and he would have to make orders. But he wasn't assertive unless it involved someone he dearly cared about. Not that he didn't care about his people, of course he did. His kingdom was very special to him, and he would always be sure to protect them in any way he could.

It was just, when it came to servants, he didn't know how to act. People believed the servants to be below the royal family and the knights, but that didn't seem very fair, considering they were forced into the job. How could they be forced into the job, then be called lowly servants? That wasn't fair.

Though, his father wasn't fair, was he?

No...

That poor boy from last week was enough said. But he was not the first, nor will he be the last. His father has been executing sorcerers for as long as he could remember. He had always tried to drill in Alec's head that magic was evil, and meant to be eradicated from the lands. But, he never found that fair.

None of it was fair.

And what was _really_ unfair was how _beautiful_ Magnus was, which just made it that much harder to treat him like a servant. Magnus was beautiful enough to be prince, anyways. His tan skin was very clear, and clean, and his hair was something that he had never seen before. It was cut on the sides to be nearly bald, but not completely, and big on top, fixed in a wave. He wondered how he had gotten it to stay that way, but never asked.

_Maybe it was magic_ , he thought, laughing.

Magnus was very attractive, and those _eyes_... but he most definitely wasn't a sorcerer.

He laughed again, taking another bite of his breakfast.

...

Magnus was nervous. He was fiddling with his hands, and trying very hard to keep his magic at bay. He was a bit _too_ nervous, he knew that. But he couldn't stop it.

He was on his way to come out to Ragnor. He was finally going to come out and say he was attracted to both sexes.

Surely Ragnor wouldn't hate him. He wouldn't kick him out onto the streets just because he was different. He wasn't going to kill him, or turn him into the king. Surely not... He wasn't like his step-father, or even the king. He wasn't a man full of bigotry and hate. He was the opposite. Full of acceptance and love. He would accept him.

Even though he was sure, or rather _trying_ to be sure, he couldn't stop his heart from pounding, or his magic from swirling within him. He just couldn't. And he could feel heat at his hands, but not burning, because it never hurts him even if he wishes it would.

He hated it, but he loved it. He hated that he couldn't control it and it would lash out on its own regard and hurt others. But he loved that he had it, and he had the ability to do something beautiful others couldn't. He hated that it killed his step-father, but he _loved_ that it killed his step-father. He hated that it made him feel like a monster, but he loved that it made him feel special.

He hated it.

And he loved it.

He wished to be able to control it.

The training with Ragnor had been going okay, but it was always interrupted by his duties as prince Alexander's servant. He wasn't complaining though, because it wasn't all that bad. Not when Alec's face looked like it did.

Which was beautiful.

"Magnus," he heard his name being called, and he looked behind him to see Isabelle making her way towards him. He bowed, but Isabelle brought him back up. "Please, stop doing that. We're past that." She smiled. "How are you? I haven't seen you since the... celebrations," she said, though the last word was drawn out bitterly.

Magnus smirked. "Oh, been doing my thing."

"Is your thing my brother?" She asked, sounding mischievous.

Magnus' smirk fell immediately. He began shaking his head. "No, my lady-"

She was laughing. "Calm down, I was only kidding." Magnus sighed in relief. "Well," she said. "Half kidding."

Magnus frowned, "What do you mean, my lady?"

Isabelle's smile reached her eyes. "I see the way my brother looks at you, and I see the way you look at him. You two stared at each other at the feast last week for probably two minutes. And you winked, I saw it."

Magnus waved his hand dismissively. "Please," he said. "I wink at everyone, watch." He winked at Isabelle, and she laughed. "See?"

Isabelle looked down on Magnus, though it was playful. "That's not what I meant."

He shrugged. "I only wish to make him comfortable."

Isabelle chuckled. "He's the prince, and heir to the throne. How much more comfortable could he be?"

Magnus sighed. "I mean... he just doesn't seem to know how to treat servants."

She furrowed her brow. "He hasn't mistreated you, has he?"

Magnus put up his hands in defense. "No, no, my lady. He is very kind. I mean, he doesn't know how to be assertive."

Isabelle shrugged. "He's not an assertive guy. Do you want him to be assertive on you?"

Magnus shook his head. "No," he said. "I just don't want this to be awkward, which it kind of is so far."

She playfully slapped his arm. "Don't worry, he'll come around."

Magnus smiled, bowing his head. "I need to go, my lady."

Isabelle nodded. "Yes, of course, my apologies. You can go."

Magnus bowed despite what Isabelle said before, and took off down the hall, feeling nervous once again.

...

Ragnor was reading from a book on healing potions, and Magnus was standing in front of him, silent. Ragnor glanced up at him. "Yes, Magnus? Do you need more sleeping draft?" He stood up, walking to his cupboard.

"No," Magnus said, playing with his hands.

Ragnor seemed to have noticed how nervous Magnus looked, and gestured toward the table. They took a seat. He knew they needed to talk. "What is it, Magnus?"

Magnus took a deep breath, thinking about his next words carefully. "Remember what you said about Alexander, at the feast last week? That you didn't mind at all that he was attracted to men, rather than women?" Ragnor smiled, nodding. "Well, remember how much you like me, right?" Ragnor nodded again. "Remember I am still the same person." Ragnor's smile was widening.

"Magnus, you don't have to be afraid right now."

Magnus swallowed. "Well... Um..."

Ragnor chuckled. "Go on, tell me."

Magnus took another deep breath. "There is more to me, than just magic, and a dark past. There is something more, something deeper that makes me who I am."

"Yes?" Ragnor insisted.

Magnus was shaking. "I am not... just attracted to women, or men." Ragnor smiled wider, and Magnus thought his face would fall off. "I am attracted to _both_ women, and men."

Ragnor pulled him into a hug, squeezing him. Magnus' breath hitched, caught off guard. He didn't move. What was going on? "Ragnor?"

"Sh, just let me enjoy this moment." Ragnor chirped.

"What?" Magnus asked against Ragnor's shoulder.

Ragnor didn't reply, and for the next five minutes they didn't move.

Ragnor finally pulled him from the embrace, and Magnus saw the widest smile on his face. "Can I tell you how proud I am of you?"

That caught Magnus off guard more than the hug did. "What?"

"I am just so incredibly proud of you."

"Why?"

"Why?" Ragnor asked. "Because you are finally on your way to accepting yourself, and I knew this was the first step."

"Wait," Magnus said, putting a finger up to stop Ragnor. "You knew?"

Ragnor nodded slowly, still smiling. "Yes, I did. I suspected it when I met you, but I definitely saw it at the feast. And, well, you flirted with the prince."

Magnus looked to the side, awkward. "Yes, you have a point."

"I know I do," Ragnor hummed. "You know there is nothing to be ashamed of, right?"

Magnus didn't hesitate. "I know," he said. "I know."

Ragnor laughed, jumping up out of his seat. "I just love this."

Magnus got up next, mimicking Ragnor's smile. "Really?"

"Yes, of course."

They looked at each other for a bit, and this time, Magnus went in for the hug. It was nice. Ragnor had good hugs. He was so relieved to finally have this off of his chest. He felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. And it made it better that Ragnor accepted it. "Thank you, Ragnor." He whispered, and Ragnor wrapped his arms around Magnus.

"I am so proud, Magnus. I am so proud." He was repeating it, and it was so great to hear in his ears. He'd never heard those words before, only from his mother. It was usually words such as demon, and filthy dog that were being spat in his face.

They let each other go, and Magnus smiled up at Ragnor. "I should... You know... Go check on the prince."

Ragnor nodded. "Yes, of course."

Magnus turned to exit, but Ragnor spoke again. "Magnus," Ragnor called out. He turned around to look. "Be careful with that. Whatever it is you two have going on, just... be careful. I wouldn't want you get hurt."

Magnus blinked. "What do you mean?"

Ragnor looked uncomfortable. "Well, it's just... He's the prince."

"Yes," Magnus said.

"And you're his servant."

_Oh,_ Magnus thought. _That's what he meant_.

"Just.., be careful, my friend."

Magnus didn't know what to do for a while, he just stood there, thinking. But finally, he nodded. He understood. Of course he did. He left the room, feeling heaviness in his heart.

...

Magnus carried Alec's armor in his hands, and it was very heavy and very inconvenient. It would be nice if he had a wagon to wheel this stuff around in, but alas, he didn't. So he just struggled through the halls until he made it to Alec's chambers. He didn't knock, he never did. Alec told him he didn't have to do that unless told otherwise.

Alec was standing in front of the fire place, leaning his hands on the mantel. He looked distressed. "My lord?" Magnus asked.

Alec shook the thoughts away, turning to Magnus with a smile. "Magnus, good you're here." Magnus didn't mention anything. "And you have my armor."

Magnus winked. "Yes I do," he said. Alec blushed. He put the armor on the table in front of the fire place.

"Sorry, I am sure that was hard to carry."

Magnus just shrugged, but internally agreed. "Nah, not that bad."

Alec smiled. "Well, I hope I didn't cause too much trouble."

"Nonsense, my lord. It's an honor to serve you."

Alec blinked, as if those words shocked him. But he didn't say anything. He just shook his head. "Well, I am glad. Will you help me into the armor?"

Magnus smiled wide, because _duh_ , of course he would. "Yes," he said. He laid out the armor in order to put it on while Alec undressed. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of Magnus, shirtless. Magnus' mouth opened, because _dammit_ , Ragnor told him to be careful, but screw that. Alec looked at him confused. "Magnus?"

Magnus blinked. "Okay," he chirped. "Let me help you."

Just as he said that, Alec's doors burst open, and Isabelle was running in, smiling. "Magnus," she said. "We got mail for you, strange, but we did. It has your name on it."

Magnus' heart fell in his stomach. Why would he be getting a letter? It must be his mother. She was fine, everything was fine. But then he remembered how she acted before he left their village. His shaking hands grabbed the envelope slowly. Isabelle and Alec furrowed their brows, confused at his change in behavior. "Magnus?" Alec asked.

Magnus ignored them, opening the letter. It wasn't signed by his mother, so why would he be getting a letter with a sticker from his village on it?

"Magnus?"

He unfolded the paper.

He read it, and all of his nightmares and fears were alive, were real, and he felt his heart _literally_ break in half. His breath hitched, and he felt a hand touch his shoulder, but he brushed it off angrily, staring at the letter. He began shaking his head, mumbling.

"No... no, no, no..."

"Magnus, what is it?"

He looked up from the letter, but didn't make eye contact with anyone. He felt his magic in his hands, he felt it begging to break out of his skin, and he was going to allow it to.

But not here. He dropped the letter, running out of the room.

...

"Magnus!" Alec called, but Magnus didn't seem to hear him. He looked at Isabelle, confused. She was leaning down to pick up the letter. "What is it?" He asked.

Her eyes scanned the paper, and he saw realization shimmer in her eyes. She looked up at Alec, sadness weighing in her features. "His mother," she whispered.

Alec furrowed his brow, shaking his head, asking silently for more.

Isabelle spoke again.

"She's dead."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Uncontrollable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me explain my late ass update. 
> 
> So, that second week of holiday break I got really sick and wasn't ready to post this chapter, so I wrote another story (go check it out). Then, when this week started, it was way more hectic than I thought. I've got finals coming up, so studying is a bug priority for me, and let's not forget my color guard duties.
> 
> Also this chapter is a delicate topic that I wanted to get right. I could barely get through it, because I lost a friend this way, and really wanted to get this right. Magnus and Ragnor's thoughts in this story are a little bit... reflected through me when I was feeling like that.
> 
> So I do apologize if this isn't as quickly updated as you guys would have liked, and as a BOOSTED apology, you will get another update today. Probably later tonight.
> 
> So enjoy this, and I'll see you tonight!
> 
> Trigger warnings for this chapter: suicide, thoughts of self hate, panic

It was silent in Alec's quarters, and Isabelle and her brother just exchange concerned looks at each other. They don't know what to say. Magnus' mother was dead, and Magnus just discovered it from a letter. Alec had wanted to go after him, but Magnus ran out of the room so fast, Alec didn't even have a second to react.

Isabelle's breathing had picked up slightly, and she sighed, looking at the note again. She had to have read it wrong. But she didn't, and Magnus was emotionally compromised, running around the castle, trying to find somewhere to be; some way to fit in.

Alec's heart was broken, but he didn't know why. It wasn't his mother, though he wouldn't mind it with how she had been acting for the past couple of weeks. 

No, Alec thought. He didn't mean that. He loved his mother, he was just a little tired of her at the moment. 

Very tired of her... with all of her arranged marriages and trying to "train him to be a good king". He knew how to be a good king, and he would be a better king than his father ever could hope to be.

He looked at Isabelle's sad face, and he was sure he looked the same. "H-How...?" He asked.

She hesitated, licking her lips. She looked up from the letter, at him. "She committed suicide..."

"Oh my..." Alec couldn't even finish, his voice had faltered away, and he took a seat in the chair behind him. He wasn't sure his legs would work. He buried his face in his hands. He took deep breaths. 

He didn't know why, but he felt emotionally connected to Magnus. There was something between them that he couldn't quiet understand yet, but he knew he liked it. But this... he didn't like this, he didn't like this connection. 

Magnus' mother is dead... she killed herself, and Alec was a little concerned Magnus was going to do something similar. 

He looked up from where he was hiding himself in his hands, standing back up, though he was worried he would fall back down. "We need to find him," he whispered. 

Isabelle just nodded, but she didn't say anything.

And they didn't move... 

What were they supposed to do when they found him? Tell him everything would be alright? That's a load of garbage. There is no guarantee that anything would be okay, and they weren't going to tell him that it would be. They weren't going to lie to him. Not now.

"We should tell Ragnor," Isabelle finally spoke. "He'll know what to do, they're really close."

"But will he?" Alec asked.

"Will he what?" Her voice was so despondent, and Alec wanted to put life back in it, but he was sure he sounded the same, so he didn't do anything about it.

"Will he know what to do?" 

It was silent again. 

They just didn't know what to do.

"But, that's all we can do right now, Alec..." Isabelle said, and there were tears in her voice. 

Alec took a slow step closer to her, and pulled her into a tight hug. "I know... you're right. Lets find him." He said it while resting his chin on her head while Isabelle cried into his neck. 

And they stayed like that for a while. 

Until the one they needed walked in all on his own. Like an answer to their prayers.

The British voice echoed the room happily. "Hey, have you seen-" he cut off, seeing the state of the two. He blinked, suddenly looking very wary. There was one question ringing in his mind right now. Where was Magnus? "What's happened?"

Alec let Isabelle go, and she sniffled slightly, rubbing the bottoms of her eyes with her thumb, making sure not to smudge her make up. She looked at Ragnor, and she handed him the letter. 

He took it slowly, suddenly looking very terrified. He didn't look down at it. "What is it?" He sounded like he had an idea as to what this could possibly be, but Alec couldn't be sure. 

They didn't say anything, just glanced at each other. Alec spoke. "Just read it..."

Ragnor's breath hitched, and Alec and Isabelle were positive they'd never heard that from Ragnor before. They'd never heard Ragnor sound so... apprehensive before. Ragnor just took a deep breath, calming his nerves and swallowing. He finally willed himself to look down at the letter, eyes scanning the words. 

He gasped, eyes widening. His mouth was slightly open in shock. "Oh, my god... oh my..." he didn't know what to say. "Magnus..." he mumbled, sadly. He closed his eyes, as if trying to block it all out, but he couldn't.

None of them could. 

But then his eyes snapped open, looking at Isabelle and Alec frantically. "Where's Magnus?" He asked suddenly. 

Isabelle and Alec were shocked at the sudden change in behavior, and they didn't say anything, just blinked, confused.

"Where is Magnus?" Ragnor sounded more frightened, louder, as if terrified of what Magnus would do. 

Alec was now extremely concerned. "We don't know, he just ran out of the room," he answered. "We were hoping you would know what to do." Ragnor just looked away, at nothing in particular. His mind was reeling, and Alec could see that plainly in his features. "We can help you find him," Alec offered.

But then Ragnor looked up, alarmed. "No!" He blurted. "No, Alec, you can't." Alec had always been casual with Ragnor, and had known Ragnor for the longest of times, so he was not shocked when he didn't refer to him in the royal manner. Ragnor hardly ever did. 

"Why not?" Alec asked, suddenly feeling angry. Magnus was their friend too, they had a right to help.

But then again, maybe they should leave Magnus alone to be with Ragnor, someone Magnus trusted more than anyone. That was something they both could see. 

Ragnor just looked panicked. "I can't explain that to you, Alec, you're just going to have to trust me." 

"But-" Isabelle tried.

"Do you trust me?" Ragnor asked, interrupting.

The two siblings were just glancing at each other, uncertain of what to say. They were speechless, and they have been since they read the letter. 

They just wished they could do something, anything to help Magnus...

But... maybe to help Magnus would to be to leave him alone with Ragnor. 

And Isabelle and Alec trusted Ragnor with their lives.

They nodded. "I trust you," Alec said.

"And I," Isabelle added.

Ragnor nodded, still looking uncertain of what to do, but having a clear idea. He looked at the siblings one more time before taking off out of the room without bowing.

They were not offended.

...

Ragnor ran the halls of the castle, hoping he would see Magnus somewhere, not freaking out, not losing control, not angry, not upset, not screaming, or yelling, or throwing things around. He was hoping he would turn his head to see a calm, seventeen year old boy who just lost his mother to suicide. But that was not what he got.

He was running to his quarters so fast, because maybe Magnus was there, so he had to get there as fast as possible.

He thought about the letter he'd read the night Magnus first arrived. It was strange, and worded differently from how he remembered Viessa. She used to be very wise in what she said, but that letter was a little frantic; not calm at all. He remembered one line that sounded most definitely weird to him, and it became weirder when Magnus told him about what he and his mother say. 

He remembered it said: "I'm done enduring."

You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all.

That is what her and Magnus always say. And that day, Ragnor's eyes scanned the letter and read those words, and thought them very... un-Viessa. Viessa was always hopeful. And that letter was anything but hopeful. That letter rang with given up. 

He was almost afraid Magnus had given up, and he was terrified that he was losing control. If he lost control, and anyone but Ragnor saw, Magnus was done for. There would be no guarantee that Magnus was safe. 

And Viessa's letter asked Ragnor to protect Magnus with everything he had, no matter the cost. She had said how he was special, and how his gifts were destined for greatness. At the time, Ragnor thought those words to be full of the hope what he was so used to Viessa having, but that is not at all what those words meant. She was passing him on, giving Ragnor the responsibility of her own child.

Ragnor felt a slight surge of anger. How dare she? How dare she give up and leave her son, her damn son, because she couldn't endure anymore when Magnus still was. Magnus was fighting so damn hard to be okay, to learn, and control his magic. So why couldn't Viessa do the same, and stay alive and fight like he was? Why couldn't she be as strong as Magnus?

But it has nothing to do with being strong... it has to do with being able. Be able to endure. And she just wasn't able, she wasn't ready for what life threw at her. At least, that's how Ragnor saw it. 

But Magnus kept coming back in his head, and Ragnor would just feel angry again. She left him... she left Magnus with nothing. And now he was left behind to take care of him, and he would gladly do that with all the determination and passion he had left in his old, crippled heart. He knew he was over exaggerating, he wasn't that old at all. He was in his thirties, but he felt old. 

He'd seen a lot in his days. He'd witnessed murder first hand. Nearly every week, every month, with Robert as king. He truly believed Robert was a good, strong king. The only thing was when it came to magic, he didn't listen anymore. The king was blinded by his hatred for magic, and Ragnor was suddenly reminded that Magnus could be losing control right now.

If someone saw Magnus losing control and using his magic, they would not hesitate to turn to him and throw him in the cells as they get the execution ready. Ragnor had almost been caught a few times, but he was very careful. No one suspected him of a thing. 

But Magnus... Magnus couldn't be careful, because he didn't know how to. And Ragnor was meant to teach him, and they haven't really done that much in the last week. But even then, even in the the last week, Ragnor could see how powerful Magnus was. He could see the true extent to his abilities. And they were strong. 

Strong enough to level a building.

And Ragnor was a little afraid that he might right now...

He finally made it to his quarters and screamed Magnus' name, but didn't get a reply. There wasn't any signs of exploding magic, and it was silent. Maybe Magnus was calm, maybe he was in his room, quietly mourning. 

He softly made his way to Magnus' room, knocking. "Magnus?" He called gently, finally opening the door. "Are you in here?" 

He looked around the empty room, dread weighing heavy upon him.

No... he wasn't here...

Ragnor sighed, shaking his head. He ran his hand through his hair, because where the hell else could Magnus be? 

His breath had picked up a bit, and he knew he was panicking, but he just didn't know what to do...

But then a thought ran through Ragnor's head. Maybe Magnus knew his magic was about to break. He didn't take the letter with him, which must mean he had taken off. Like Alec had said. Taken off somewhere where his magic could explode without hurting anyone. 

He must not be in the castle. He must not be in the town either, because there were people there. People he could hurt. 

He must be further out.

Ragnor realized. 

He is in the woods.

Ragnor sighed, quickly taking off.

...

Twigs broke and snapped under Ragnor's feet as he walked cautiously around the trees. It was freezing outside, and he wished he'd been smart enough to bring a jacket. He didn't see any flames or smoke anywhere. But Magnus had to be out here, there was nowhere else he could be. 

"Magnus!" He tried, but got nothing.

He just walked further into the woods, hoping with all his heart, with every fiber of his being, with every ounce of hope he had left, that he would see Magnus out here. He had too. There was just nowhere else he could be. 

"Magnus!" 

Still nothing. 

He just advanced further, deeper, into the woods.

...

Magnus' magic hadn't necessarily exploded yet, but he could feel it, and he knew it was about to, and he couldn't stop it. The grass underneath his feet burned and singed as he paced despite the biting cold, trying to figure out what to do. 

He didn't know what to do. There wasn't anything, not a damn thing he could do. His mother was dead and she made herself dead. No one took her from him, there was no disease to end her life. She took herself from him, and he was so angry. He felt like his head was going to explode. It wasn't fair.

She always told him to never give up, no matter what. She always told him to keep going, to keep fighting even if you felt like you couldn't fight anymore. Was all of that nothing? Did her words mean absolutely nothing? Apparently they did...

Maybe she wanted to plant that in his head so that he wouldn't ever do what she was planning to do. Or was she planning to do it? Or was it something she just outright decided to do for no reason? 

No... that's... that's why his mother was acting weird when he departed for Idris a week ago. She was planning on doing it the entire time. When he slept with her the night before, when they hugged and cried, when she told him that they would see each other again... that was all lies... 

When Magnus he asked, out loud and to her face, if they would see each other again, and she nodded...

She lied...

She lied straight to his face... she never lied to him... right? She was always honest, always sincere...

So why did she...

Why?

Why, why, why, why, why...

He just kept repeating in his head.

Why did she leave him?

Why did she think he would be okay if she were to die?

Why did she believe that she couldn't take it anymore?

Why did she lie?

Why did she lie to his face when he asked her specifically if they would see each other again?

Why?

Why, why, why, why, why...

He felt the itch, the burn under his skin, and he knew he was about to lose it.

But he couldn't focus on that... all he could focus on was why?

"Why..." he mumbled.

"Why?" A little louder.

"Why, why did you do it?" Much louder. 

He looked up to the sky, because he was positive she was up there rather than down there. He took a deep breath, anger surging in his body. 

He yelled.

No, he screamed.

"Why!"

His magic finally let lose, and he felt it physically leave his body, he knew he'd lost it. It was blue, though not necessarily as much of a flame as it usually was. It was like a clear, blue essence that spread throughout the trees around him. 

The magic was loud, and he couldn't hear anything. Not one thing. Not even a bird chirp, or a leave move with the slight wind. All he could hear was rushing, painful rushing in his ears.

He fell to his knees, covering his ears with his hands, bending over himself, as if in pain. He was shivering now, his breath visible in the air.

He screamed again.

Magic came again.

He has to stop. What if someone saw?

But he didn't care, he didn't give a damn. What was the point? The only reason he ever endured so much and fought so hard was for his mother. But now she's dead. She's dead, and there isn't anything he or anyone could do to bring her back. 

...

Ragnor heard Magnus scream, and he saw magic explode up ahead.

He ran.

...

He felt hands on his shoulders, and they felt frantic, as if trying to get his attention, but he couldn't. No...

No...

Get off...

Get off, get off, get off, get off, get off...

His magic came again, a boom in his ears, and he no longer felt the hands.

His eyes were clenched shut, tight, trying to block this all out, and his hands were still over his ears. He'd sunk down to sit on top his knees now, no longer having the strength to hold himself up. 

He felt weak.

And then he felt hands on him again.

"No..." he mumbled.

"Ma...s."

What?

"Mag... it's me, Ra...or"

He could hear whoever it was, but barely, and it was cutting out. Why was it doing that?

Oh, yes, right. There was magic everywhere, and it was so damn loud.

He wanted it to stop. He was desperate for it to stop. And not just the magic, not just the element inside of him begging to destroy. He wanted his heart, this feeling in his chest, to stop. He felt like someone had his heart in a death grip, and he couldn't stop it. He was begging for it to stop.

Please...

"Make it stop..." he gasped out. "I can't... I can't take it... I can't..."

There were tears streaming down his face, and he wished that wasn't happening, but it was, so oh well. 

"Magnus," he heard clearly this time. It was deep, baritone, calm. It had an accent, a British one.

Ragnor...

"Ragnor..." he whispered.

"Yes, my friend. Yes, I'm here." He felt Ragnor's hands try to pry his own from his ears, but Magnus didn't want to. He needed to block this out.

Whatever this was...

Magic...

Monster...

Monster, monster, monster, monster, monster...

Loud, loud, loud, loud, loud...

Noise, noise, noise, noise, noise...

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain...

"Please... make it stop, I can't make it stop." He pleaded. He shook his head, still not taking his hands away, and his eyes still clenched shut. Sweat was running down the sides of his face.

"You can, Magnus. You just need to breathe."

Magnus just shook his head. "No... I can't..."

"Yes, you can," he heard Ragnor shift on the ground where they were. His fingers were still wrapped around his wrists, but he wasn't trying to force his hands away. "Feel the ground beneath you, Magnus. Know that there is a ground beneath you. Know that there is wind, and air, and life around you."

Magnus already knew that, and yet his magic wasn't stopping. It was swirling inside of him, begging to rip him apart and become free. 

Ragnor's soft, though sad, voice spoke again. "Think about pulling the magic back into you, not suppressing it deep inside you. Just gently pull it back in you." 

Magnus thought about just that, and surprisingly enough, it was working, even though just barely. He thought about it harder, but then his magic swirled again, and he whimpered, slouching more than he was. "I can't... it's not working."

"You're thinking about it too hard, Magnus. Just know that it's instinct for you to pull your magic back inside you, don't try to force it." His hands tried to tug Magnus' hands away again, but not viciously.

Ragnor was so gentle with Magnus, and right now, Magnus hated that. He wanted Ragnor to be vicious with him. He wanted him to show no mercy. He wanted Ragnor to tear him apart along with the magic. 

He deserved it...

He wasn't strong enough to keep his mother okay... and now she's dead...

"Don't think about that, Magnus, just focus on this, right here." Ragnor said. He must have been able to tell he was thinking about his mother. Why did Ragnor have to know everything? "Pull it back in you, Magnus, you can do it. Just stay calm."

Magnus' hitched breathing seemed to have calmed ever so slightly. He thought about what Ragnor said, pulling, but not forcing. Pulling, but not forcing. Pulling, but not forcing...

He took a deep breath as the noise went away, and the magic inside him was calm again. He slowly took his hands away, Ragnor helping him guide his palms from his ears. He hesitantly brought his head up, opening his eyes. The trees were blown back, bent to nearly touch the ground. They were singed, but not on fire.

And there Ragnor was, smiling gently at him. Always smiling. "See," Ragnor said. "I knew you could do it."

Magnus didn't smile, didn't talk, didn't breathe. 

He just let out a long, held breath, and fell in Ragnor's arms, darkness taking over his vision.

...

Ragnor sighed as he pulled Magnus into his arms, standing up, holding the younger warlock bridal style. He looked down at him, seeing himself in the boy. 

Ragnor remembered when he couldn't control his powers. When he would panic because he felt the magic under his skin, wanting to get out. When he would run away, afraid to hurt someone, but always knowing that his parents would come find him.

That's the difference between Magnus and Ragnor. Ragnor's parents didn't care that he had magic, it didn't change the undying love they held for him. He was never beaten, he was never almost killed because of who he was. 

He was hugged. He was kissed gently on the head. He was given his favorite snack when he was down. He always had food. He always had warmth, and clothes, and a nice place to stay.

No matter what, his parents always loved him, and he always had what he needed.

Magnus... Magnus on the other hand. Magnus would so much as spark a flame to his fingers, and his step-father would get angry, and hit him. He would have to stand idly by while his mother was beaten then, because he was so broken he couldn't move. 

They never had food, only stale bread. They didn't have many clothes. Ragnor saw Magnus wear the same four shirts a week. They didn't have warmth in their tiny cottage when it was cold, and it has been cold lately. Freezing actually.

Ragnor seemed to remember just how cold it was right now, and began shivering. Magnus had been shivering since he found him, but now he was trembling from the cold. 

He had to get them back to the castle. 

...

Ragnor walked through the doors to their chambers, shivering, teeth chattering. He walked towards his own cot that just sat out where he made his potions, and gently lay the trembling warlock onto it. He rubbed his hands together, breathing hot air into them. He went towards the little fire pit they had, and a spell graced his lips. The fire immediately conjured from the pit.

He smiled, moving the pit closer to Magnus, who was still sleeping. 

Ragnor wasn't shocked when Magnus fell unconscious. When that much magic is used in that short amount of time, not to mention his constantly trying to fight it, it's exhausting. 

He moved a chair next to the cot, and took a seat. The fire wasn't seeming to have any affect on Magnus, so Ragnor used a spell to calm the cold in Magnus, replacing it with warmth.

Magnus' shivering stopped, and he relaxed onto the cot, his face of pain replaced with comfort. His breathing evened out, and the chattering of his teeth ceased. 

Ragnor knew Magnus wasn't going to wake anytime soon, so he just slouched down into the chair, and fell asleep himself.

They had a long day ahead of them.


	7. Make It Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short, and it's meant to be. 
> 
> It's more about Magnus' internal thinking and emotions about the whole ordeal, AND it's the set up chapter for MALEC!!
> 
> Also, there are trigger warnings here too, please read them so I know you'll be okay.
> 
> Trigger warnings for this chapter: panic attack, suicide, self hate

Magnus was thrashing wildly when Ragnor came to, though not by his own doing. Magnus was whimpering, begging, pleading, but what Magnus was begging for, Ragnor didn't know. It broke his heart to see. 

Magnus was glistening in sweat, and Ragnor felt how sweaty he was when he put his hands on his shoulders to shake him awake. "Magnus, wake up." He tried.

Magnus just thrashed harder, whipping his head side to side. "Please..." he whimpered.

Ragnor shook harder. "Magnus, wake up, it's just a dream." Still nothing. When Magnus didn't wake on the third attempt, Ragnor decided to use magic. He put his hands on the sides of Magnus' face, and spoke a spell of waking. 

Magnus shot up, and as he did so, many of Ragnor's empty, glass vials shattered into tiny pieces. Magnus was gasping, looking around frantically, flinching when the glass broke. He looked at Ragnor apologetically. "I'm... I am so..." he couldn't even finish, he couldn't breathe. 

"Magnus, calm down. Breathe," Ragnor tired to push Magnus back down onto the bed, but Magnus just grabbed the older man's wrist, and suddenly, his magic was working again.

Ragnor hissed as Magnus' magic burned the skin of his wrists, clenching his eyes shut against the pain. "Magnus, stop it." Magnus' eyes were wide, still stuck in his dream even though he was awake. His breathing was heavy, quick, and Ragnor realized he was having a panic episode. "Magnus, come on, focus." 

The burning of his wrists intensified, and he couldn't help but cry out at the pain. "'Magnus! Focus!"

Magnus was shaking his head, hands glowing with blue flames at Ragnor's wrists. Ragnor tried to pull his hands away, but Magnus was stronger. 

The pain got worse, and Ragnor could see his skin blackening under Magnus' fingers. "Magnus, wake up! Magnus!"

Suddenly, Magnus' wide eyes flickered, as if waking up from whatever it was he saw, and he looked down at Ragnor's wrists in his hands, and saw what he was doing.

If Ragnor thought Magnus was panicking back in the woods, it was nothing compared to what he was seeing now. Such fear shining in the younger warlock's eyes. 

Magnus jerked his hands back, letting Ragnor free, and Ragnor let out a breath through his teeth, and immediately his magic began reacting. The burnt skin was clearing back to his flesh color, and the pink burns were vanishing.

Magnus stood up from the bed, and he was apologizing over and over, and he had his hands over his ears again, pacing, but if it was because his magic was coming out again, or if he was just tired of everything around him, Ragnor couldn't be sure. 

Ragnor stood up from his chair then, wrists completely healed, and tried to speak to Magnus, to get him to understand it was an accident and it was nothing. He even tried showing Magnus his wrists, showing him that he was fine, that he was okay. 

But Magnus just screamed, pulling at his hair, repeating the word no, falling to his knees. Ragnor watched the break down with a heavy heart. 

Magnus pulled at his hair harder, and Ragnor ran to him, kneeling down to try to pry the tearing hands away. "Magnus, stop it. It's okay, I am okay. It's nothing."

But Magnus wouldn't take his hands away, instead just hit his head, over and over. "Monster... monster... monster..."

Ragnor was shaking his head, desperate. "No, Magnus. You're not a monster. You're human. You're so incredibly, beautifully human." Ragnor pulled the damaged boy into his arms, squeezing him, rubbing his hands on his back in comforting circles. "You're mother did not leave because of you, Magnus, she left because of everything but you."

"No, no, no, no, no..."

"Magnus, please, look at me." Ragnor pleaded.

"I want this to stop, Ragnor..." When Magnus looked up, his face was red, and his eyes were puffy, and tears were streaming down his face like a waterfall. "This... this thing, this feeling in my chest, please, make it stop."

Ragnor just shook his head, looking down at Magnus with such sadness in his eyes, that Magnus saw then and here that Ragnor would do no such thing. "I can't, Magnus."

"I hate magic! I hate this! Because it can do all the damn damage it wants in this disgusting world, but it can't end this! It could never end this pain! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!" Magnus was screaming, hitting his head again.

Ragnor just looked at Magnus, saw the breaking down of such a beautiful soul, and felt a tear come to his face. He hadn't cried in years, but this boy just brought it out in him. "Magnus, I'm..."

What?

Sorry? What good is sorry going to do? It won't bring Magnus' mother back. It won't reverse time and change the events that have unfolded. Nothing can change what had happened here today, not even magic. 

And a sorry definitely isn't going to help anybody.

Ragnor just held the weeping boy in his arms, as he cried too.

...

*A WEEK LATER* 

It was Magnus' first day back to work as being Alexander's servant, and he felt like he was going to die. He felt like his heart was going to break. Because there he was going to be, working and working, and living, while his mother was being prepared for a funeral that Magnus wasn't even sure if he could go to.

He hadn't made it to Alexander's quarters yet, it was only eight o'clock in the morning. He always woke Alec up around ten. But he didn't get any sleep last night, so he decided to get up early and make some breakfast for him and Ragnor.

Ragnor...

Ragnor had been very supportive of Magnus for the past week. He hasn't asked for how he was feeling, or asked for anything. He wasn't ready for any of that. Ragnor would just silently give him comfort through a look of sympathy mixed with strength. He would make Magnus stronger by just holding him when he would break down. And he had broken down a lot this week.

Every time he did, his magic would swirl around inside of him, and it would get loud, and Ragnor would calm him down. He always knew how to calm him down. He would just tell him what he told him the woods. Pull it back in, but don't force. 

And it would work. It would work every time. 

Then, when his magic was quiet and pulled back inside himself, but not forced, Ragnor would just pull him into his arms and allow Magnus to cry.

One time, this week, Magnus had begged again to make the pain stop. And he still wished for the pain to stop. He wanted this weight in his chest to go away, he wanted this pain in his heart to just end.

He wanted it to end...

But not like that. Not like his mother. Never, ever, would he do like his mother has done. Because he now knows first hand what it's like to he left behind when someone you love dies. And not by natural causes. But by yourself. 

By suicide.

Magnus had gotten another letter a little earlier in the week regarding his mother. Informing him of the date for the funeral, which was next Wednesday, and telling him everything he needed to know about her suicide.

She had hanged herself.

She had taken a rope, hung it over the ceiling, tied the noose, and hanged herself. 

He couldn't help but think about how he could easily die that way, but not of his own doing. But by the king, because he had magic.

He hated this... he hated it and he wanted it to stop, he needed it to stop.

He couldn't take this.

He felt like he couldn't endure this. This was something he could never endure. 

But he wasn't done enduring, and he would never be done enduring. 

Because you bear what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all.

He tried to quit thinking about it as he gathered some oats into a bowl and got some water in a pot, hanging it over the fire pit. 

He waited for the water to boil, and he just watched the pot, and he knew that probably wasn't a good idea. 

A watched pot never boils.

And a pot that never boils just allows more time for the mind to wander and think. 

He hated to think lately. 

He turned around, seeing Ragnor sleeping on his cot. His chest was rising and falling peacefully, and he wondered what it was like to sleep without nightmares or panic attacks following after. 

He bet it was nice. To not feel tired all the time, to feel well rested. He had accepted a long time ago that that was something he would never get the privilege to feel well rested.

He decided to wake Ragnor up, because the water was finally boiling, and all they had to do was put the water in the oats bowl. 

He took slow, gentle steps towards the cot, and leaned down to shake Ragnor softly. "Ragnor," he whispered.

Ragnor immediately shot up, looking at Magnus with concern shining in his eyes. "Are you alright?" Ragnor asked.

Wow, Magnus thought. Ragnor's first instinct when shaken awake was to think it was Magnus needing assistance because he was having a mental breakdown. 

It was sweet, and he was surprised to know that he wasn't angry at the display.

Magnus nodded. "Yes, I'm okay. I just made breakfast." He winced at how detached he sounded.

Ragnor furrowed his brows. "What time is it?" He asked.

Magnus thought about it. "It's nearly eight thirty."

Ragnor nodded, pushing the covers of off his green pajama pant legs, and Magnus smiled at it. Always wearing green. 

Ragnor swung his legs over the edge, rubbing his eyes to wake up. "Wow," he said. "I feel like I haven't slept in days."

Ragnor realized what he said, and looked up at Magnus with a look of guilt. 

Magnus looked down, because he was right. He hadn't slept in days. Magnus usually woke up in the night screaming, and Ragnor would pull him into a hug, shushing him, pulling him back into reality. "I'm sorry," Magnus said.

Ragnor shook his head, sighing. "No, I'm sorry. It doesn't matter that I haven't slept. As long as you're okay."

Magnus blinked at the statement, but didn't continue on the subject. "I made breakfast." He said again.

Ragnor stood up, stretching. "What are you doing up so early?"

Magnus shrugged. "I wake Alec up at ten."

Ragnor turned his head on him quickly. He looked very worried. "What?"

Magnus just shrugged again. "I need to get back to work."

"Magnus," Ragnor started. "Alec knows you need time. I've spoken to him, he knows of your... condition."

Magnus furrowed his brow. "My condition?"

Ragnor just sighed. "He knows you're emotionally unstable right now, and he understands if you don't come back to work for a while."

"I'm not unstable," Magnus bit out. "I'm just... just..." he looked down, unsure of what to say.

He was what? 

Exactly...

He was nothing. He saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. He saw so much, heard so much, and felt so much, but it was nothing. He didn't know how to explain it.

He was just...

"Nothing..." he mumbled.

Ragnor looked ready for another episode, but Magnus just shook the thoughts away, heading towards the oats. He poured the cooled down, but still warm, water into the separated bowls of oats. He gave Ragnor his bowl, and they sat at the table.

It was quiet, but it wasn't awkward. It was comforting. The silence that Ragnor had was telling Magnus that he didn't have to talk. That he didn't have to explain anything. 

But he did ask. He had to ask.

"Are you sure, Magnus?" Ragnor asked.

Magnus looked up from his bowl. "What?"

"Are you sure you're ready to go back to work. Alec will understand, Magnus-"

"I know that," Magnus snapped. He took a deep breath, shaking his head again. "Sorry," he said.

Ragnor shook his head that time. "Don't apologize. I get it."

Magnus just nodded, taking another bite of his food. 

It was silent again.

And it was silent even after they finished their food. It was silent while Ragnor washed the dishes in the bin. It was silent while Magnus changed into his clothes for the day. And it was silent until Magnus was headed towards the door.

"Magnus," Ragnor called.

Magnus turned around, looking expectantly at Ragnor from the bin of dishes. "Yes?"

Ragnor licked his lips. "Please, be careful, my friend."

Magnus looked at Ragnor for a moment, then nodded, heading towards Alexander's quarters. 

...

The walk to Alexander's quarters were some what distant, and he couldn't quiet think straight. But he was able to get his bearings as he made it to the prince's room, opening the door. 

Alec was sleeping peacefully like Ragnor was this morning, and he felt envious once again. He wished he could sleep that peacefully.

He pushed those thoughts away again, walking towards the curtains and pulling them open. He heard Alec stir, but he didn't wake. Magnus went to Alec then, and shook his gently. "Wake up, my lord," he said, but he sounded so dead. 

Alexander moved to face the servant waking him up, and Magnus knew he had a temporary servant until Magnus came back. So Alec wasn't shocked to be woken up. 

But when his eyes fluttered open and saw the young servant he so longed to see for a week now, he shot up, eyes wide. "Magnus?" He breathed out. 

Magnus didn't say anything. And he didn't smile. He just looked at Alexander, his gaze distant. "Yes," he said. "I'm back to work, my lord. I'm sorry for my absence."

Alec stood up from the bed quickly, and Magnus took notice of his bare chest. He'd seen it before, but he hadn't seen it for a week now, and he longed to see Alexander. 

"Don't apologize, Magnus. Oh, my god, please don't do that." Alec pleaded, and he was suddenly in the prince's arm, being held tight by him. Magnus was shocked, unsure of what to do, so he didn't do anything. He didn't move, didn't hug back, didn't say anything. 

Alec let him go, and Magnus just gave him a thankful look before heading towards the armoire to grab Alec some clothes for the day. He opened it, reaching in to grab a black tunic and some black pants to match. He grabbed the black boots sitting beside the armoire and laid them next to Alec's bed. Then he lay the outfit out nicely on display. 

"Come here," Magnus said, and Alec obliged. Magnus helped get the tunic on Alexander, and then Alec took his pants off, fully capable of putting them on by himself. 

Alec was looking down at Magnus as he began tying some the strings on his tunic near the chest. Magnus glanced up at the staring Alec. He blinked, swallowing. He tried to ignore the longing stare in Alexander's eyes, but he couldn't. But he needed too. 

At first, he wanted something to develop between the two, but now... Magnus needed to keep his distance. He was just going to hurt Alec and get hurt in the process as well. And he was done getting hurt. 

"Magnus," Alec whispered, and Magnus felt his breath touch his cheek. Their noses were almost touching, and they just stared at each other, Magnus' hands no longer tying. 

But then he realized what his heart was feeling, and realized the look in Alec's eyes was lust.

Magnus tied quicker then, and took a step back from the prince. His heart was pounding because he wanted to kiss Alec then. He almost leaned in, and he could have sworn he saw Alec lean as well. But this couldn't happen. Alec was the prince, and Magnus was the servant.

Alec was the innocent, and Magnus was the monster.

He couldn't get Alec caught up in everything going on his life right now. 

"If there is nothing else, my lord..." Magnus whispered. His voice was barely audible. He didn't wait for any reply, he was already nearly out the door.

"Magnus wait," Alec's voice called after him.

But he was too late.

Magnus was already half way down the hall outside his room.


	8. Deciding of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Back with chapter 8!
> 
> But trigger warnings here. So please read them before continuing on, because I truly love you and understand the triggering of feelings.
> 
> Triggers for chapter: self hate, suicide, deciding of suicide, thoughts of suicide

Magnus didn't really know exactly where he was going, he just knew he had to get as far away from Alec as possible. Not because he was angry, or didn't like him. It was because of the opposite of that. He was thankful for someone who cared for him, but he couldn't get Alec mixed up in anything to do with his life. 

Alec was so young, and so innocent, it just wasn't fair for him to get mixed up in all of this. He was heir to the throne and had respect from the people, he wasn't going to risk Alec's reputation for his happiness. 

Magnus wasn't worth it.

Nothing was worth it.

All he could think about anymore was his mother... hanging from the ceiling, and swaying... and dead.

Dead...

His mother was dead... 

Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead... 

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand walking around the earth knowing that his mother never would again. He couldn't stand knowing that he would get to live out his life until death, while his mother was six feet under. 

Well, she wasn't right now. She was being prepared for her funeral.

Funeral...

It sounds weird. He always thought about having his mother with him for decades more to come. And he knew he would lose her, but he thought he would lose her to old age... not... not this...

He just couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand to know about it, think about it, dream about it... he just... 

God... he could not stand it...

It was killing him... he felt this heaviness in his chest that was weighing him down to the ground. A heaviness he wanted gone. A heaviness he wanted to be lifted. A painful heaviness he just didn't want anymore.

And it made him so damn frustrated, because he couldn't stop it. He couldn't use any magic to make it go away. There was no remedy, or potion, or spell to make this end; to make this stop. 

And he thought, for a second, that maybe Alexander could make that stop; could take this away. For a split second, he felt this heat between them while tying that shirt. But he felt it too strongly and he got scared, and he ran. 

He ran like a child. 

Because it scared the shit out of him. It scared him that he felt this way. Because he'd never felt this way. Because when he looked at Alec he felt something within him that he didn't want to feel. Because to feel something like that would mean to invite Alec in to feel the same thing. And to invite Alec in to feel the same thing, would be to invite Alec into his life. 

Invite him into his soul. And he couldn't do that. Not to someone so innocent and pure. Not to someone like Alexander. 

He didn't know how, but somehow he had made it to Isabelle's door, and he knocked, not really meaning to, but doing it out of instinct anyways.

It wasn't Isabelle who answered. It was her servant, Clary. Her red hair was pulled up into a messy bun, but it was still really cute. She had little curls swinging down the sides by her ears, and she had a look of shock on her face. As if confused at the sight of him.

Although, he supposed he shouldn't be surprised. He'd been hauled up in his room, having mental breakdowns for the past week. 

No one but Ragnor had seen him for seven days.

"Magnus?" She breathed out, as if in awe. Magnus just nodded. Clary seemed to notice his distress, and tilted her head to the side. "Are you okay?"

"Clary, who is it?" Someone called from inside the room, and Magnus saw Isabelle emerge from the depths of her bedroom, and she was now the one with the look of shock on her features. "Magnus?" 

Again, he just nodded. 

Isabelle breathed out an exhalation of something, maybe relief, but Magnus couldn't be sure. She pushed past Clary gently, and pulled Magnus into a hug. "Are you alright?" She asked, squeezing tighter.

Magnus didn't move, much like he did with Alec. 

What was he doing here? What was he doing trying to ruin their lives with his? He was dangerous. He was destructive. He burned everything he touched, he destroyed the ground that they all walked on.

He shouldn't be here. 

He shouldn't...

What was he doing?

He pushed out of Isabelle's embrace, looking up at her confused. She mimicked him. "Magnus," she said, but Magnus interrupted her immediately.

"I'm sorry," he said, and his voice cracked. "I... I don't know what I'm doing here..."

Isabelle and Clary exchanged nervous glances at his dazed behavior, but Magnus was already walking away. Isabelle tried to grab him, but Magnus whirled around, frightened. "Please..." he said, taking deep breaths. "I'm sorry... I don't know... I'm..." he couldn't say anything. 

What the hell was he doing?

"I need to go. I'm sorry..."

"Magnus," Clary called. "Wait, please." 

But Magnus was already halfway down the hall.

And Clary wasn't having it.

Isabelle was still standing at her door, but Clary had followed him to the end of the corridor, whirled him around, and pulled him into a hug. 

He was really getting tired of all the hugs. But he wasn't going to push her away like he'd done Isabelle. He'd seen the look of hurt on her face, and he didn't want to do that again to anyone.

But all he did was hurt. And he knew Clary would only get hurt if he allowed this hug to continue. 

He gently pulled away, and Clary just lay her hands on her shoulders, making him look her in the eye. "Look at me, Magnus." Magnus brought his head up slowly, not sure what to do. Clary sounded final. "Everything will be okay."

No it won't. She's dead... his mother was dead. There was nothing in this world that could bring her back, and there was nothing in this world that could take away the pain.

Nothing...

He didn't notice he was shaking his head until Clary moved her hands to the side of his face. "Yes, Magnus, it will. Everything will be okay. I promise."

"Why...?" He asked, dazed. "Why do people keep saying that?"

She furrowed her brows. "That everything will be okay?"

Magnus shook his head, feeling tears well in his eyes, but refusing to let any fall. "No. That you promise. Stop saying that, no one can know that."

"But I do, Magnus-"

"No, you don't. That's what-" he cut himself off, looking at Clary and taking a deep breath before continuing. "That's what my mother said. She promised me that we would see each other again before I departed for this kingdom. But she lied. She lied to me, and dammit!" 

He stopped, because he knew his voice was rising, and he could feel the itch under his fingers, and he knew he needed to leave.

Now.

"I need to go," he said, turning away and walking further down the hall.

"Wait," Clary tried, but he had already turned the corner.

...

He didn't know where he was supposed to go. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Go to Ragnor, and let him brag about how he was right? About how he wasn't ready to go back to work?

No... that wasn't fair. Maybe Ragnor wouldn't brag. Maybe he just needed to eat some lunch. It was already nearing eleven, so why not?

He turned around, knowing this wasn't the way to Ragnor's chambers, taking cautious steps. He didn't know why he was taking cautious steps. He just felt like he needed to be cautious all the time. That he needed to be careful to make sure nothing became ruined in his wake.

He hated feeling like this. He hated feeling like he couldn't really... survive...

He hated feeling like... like...

Dammit, he didn't know. 

Like he wanted to follow his mother. But he swore to never do that. He swore to never take that way out.

But... he didn't swear it to himself. He swore it to his mother. Like she had sworn it to him. And she broke that promise.

She broke that oath.

Maybe he should too.

...

Ragnor was thinking about Magnus as he cut up some carrots to put in the bowl of lettuce next to him. He and Magnus hadn't really eaten much over the past week, and Magnus definitely hadn't eaten anything. Ragnor ate some, but between trying to get some sleep, and waking Magnus from his nightmare induced ones, he didn't have much chance to get some food in his stomach.

He thought, maybe some healthy food would make them feel better; more energized. 

He took some of the carrots he'd cut and put them in the bowl of salad, then he got a tomato that needed cutting, and began on that. 

Most caretakers would be annoyed to have to make the food and do some of the chores, especially along with trying to be a physician of the court, but Ragnor quiet enjoyed it. He liked knowing he had someone to do that stuff for. 

Before Magnus came along, he was beginning to feel a bit lonely. Of course, he had the king and queen and their children, who were just angels compared to them. But nothing was like preparing things for someone you had... feelings for. 

Not feelings like that. But feelings of family. Feelings of belonging. 

Ragnor finally felt like he belonged somewhere. Although he knew he worked here for all these years, he now knew he had a purpose for being here.

That purpose what Magnus. 

Magnus needed some serious help. He was young, abused, uncontrollable with his emotions, then his magic, and now he just lost his mother due to suicide. He didn't know who he was, and much like Ragnor had felt, he didn't know where he belonged.

He had a purpose in this world, Ragnor knew he did. They just had to work together to prove to Magnus that he has that, and he needed to keep trying, keep fighting, and keep enduring. 

He heard the door to the chambers open, and he turned to see Magnus looking glum. Though, he didn't find that shocking. It had only been a week since the whole thing, and situations like this take more than a week to get over. 

No... this was something you never get over. You just have to overcome. 

You have to endure. 

And you have to bear it.

That is all.

"Hello Magnus," Ragnor said, watching Magnus completely ignore him and walk to his room, closing the door behind him.

Ragnor put the knife he was using to cut the vegetables with down onto the cutting board, sighing. He took cautious steps towards Magnus' bedroom, knocking before entering. 

Magnus was on the bed, lying on his stomach, his chin resting on his hands. He was facing the door, so all Ragnor had to do was lean down at the end of the bed to become eye level with Magnus. He tried to see an expression within the boy's face, but he couldn't find anything. 

Which scared him more than seeing a million emotions running through him at once. 

"Magnus," he said. 

Magnus just blinked once.

Ragnor wanted to keep talking, but he wasn't sure what to say. He decided to bring up the one person Magnus seems to have a deep interest in. "How is Alec?" Magnus winced, as if in pain. Ragnor knew then that something had happened between the two. He tilted his head. "What happened, Magnus?" His voice was gentle.

Magnus took a slow, deep breath, and let it out just as lengthy. "Alexander..." he whispered. "He..." Magnus sighed, shaking his head and hiding it in his forearms. 

Ragnor put a hand on his arm. "Magnus, talk to me."

Magnus nodded, sniffling, and bringing his head back up. "I think... I think we had a moment."

Ragnor's forehead creased. "A moment?"

Magnus nodded again. "I think he wanted to kiss me..."

Ragnor gasped ever so slightly. The prince of Idris was indeed interested in a servant. Obviously, he had no problem with it. It shouldn't matter what someone's "rank" was in the social pyramid. As long as two people share a bond with one another, then they should be able to embrace it. But Alec's parents would not be accepting of Alec's sexuality. And they certainly wouldn't accept him dating his serving boy. 

But was Magnus interested in him like that? He supposed he was, after the feast and all the flirting. "And did you?" It took a moment, but Magnus did nod. Ragnor took a deep breath then. "And what happened then?"

Magnus licked his lips. "I got scared and ran away."

Ragnor's shoulders fell in defeat. He was almost hoping they had kissed. There was something great between the two, and Ragnor wished they would encompass it. "Why did you do that?"

Magnus scoffed. "Yeah, like I was going to kiss the prince of Idris."

Ragnor shrugged, as if it was no big deal. "What if you had?"

Magnus was shaking his head. "I can't allow that. I can't, Ragnor."

Ragnor's eyes narrowed. He was finally making some headway in the conversation. "Why not?"

"Because-" Magnus said, but cut himself off, his lips forming in a hard, tight line. He shook his head, and Ragnor could see tears forming in the younger's eyes. "Because I'm just going to interrupt his life." His voice was breaking. "I'm just going to destroy him, Ragnor. I don't want him to get wrapped up in all of this; in me. I'm a danger, Ragnor." Tears had slowly slipped down his cheek now. "I can't disrupt his life like that..."

Ragnor sighed, shaking his head. "You're not a danger, Magnus. You're just young. You're a new warlock born into this world. You can't understand how to control your powers, and yes, sometimes it will backfire on you. But that doesn't make you dangerous. It just shows learning. You're learning, Magnus."

Magnus was still shaking his head. "No, Ragnor, I don't just mean that."

Ragnor frowned. "I don't understand."

"Ragnor, it's not just the element of magic inside me, it's everything inside me. My emotions, my feelings, my depth, what makes me who I am. I am broken..." he cracked out the last sentence subdued. "I don't... I can't let him see me for who I am. Not that I ever could anyways, his father would have my head on a pike."

Ragnor closed his eyes, finally understanding the root of Magnus here. "You are not broken, Magnus. You are not." His voice was final. "And don't try to protest. I cannot deny that you have been through a lot; that you have been through such turmoil that would break anyone else. But you have not been broken by it, Magnus. You have been made stronger by it. You just don't see it yet."

He had hoped that would get a reaction out of Magnus, a flicker in the eyes to show that he thought he was right. But, he didn't get so much as a blink.

Ragnor could tell that Magnus had his mind made up about how he viewed himself. "Magnus, do you want me to leave you alone?"

Magnus closed his eyes, brows furrowing, but the closed lids did not stop the tears from flowing. "I don't know anymore, Ragnor. I don't know anything."

Ragnor just sighed, and he pushed down to be completely seated on the ground, rather than balancing on his feet while kneeling down. He leaned against Magnus' cot, and just sat there. Sat there with him and listened to Magnus cry.

While also giving him a sense of presence; of knowing that someone was there for him.

Because Ragnor wasn't sure he knew that Magnus had people there for him.

...

After Magnus had his little moment and eaten the salad Ragnor had prepared, he'd decided to go back to Alec's chambers and find out how he was doing. He should not have left him in the first place, but everything was happening so fast, too fast, and he didn't know what to do, so he just ran. 

It wasn't fair to Alec. It wasn't fair to lead him on with all of his flirting, and winking, but it was hard when someone that beautiful was standing in front of you; someone that perfect. 

He shook the thoughts away as he entered Alec's room. "My lord?" He called.

Immediately, Alec poked his head from a wall that gave slight separation between the door entryway and the bedroom. "Magnus," he said. He was blushing. 

Magnus found it adorable.

"My lord," he said, bowing. "I wanted to apologize for running out earlier. It wasn't fair, and it was uncalled for. I have a job to do, and I shouldn't have left you alone to fend for your own." He realized what he just said, and shook his head. "Not that you couldn't fend for yourself, sorry, that wasn't what I meant, I just meant..." Alec was taking steps closer to him. "I just meant..." he repeated, and suddenly Alec was right there, and he wanted to touch him, but he couldn't, and it was killing him.

He took a step away from the prince, and Alec looked hurt, but didn't back down. "Magnus," he said, much like he'd done hours ago. "It's me who should apologize. I made advances towards you without considering the fact that maybe you didn't feel the same way."

Magnus' head shot up to look at him at that. "Wait, no," he started, and Alec blinked. "It's not that I don't... don't feel that way. I do... I do feel something. But..." he shook his head, frustrated. He grunted, turning away. "I can't find my damn words."

Alec didn't take another step towards him, he just continued to stare at Magnus' back. "It's okay, I understand. I stutter all the time."

Magnus smiled, chuckling. "I've noticed," he said. He hadn't laughed even the slightest bit for a while now. 

"Just tell me what you want to say, Magnus. Be honest. Don't think about my rank or anything, just tell me," Alec said, taking a deep breath. "Do you feel the way I do?"

Magnus breathed in, then out. Then again. Then one more time. He turned back to face Alec. "Yes," he said. 

Alec nodded, looking as though he didn't know what to say. "I see."

Magnus looked down then, blinking. He bit his lip, hard, and he tasted blood. He stopped, knowing Alec would notice if he were to make it worse. He looked back up, seeing a very hurt Alec. "Alexander," he breathed out. "It's not that I don't want anything to happen. Believe me, I do. But... I am your servant. You're my prince, you're heir to the throne of the kingdom of Idris. It doesn't fit, we don't fit." He paused, thinking about his next sentence carefully.

"It can't happen," he finished, voice final. It wasn't a lie.

But he left out all of the bits about his destructive self. 

Alec nodded, but he looked wounded. "I understand," he said. 

"I'm sorry," Magnus said. "I really am."

Alec nodded again. "Don't be," he said. "I hate that though."

"Hate what?" Magnus asked.

"I hate how my title allows people to define me."

Magnus was shaking his head, desperate. "No, Alexander, that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant at all. It's just..." he looked down again, breathing. "It's just that I can't allow myself to be with someone like you."

"Like me?" Alec asked, voice hurt.

Magnus looked up again. "Yes, like you. Someone so perfect. Someone so innocent to the evils of this world."

Alec frowned. "Are you implying that you think you're an evil to this world?" Magnus stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. He was lying, and he could see that Alec knew that, but because of the angel that he was, he didn't mention anything. Alec sighed. "I only have one request, though, Magnus."

Magnus nodded. "Anything, my lord."

Alec swallowed, licking his lips. "I want you to continue being my servant."

Magnus gasped slightly, shocked that Alec would still want him around him after how much he'd just hurt him. But he quickly got over his surprise, nodding. "Yes, Alexander."

Alec smiled, nodding. "Thank you," Alec said. 

...

When it began to get dark, Magnus had insisted he prepare Alec for bed, and Alec didn't protest. He was tired after the days work. 

Magnus was now in his own cot, trying to get some rest, but knowing he probably wouldn't get any. He turned to his side, trying to block the thoughts of his mother out of his head.

He couldn't.

He never would.

Every time he closed his eyes, he pictured his mother hanging from a ceiling. He pictured her being lowered into the ground. He pictured himself visiting her grave every once and a while.

He hated picturing that.

He was going to end it. He was...

He couldn't take it. He just had to say goodbye. He had to say goodbye to Ragnor, then Isabelle, and Clary, and Alexander. 

He needed to see them one last time. And he would. He would get through tomorrow like any other day, and by nighttime, he was going to follow his mother.

"Magnus..." 

Magnus sat up, confused. That wasn't Ragnor. That was a women's voice. A soft, light voice. A welcoming voice.

"Magnus..." 

He shook his head, sure he was hallucinating or something, but when he heard it again, he stood up from his bed. 

It sounded like it was coming from under his cot. He leaned down to look, but saw nothing.

"Magnus..."

Again, and yes, it was definitely down there. 

He looked back at his bed, then the door. 

He decided to find the voice.


	9. Destined for Greatness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would have this updated BEFORE the weekend, but yesterday got hectic. But better later than never!
> 
> This chapter is a lot happier towards the end, but still warnings.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: suicide, thoughts of self hate

Getting past the sleeping Ragnor was easier than expected. It was strange how much of a deep sleeper he was, but when Magnus had waken him for breakfast that morning, he shot up. Ragnor was always unpredictable like that though, he supposed. 

Now he just had to avoid the guards making sure everyone was in their chambers. There was a curfew, which Magnus found strange. Not even his village had a curfew. 

But that didn't matter anymore. He was never going back. Tomorrow night he wouldn't be going anywhere anymore. 

And he wasn't afraid. Because he knew he would see his mother again.

That's all he wanted.

He walked the halls, making sure to keep his feet move with quiet footsteps. He saw light, a torch lighting up the hall, and it was getting closer; a guard. He turned the corner quickly, pushing himself against it, waiting for the guard to pass.

When there was no longer any sight of light, he advanced forward, taking his original path from before.

"Magnus..."

There it was again.

He shook his head, because even though he needed to hear where exactly where he was going, it was annoying.

"Magnus..."

"I'm coming," Magnus whispered to himself, voice ringing with annoyance.

He was just about to continue forwards, but then he saw a set of stairs heading down to below the castle. He stopped, looking down. He wasn't a big fan of the dark. 

He swallowed, looking side to side to make sure there were no guards, and conjured light to his fingertips. He used his magic as a light as he took each step slowly.

One at a time.

"Magnus..."

It was such a soft voice. Magnus found that he quiet liked it. Which was strange. And the voice wasn't familiar either.

For a moment, when he first heard it, he worried maybe he had gone insane, and was hearing his mother. But the voice wasn't as soft as hers, not as high pitched. It was more quiet.

And he would never hear it again.

Unless you can communicate with people wherever it was he was going. Because wherever he was going, was where his mother was. 

He just couldn't stand not seeing her. He needed to see her.

He needed her...

He couldn't go on without her.

He couldn't endure without her.

"Magnus..." 

He turned a left; he felt compelled too. The voice was getting closer.

He saw what looked like a stone room, and it was small. There was a door, but it was steel, and Magnus felt like he was in a cell. He could see light coming from it; orange and bright. Torches must be lighting the room. He took the magic away from his fingers.

He walked in, and what he saw amazed him. 

There was a women, a beautiful women. She was lean, and tall. She had straight, snow white hair, and it was long. It was touching her lower back. Her eyes were a light blue. She was wearing a short white dress that showed her shoulders. But none of this was what amazed Magnus.

No... 

What amazed Magnus was that her skin was bright blue.

"Hello Magnus," she purred, smiling. Her teeth were very white compared to her blue lips.

"Um," Magnus mumbled. He swallowed. "Hi?"

She chuckled. "How are you?"

Magnus blinked. Why was she talking to him as if she'd seen him every day and spoke casually with him? "What?"

She just chuckled again. "I said, how are you?"

Magnus felt a surge of anger. "Yeah, I'm just great," he snapped out. "Dead mothers usually bring me tears of joy."

Her smile faltered ever so slightly, but it was still there. "Touché," was all she said.

Magnus sighed. "Who are you?"

The blue women smiled wider. "Excuse my rudeness. My name is Catarina Loss."

Magnus scoffed. "Okay, Catarina Loss," he said mockingly. "What do you want?"

Catarina made a playful hurt face. "You sure are rude when meeting new people."

Magnus shook his head. "No, I'm rude to people who call me to some dungeon looking room from my own bedroom. And when I'm trying to get rest for once in my life."

Catarina's smile fell immediately, replaced by a grave look. "I know what you plan to do."

Magnus stopped, looking at her. He narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

She made a face as if to say 'don't play dumb'. "Come now, Magnus."

Magnus looked away, unsure of what to do. "What do you know about it?" He mumbled.

"I know you feel like you can't go on without your mother, and I know she killed herself just a week ago."

He snapped his head up. "How do you know that?" His voice was dangerous.

"Because I know you, High Warlock."

Magnus shook his head, frustrated. "What?"

"I know you plan to follow her, and I know you plan to do it tomorrow night," she said.

"Yeah," Magnus finally said, though he sounded angry. "What is it to you?"

She laughed. "Oh, it means a lot to me."

"You don't even know me," he bit.

She laughed again. "Didn't we just clarify that I did?"

Magnus took a deep breath, clenching his teeth. "But you don't," he gritted out. 

She nodded. "But I do," she said.

Magnus sighed, giving up. "What do you want?"

She smiled. "It's not a deal of want, it's a deal of need."

"I don't understand."

"You, High Warlock, are destined for greatness. You, along with Alexander Lightwood, will bring this kingdom back to its original glory." 

"What?" He asked, bewildered. "How do you know Alexander?"

"I know more than you could possibly know," she said. "But I think you get that, now." She smiled again.

Magnus blinked. "I..." he didn't know what to say.

"High Warlock, you and Alexander Lightwood have a destiny together."

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

She tilted her head. "What?"

"High Warlock, that's not my name, nor is it my title."

"Oh, but it is," she hummed.

"No, my name is Magnus, it always has been." Sarcasm rang in his voice.

She chuckled. "That's the only name you've known."

"What?" His head was spinning.

"The prophecy does not lie. The Prince of Idris, and his... friend," that word sounded mischievous, she was smirking. "Will work together to bring to the kingdom back to light." 

He was shaking his head. "No, you must mean someone else. I'm not... any High Warlock, I'm nobody. I can't even control my magic when my emotions are unstable."

"Do you doubt?"

He shook his head. "I do not doubt Alexander, but I am not destined for anything."

"You, High Warlock, is what will guide the prince."

He closed his eyes, trying to block this all out. "No, I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong person."

"You are everything this kingdom needs," she said.

"I'm not anything," Magnus raised his voice. "I'm nothing. I'm not anything important."

She made a face of sympathy. "You truly think so low of yourself, don't you?"

Magnus just swallowed, shrugging. "I won't be here after tomorrow anyways..."

She nodded. "Yes, so I have discovered," she was quiet, as if speaking to herself. "I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

"Why not? Who will care anyways?"

"What about Ragnor Fell?" 

Magnus stopped, looking away. He stared down at his feet. "I... I wasn't going to just leave without saying goodbye..."

"Do you think that will matter to him?" She asked.

Magnus shrugged.

"Think about how you feel now, Bane. Think about how you feel now, knowing your mother is dead," she paused, watching emotions flash through Magnus' eyes. "Now think about Ragnor, and Alexander, and Isabelle, Clary..." 

Magnus felt tears welling in his eyes. 

"Do you want them to feel what you do?"

He let the question settle in, and he felt one tear slide down his cheek. He looked up from his feet, but Catarina was gone. 

"Wait!" He yelled. "Wait, no, come back. I need to know more!"

Silence.

His voice just echoed the room. 

He fell to his knees, unsure of what to do now.

...

Magnus didn't know how, but he had woken up in his bed, but the events of the night before were clear in his head. 

Not a dream then...

But he didn't remember coming back to bed. He remembered he fell onto his knees, confused. And he remembered he sat there for quiet a while. But that's it. He didn't think he fell asleep. And if he did, how did he get back here?

Maybe he just wasn't thinking while coming back. Well, no he was thinking, just not about sleeping. 

No, he was thinking about what the blue women, Catarina Loss, said. How could he be destined for anything good? He didn't have any ounce of goodness in him. He was a monster, a murderer.

He killed his own step-father.

And he killed her.

Viessa Bane. Magnus Bane's mother. 

Dead.

Because he left her alone to deal with everything and she couldn't take it so she ended it, and he wasn't there to stop it. When he should have been. 

He should have been, he should have been, he should have been, he should have been, he should have been...

"Magnus," Ragnor called from the kitchen. "Are you awake?"

Magnus swallowed, letting it go for now. He cleared his throat. "Hm, yeah," he called back.

"Come get breakfast!"

"Okay, be there in a second." 

He really didn't feel like eating. 

He sat up in bed, pushing his legs across to touch the floor. He rested his head in his hands for while, elbows on his knees to hold him up. 

He tried to block the women's words out of his head, but he couldn't.

"You, along with Alexander Lightwood, will bring the kingdom back to its original glory."

He didn't doubt Alexander's abilities one bit. He was strong, and determined to get something down and perfected before moving on to something else. He was a leader.

Magnus was nothing. He wasn't anything special.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes before getting up. He put on a robe because the temperature had dropped down nearly ten degrees the night before. 

He walked out of his room, greeting Ragnor with a small smile. Ragnor turned from his toast making, and smiled back. "Magnus, good morning."

Magnus nodded. "Good morning," he said. 

But it really wasn't.

"Did you sleep well?" Ragnor asked.

Magnus was about to say no, but instead stopped himself. He was up late talking to Catarina Loss, but when he had gotten back to bed, which he still didn't know how he did, he didn't dream at all. 

"Actually, yes, I did." He sounded confused.

Ragnor brought the hard bread to the table. He frowned. "Are you alright?" 

Magnus shook his head, flinging the thoughts away, and took his seat at the table. He smiled at Ragnor. "I'm as okay as I can be," he said.

Ragnor took a seat next to him, grabbing the bread and taking a bite. "That's good," he said, mouthful of bread. Magnus nodded, hands still in his lap. He hadn't gone to engage in the breakfast. Ragnor noticed. "Are you sure?"

Magnus shook his head again, smiling. "Yes, sorry," he said. He started eating.

Ragnor didn't look convinced, but he didn't say anything more on the matter. "Have you spoken to Alec since you two had an 'almost moment'?"

Magnus nodded. "Yes, but I don't think it was anything he wanted to hear."

"What do you mean?"

Magnus shrugged. "It's just... we both have made it clear that we have attractions for one another. But I also made it clear that nothing could happen."

Ragnor looked disappointed. "Magnus," he said disapprovingly. 

"Think about it, Ragnor. He's the prince, and I'm his servant. He's a boy, and I'm a boy. He's not even come out to his parents, and I'm not going to force him into that." He took another bite.

Ragnor swallowed some bread before saying anything. "I understand that it's a bit... incompatible, but not impossible. Alec isn't like his parents, he doesn't care about positions. The fact that you're a servant has nothing to do with how he feels about you."

Magnus nodded. "I know that, but do the people see it that way?" Ragnor was about to say something, but stopped himself, contemplating what Magnus said. "See," Magnus started again. "I'm not going to let his people suddenly see him differently for A) dating a servant, and B) dating a boy."

"But, I don't think the people will care," Ragnor finally said. "The people have more respect for him than even the king and queen themselves. Not that they aren't great leaders, they're just... dismissive to the freedom of magic wielders."

Magnus made a gesture with his hand. "Exactly," he said. He pointed at himself. "Magic wielder."

Ragnor rolled his eyes. "Yes, but-"

"I have to go attend to the prince," he said, getting up. Ragnor tried to stop him, but he was already by the door. "Breakfast was great, thank you."

And he was gone.

...

Magnus knocked on the prince's door before entering. He went to the bed to wake Alec, but he wasn't in there. His covers were strewn about messily, and his pillows were in total disarray. "My lord?" He called.

Alec poked his head through the changing screen, smiling at Magnus. "Magnus, hi."

Magnus swallowed, pushing the thoughts of that adorable smile out of the way. "My lord," he bowed. "You are up early."

Alec shrugged, walking out from behind the screen, to Magnus. Not close or anything, just casually next to him. Like Magnus asked. 

He was such a gentleman.

"Yeah, well, I guess I just woke up early on my own. I do that sometimes, if I'm stressed."

Magnus titled his head. "Why are you stressed my lord?"

The prince waved his hand dismissively. "Nothing important, just my parents."

Magnus nodded. 

He knew the prince had struggles with his parents. The king and queen put a lot of stress on the boy. Pounding him down with aspects of a good king. 

He wondered how he had gotten the heir to the throne. He wasn't the only sibling. He didn't ask though.

Alec jolted excitedly. "Oh," he exclaimed. "I almost forgot." He walked to his desk near the big window, and grabbed a small, black bag off of it. There was a diamond clasp keeping it closed. He turned back to Magnus. "This is for you," he said.

Magnus blinked, surprised. "What?"

Alec shrugged, but was smiling mischievously. "Isabelle said you would like it."

He handed Magnus the bag, and felt something inside. A lot of somethings. He looked up at Alec, smiling. He unclasped the diamond, and pulled the flap open. 

He opened his mouth in shock, taking in a sharp breath. 

Inside the bag were all sorts of make up brands and devices to make him beautiful. He pushed through some of them. 

There were lipsticks, foundations, mascaras, eyeliners, eyeshadows, and even some contouring in there. 

Oh, dear lord, there was highlight in the bag too.

He looked up Alexander, smiling what could be the biggest smile he'd ever had in a very long time. "Oh, my god..." he mumbled. "I... I don't know what to say."

Alec shrugged again. "She said it might cheer you up," he said. 

Magnus blinked, his smile shrinking to a more gentler one. "I must thank her," he whispered.

Alec smiled, looking at how happy Magnus was. "Go," he said.

Magnus frowned. "I didn't mean now, my lord, you need attending too."

Alec waved his hand around like he'd done moments ago. "I'll be fine, Magnus. Go and talk to her, she will like seeing you."

Magnus felt a warmth in his heart knowing that someone else liked his company. He bowed. "Thank you, my lord."

"Please," Alec said. "Alexander is fine."

Magnus smirked slightly, knowing Alec hated the pet name when it came from other's lips, but not his. He felt a warmth in his chest again. "Okay," he whispered.

Alec and Magnus just stared at each other for a while, then Alec broke the peaceful silence. "Now, go."

Magnus nodded, heading to Isabelle's room.

...

He held the make up in his hand tightly as he walked the halls to Isabelle's quarters. He held onto it so tightly he was afraid he would just break all the brushes and things inside. 

But he couldn't stop. He was so happy, and he damned himself for being happy, but he was. And he didn't want to stop being happy. He wanted to continue having this feeling. 

Alec made him happy. Isabelle made him happy, and Clary, and Ragnor. He didn't want to leave them, ever.

He finally made it Isabelle's room, and knocked. He heard shuffling inside, and the door opened. 

He wasn't shocked when Clary was on the other side. She smiled, looking at the bag in his hands. She looked like she knew something that he didn't. "My lady, he's here."

He's here? Were they expecting him?

Isabelle appeared beside Clary, smiling at Magnus. "I see you got the bag," she said.

Magnus was confused at first, a bit too shocked to say anything. But then he nodded, and his smile came back on his features. "I did," he said. "And I wanted to thank you, lady Isabelle. I can't even describe to you in words what this means to me."

Isabelle's smile grew. "I know, Magnus." 

Magnus chuckled. "Thank you," he said again.

"It's not problem at all. It made you smile." 

Magnus was taken aback, his smile replaced with a surprised look. "My lady?"

She shrugged. "I missed seeing you smile."

Magnus looked down bashfully. 

"I hope that this allows you to see what you mean to us," Clary started. "We're your friends, Magnus. And we want to be there for you when we can be. Which is always."

"Don't ever feel like you can't talk to us," Isabelle said. "Because we will always be there to listen."

"And don't feel like you have to run away," Clary began again. "Don't ever run away, because we can't help you if you're not here for us to."

Magnus listened to them, feeling a lot hit him at ounce. No one has ever made him feel so... welcomed and wanted. No one has ever made his heart swell like this. No one has ever made him so comfortable to be around.

And he enjoyed it. He enjoyed being happy. 

Magnus smiled a small smile. "Okay," he said, nodding. "Okay."

Isabelle and Clary smiled, both going in for a hug. 

And he accepted it, because he wanted too. He didn't try to push them away, or run away. He let them squash him in their arms, and he let them whisper sweet nothings in to his ears. He let them love him.

Maybe he should finally allow people to love him. 

Maybe it was time to accept that... that other people wanted to help him. 

Maybe it was time...

They let go, smiling at him as they pulled back. He was smiling too, and he felt tears welling, but not of sadness. "Thank you..." he mumbled.

They both just nodded.

He sniffled. "Sorry," he said. "Hm, I um... I just wanted to really thank you for this, and I will wear it everyday." 

Isabelle's smile touched her eyes. "Maybe you should do mine sometime."

Magnus smiled wider. "Okay, my lady. I'd love to."

She bowed to him.

The princess just bowed to a servant.

Maybe Ragnor was right. The Lightwood children didn't see positions as anything important. Just the quality of the person is what mattered. 

Magnus bowed back. "I must go back to the prince."

Isabelle winked at him. "Of course you do," she said.

Magnus rolled his eyes playfully. "I hope to see you later, my lady."

She nodded, still smiling that beautiful smile. "Likewise, Magnus."

He bowed once more before turning for Alexander's quarters.

...

"So you're going to wear it?" Alec asked Magnus.

"Of course I am."

"That is so great."

"Why?"

"Because, its bold. You're a very bold person."

Magnus scoffed. "I'm not that bold."

Alec scoffed back. "Yes you are."

"I just don't think things like clothes and make up should be titled for genders." 

Alec laughed. "Touché."

They were sitting at Alexander's dining table he had in his room, and they were just talking. It was nice. You'd think the prince of Idris had duties and somewhere to be, but he didn't appear to want to get anywhere very quickly. 

Magnus enjoyed talking to the prince. To Alexander. He enjoyed getting to know him. He wanted to continue to get to know Alexander, he just didn't know if... if engaging in one another like THAT would be right yet.

"You know," Alec started. "I really envy you."

Magnus was taken aback. "Why?"

"Because you're so confident of yourself."

Magnus shrugged. "Wrong," he said. "I'm not confident one bit. I'm just not afraid to put whatever I want on my face."

Alec laughed. "You're not wrong about that, but you are confident."

"Alec-" he tried.

"No, just hear me out."

Magnus wanted to already jump in and deny whatever he was going to say, but he allowed Alec to speak.

"You're out," was all he said. It was a whisper, such a sad whisper that Magnus wanted to take away.

Magnus sighed. "I mean, I've come out to Ragnor. I'm not necessarily out to the point that everyone knows I'm attracted to both sexes. But I will never deny if asked. And I won't ever not correct someone if they call me gay."

"What would you call yourself?" Alec asked, smiling.

Magnus smirked. "I like to think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual." 

Alec chuckled, but his smile was sad. "How do you do it? How do you... you know..."

Magnus took in a deep breath. "I can't say I wasn't nervous. Because I was worried Ragnor wouldn't see me the same way, and I have grown very fond of the little cabbage," he smiled. "But I knew that if I wasn't honest he would never know the real me. And I would rather him hate me for the real me, then love me for something that was fake."

Alec nodded, contemplating what Magnus said. Magnus could see the thoughts running through the prince's eyes. He put a hand on Alec's. "I know it's hard, Alexander. And I know, more than anything, to never come out unless one is ready. And if you're not ready, then that's okay."

Alec nodded, looking at the conjoined hands. He smiled a small smile up at Magnus. "Thank you," he said. "This... this doesn't have anything to do with... you know us?"

"Us?"

"Yeah," Alec said. "Is me... not out, a reason that you say we can never happen?"

Magnus felt the shift in the air. It went from light to heavy real quick. He cleared his throat. "I just... I would never force you into anything, Alexander. I don't want you to feel obligated to come out because of me."

Alec bit his lip.

Magnus let go of Alec's hand, but not without seeing a look of disappointment in Alec's eyes as he did. "I'm sorry," Magnus said. "I just... I think us just staying friends should be how it is."

Alec nodded, but looked sad. "I understand," he said. 

Magnus didn't think he did.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

Alec shook his head. "No, it's okay. Besides, I can understand if you're not ready for any relationship like that. You're still upset about your mother, and you're still struggling. I think... I think you focusing on getting better is good."

Magnus didn't really know what to say to that, so he didn't say anything. 

Neither of them did. They just continued to stare at each other like they wanted to touch, and hug, and kiss, but they couldn't. They just couldn't.

Magnus suddenly stood up. "It's getting late, my lord." It was turning dark, and it was then they both realized that they had been talking all day. "Shall I prepare you for bed?"

Alec stood up then too. "Um, yes, sure that would be fine."

Magnus nodded and began preparing the young prince for bed. 

After that, he had a certain blue women to visit.


	10. Understanding a Little More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! Chapter ten! I gotta say, I'm really happy everyone seems to be enjoying this. I hope you guys are. I hope my writing is entertaining for you! *sends hugs*
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than usual, but still great. We get some emotional Ragnor here, so good luck!!
> 
> Still warnings so please read my children I love you!!
> 
> Warnings for chapter: suicide, past abuse

"Ms. Loss!" Magnus called, his voice reverberating off the walls of the small, stone room. "You wanted to talk, so come talk!"

After he had put Alexander to bed, he didn't head to his chambers for a nights rest. Not that he would get any anyways. But he had come back down to the cell looking room made of stone. He and the blue women had some things to talk about.

He turned around, trying to find where she was, because he already knew she appeared and disappeared without one noticing. "Ms. Loss," he said again. "Please."

"It's good to see you still alive," a voice said, and Magnus whipped around to face her. She smiled. "That would have been disastrous for you and Alec's destiny."

Magnus shook his head. "That's why I am here," he replied. "I need to know more."

She shrugged. "If it is something I may answer, I will."

He frowned, not really understanding what that meant, but spoke anyways. "What is it exactly I am destined to do?"

She chuckled. "You will guide Alexander Lightwood in his princely duties and his kingly deeds," she said. "You will make sure Alexander makes the correct choices, when you know he will make the wrong ones."

He was denying. "Alexander will always make the right choice."

She laughed. "You have high hopes for your prince, but you will soon see to be sadly disappointed."

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"He is a young boy who still hangs around the back of his closet, and is being pressured by his parents to be 'good royalty'," she explained. "He is destined to make bad, and good choices. But many of those choices will be guided by you."

He shook his head. "But... I am just his servant, Ms. Loss."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Please, call me Catarina. That sounds gross to the tongue."

He nodded. "I meant no disrespect."

She waved her hand again. "Oh, no, forget it. Just call me Catarina, or even Cat." 

Magnus bowed his head. "If you wish."

"I do," she said. "And I wish for you to accept your destiny."

He sighed. "I can't be destined for anything other than destruction."

She tilted her head. "We cannot choose our destinies, Magnus. They are given to us, and we follow them. You must follow yours for this kingdom to raise again." 

Magnus looked Catarina up and down, trying to comprehend what she was saying. "How?"

She laughed, and suddenly, there was what looked to be a tornado surrounding her, swirling around her while she continued to laugh until she disappeared.

Magnus took a deep breath, and let it go. "Of course she'd disappear all dramatically like that..." he mumbled to himself. He sighed again, shoulder slouching in defeat. 

Maybe he should tell Ragnor about this...

...

"You're telling me," Ragnor said unconvinced. "That someone called you from under the castle for you to come to them?"

Magnus nodded. "I'm not lying, Ragnor."

He shook his head. "I didn't mean that, I just can't think of who that could be." He thought for a second, and Magnus shifted on his seat uncomfortably. "What was her name?"

"She said her name was Catarina Loss," he answered. "She was... not normal..."

Ragnor's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, but then changed as if he realized something, and frowned. "What do you mean?" 

Magnus glided his eyes away for a moment, feeling like he might just be going insane. "She was blue," he mumbled. 

Ragnor blinked. "What?" He exhaled.

"She was blue, Ragnor..."

Ragnor opened his mouth to speak something, but couldn't seem to think of anything to say. "You're sure?"

Magnus made a deadpanned look. "That's not something you can mistake..."

Ragnor nodded. "Yes..."

They sat there in silence for a moment, unsure what to say. Magnus didn't like it. "Do you know her?"

Ragnor looked awkward. "No," he said.

"You're lying," Magnus accused. 

Ragnor sighed. "I'm not."

Magnus looked at him obviously. "Ragnor," he scolded.

Ragnor put his hands up in defense. "Okay, I am lying," he admitted.

"How do you know her?" 

Ragnor took a deep breath, then let it go slowly. "She was my friend," he said. But it was sad, and Magnus felt strange at the word 'was'. 

"Was?" He asked.

Ragnor looked down. "She was a colleague here. We worked together as court physicians, but Robert discovered she was a Warlock... he killed her... and he made me watch."

Magnus blanched. "What?" He exclaimed. 

Ragnor looked to be trying to avoid tears. "He made me watch..."

"Why?" Magnus couldn't believe it.

"I tried to convince him to let her go. He knew I knew she was a Warlock, but he didn't kill me. He told me I was blinded and I deserved to be saved," Ragnor's voice was bitter. "Saved because I was probably enchanted to trust her, or some fault like that. I hated it, but I knew if I denied him or disobeyed him any longer, I would join her in the flames..."

Magnus... didn't really know what to say to that. He always pictured Ragnor as heroic. As someone who wouldn't let someone burn to the stake without a fight. But Ragnor, as if reading his mind, explained.

"I would have joined her, I would... she... she begged me not to. She told me I had a reason to be alive and she had a reason not to be..."

Magnus straightened his back, shocked. "She told you you had a destiny, didn't she?"

He just nodded, and a tear slid down his face. "She was my best friend, and she begged me to keep fighting. So I did. I was wreck when she died, and it took me a while to trust the king again."

Magnus narrowed his eyes. "You're saying you trust him?"

Ragnor thought about it for a moment, and didn't really know what to say. He shrugged. "I don't know, my friend, but I know I must allow him to be my king and I his physician, because she asked me to."

Magnus nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry," he apologized.

Ragnor wiped his face, shaking his head. He plastered that confident smile on his face, and Magnus envied him. "It's not your fault, Magnus."

Magnus shrugged. "Still..."

"I know," Ragnor said. "I can't believe she's here."

Magnus shifted. "I hope this isn't a stupid question, but did you know she was blue?"

Ragnor laughed. "Yes, very much so."

It was strange to Magnus, because most Warlocks don't have abnormalities like that. "How? She's still human," he remarked.

Ragnor nodded. "That she is, but she was very powerful. If a Warlock is that powerful, they can have a mark; a mark of influence. We call them demon marks, but their not actually demon marks. We just enjoy being dramatic," Ragnor smiled. 

Magnus nodded, taking the information in. "That's interesting. How did she hide that?"

"Those who have marks like that use what we call glamours to hide them. It's a powerful spell made to hide them; camouflage them."

"Do you have one?"

Ragnor chuckled. "No," he said. "I wasn't near as powerful as her. I was certainly wiser," he mumbled under his breath.

Magnus smiled at the fondness in his voice as he spoke about her to him. "How did Robert find out she was a Warlock?"

Ragnor's smile faded, and his eyes became dark; sinister. "Someone saw her use magic, and told the king. To this day, I don't know who it was. They tried to turn me in, but the king trusted me more. Ironic, isn't it?"

Magnus smiled sadly. "Yes, it is..."

Ragnor took a deep breath. "It's hard, I will admit. Being friends with the king like I am, while also knowing he killed her." 

Magnus put his hand on his. "I'm so sorry, Ragnor, I'm so damn sorry." He had no idea that Ragnor had suffered individually at the hands of the king. 

Ragnor squeezed his hand, smiling gently at Magnus. "Like I said, my friend, it's not your fault." 

"We can go see her, if you want," Magnus suggested. 

Ragnor shook his head. "If I was needed, she would call me."

"But-"

"No, really. I know her. Let her call me on her own time; if she does."

Magnus' shoulders fell in defeat. The sun was coming up, and Magnus knew he had to wake the prince soon. "Shall I make breakfast this time?"

Ragnor stood from the chair, heading to the counters. "Nonsense, I enjoy cooking for you."

Magnus frowned. "Really?"

Ragnor shrugged. "It's nice having someone like me around again. I would cook a million meals for you."

Magnus smiled. "Ragnor," he said.

Ragnor smiled back. "I am very grateful for you."

Magnus got up from his own chair, walking to Ragnor and hugging him. Ragnor hesitated, as if shocked, and wrapped his arms around the smaller Warlock. "I'm grateful for you too," Magnus said. 

...

Magnus had scarfed down his breakfast made by Ragnor, who apparently enjoyed making it for them. It was sweet, Magnus thought. He was happy he could be someone for Ragnor, and not just some pest left behind after his mother had killed herself. 

He hadn't thought about it for a while, he realized. He'd been too busy with Catarina and Alexander that he hadn't actually thought about her or even dreamt about any of it. Although, that wasn't fair, he hadn't slept in just about two days now. 

His footsteps were loud as he made his way to Alexander's room, glad that he could stay on their usual schedule. Usually, if his mind was thrown all over the place, his normal routines became a bit out of sync. 

He remembered once, back in his village, he would wake his mother every morning early so that they could have a long day together. They enjoyed spending mornings with each other. But the night before, his step-father had beaten him just about senseless, and it turned out with his mother coming to him. 

It had made him angry. Because he should be able to get up after something like that, and be a man. Except that he hated that phrase. He hated phrases like that. 'You are acting unlady like, or unmannerly'. Magnus didn't know that being born with a male or female parts gave someone expectations they were supposed to live by.

Oh yeah, there aren't any. Or at least there shouldn't be any. Men and women should not have to live by standards made by society. Just live however you want. 

He thought about the make up Isabelle had given him, and felt guilty when he realized he hadn't had a chance to put any on. He would most certainly put some on while he had his break in between breakfast and lunch. 

As if the universe heard him, Isabelle turned the corner going in the opposite direction Magnus was as he turned, and they ran into each other. Magnus bowed, apologizing. "I'm sorry, my lady. I wasn't paying attention."

Isabelle giggled. Magnus was surprised to not see Clary by her side. They usually were. "It's okay," she said. She was smiling. "How are you?"

Magnus sighed. "I'm very tired."

Isabelle chuckled. "Alec got you working hard?"

Magnus smiled fondly. "No," he tittered. "I just didn't sleep last night."

Isabelle nodded, looking sympathetic. "I'm sorry," she said.

Magnus shrugged. "It's alright. I'm getting back in the swing of things. I'll be okay."

Isabelle's smile reached her cheeks. "I'm glad." She frowned. "No make up?"

Magnus looked down ashamed, hoping she wouldn't have noticed. "I know, I just didn't have time. I'm putting some on at lunch though."

Isabelle's smile returned. "Okay," she exclaimed. "I'll see you then."

Magnus bowed, and she walked away.

Magnus continued his way to Alec's chambers.

...

"Good morning, my lord." Magnus' voice echoed Alexander's chambers as he opened the curtains, and the beams of sunlight peaked their way through the windows.

Alec shifted on the bed, groaning. He rolled onto his back, rubbing his eyes. He took a few deep breaths, trying to wake up. 

Magnus had made his way to Alexander's armoire, picking out a basic white tunic and brown pants. When Alec sat up and saw the clothes hanging over Magnus' arm, he grimaced. "Do I have any more black tunics?"

Magnus laughed. "Come on, Alexander. If I could wear clothes like this, you could bet your buns I wouldn't be wearing all black."

Alec chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. "Bright colors like that just... look weird on me."

"Nothing could look weird on you," Magnus mumbled, but Alec heard it and blushed. Magnus stood there for a moment, brushing past the moment. His voice chipped up. "Besides, you have a big meeting today, you need to wear something... not sinister."

Alexander looked playfully appalled. "My clothes are not sinister," he exclaimed. 

Magnus lay the clothes down on a bench sitting at the end of the bed, and grabbed his black boots, setting them down beside the outfit. "Whatever you say, my lord."

Alec cackled, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He jumped off the bed, taking a few steps closer to Magnus. "Hey, I wanted to ask you something."

Magnus looked up from the clothes. "Okay," he said, a little nervous.

Alec shifted on his feet, licking his lips. He took a deep breath, and let it go slowly. "I was wondering," he began, running the back of his head awkwardly. "When is your mother's funeral?"

A sharp intake of breath entered through Magnus' nose. He cleared his throat, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "It's in two days." His voice was quiet.

Alec nodded, looking just as uncomfortable as Magnus felt. "Were you going to go?"

Magnus thought about it for a moment. He really didn't want to see his mother being lowered six feet under. But he also knew he wanted to see her one more time. He felt tears welling, and pushed them away forcefully. "If I will be allowed to, yes." His words were shaky.

Alec frowned. "Why wouldn't you be allowed?"

Magnus shrugged. "I am your servant."

Alec licked his lips again. "Well, that actually doesn't matter."

Magnus tilted his head. "I don't understand."

Alec took a deep breath and let it go slowly. "Would it be okay, hm, if I were... to... you know?"

Magnus blinked. "No I don't..."

Alec sighed, frustrated at his stuttering. "I mean... would it be okay if I accompanied you?"

Magnus gasped, taking a step back, eyes wide. "What?"

Alec shifted again. "Would that be okay?"

Magnus blinked, surprised. "Are you sure? Alexander, you don't have to abandon your duties for a day for me."

Alec took a step closer to stand in front of Magnus. "Magnus, I want to. Please?"

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, but nothing was coming out. He shook his head, looking down. Tears finally fell, and wiped them away aggressively. "Yes, Alexander, yes. Please," his voice cracked.

Alec hugged him then, and Magnus hugged him back. Alec's hugs were warm and cozy and he quiet enjoyed them. He didn't necessarily enjoy how they were always with tears coming down his face. He pulled away, and found that he had managed to stop crying. Alec looked down at him, and Magnus looked up, feeling intense heat between them. Magnus wanted to walk away, but he found his feet were as if they were glued to the floor. "Alexander..."

Alec blinked, as if realizing what was happening, and sighed, taking a step back. "I'm sorry," he said.

Magnus shook his head. "No," he whispered. "It's okay."

Alec nodded, but still looked embarrassed. 

Magnus attempted to make the moment less awkward. "So, would you like toast this morning?"

Alec smiled, nodding. "Yes, that'd be great."

Magnus smiled back, helping Alec into his clothes, and getting breakfast prepared.


	11. A Dark Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much darker and longer chapter! Get lit guys! Get lit or get hit! (Omg I'm so mad at myself for typing that out...)
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: violence (sort of), suicide, self hate

"Are you nervous?" Alec asked Magnus, who was also at the table seated across from Alec. Alec always said he didn't understand why the servant was always expected to stand next to the master. Magnus quiet liked that. 

But upon hearing that question come out of Alexander's mouth, Magnus felt his heart tighten. "I..." he sighed, and shrugged. "I don't really want to think about it. I just want to believe that she's still here, and this is all just one long nightmare, but it's not, and I hate it." 

Alec looked at him with sympathy. He was chewing a mouthful of toast when he spoke, and Magnus smiled internally at that. Most royalty didn't do that. But then again, Alec wasn't most people. "I get it. I just... I should warn you that it won't be pretty."

Magnus considered maybe Alec had been at a funeral before. "You know what it's like?"

Alec nodded, swallowing some bread. "Of course I do. We lose men all the time out on the battlefield. Their burials are usually not very content."

Magnus sighed, looking down. He was trying not to cry as he thought about his mother, dead. Dead... she was dead, and never coming back. He shook the thoughts away when Alec said his name in concern. "Sorry," Magnus said. He took a deep breath. "I just don't want to see that. I don't want to see... I just..."

"I know," Alec said. "I know..."

Magnus looked at him from across the table, and honestly wanted to jump across it and kiss him senseless, but probably not the best idea. "I'm glad that you will be there."

Alec smiled. "Me too," he chirped. "I'm glad I can be there for you."

Magnus' heartbeat quickened at those words. "Thank you," he said shakily. 

Alec smiled again. 

And so did Magnus. 

It was so great, knowing that someone other than your mother cared about your wellbeing. He knew Ragnor did, and that was just as great. But Alec liked him in a... very different way. That much had been confessed, and Magnus had confessed himself that he liked the prince too. They just... they couldn't get involved like that. They don't fit. 

"You know," Alec started. "The death of your mother made me rethink some things." He looked deep in thought.

Magnus frowned. "What?"

Alec looked at Magnus. "Well, it's just... my mother and I don't really have a good relationship. My father is trying harder than my mother is, I will admit. Trying harder to understand that I don't want the heir to the throne, but I know nothing will change that. And my mother practically hates me for it."

Magnus was shaking his head. "She doesn't hate you. Never doubt a parent's love." Magnus wanted to laugh at his own words. He'd never met his real father, and his step-father beat him every day and even tried to kill him. 

He doubted his parent's love everyday. 

Alec nodded. "I know, it's just... I realized that even though we don't have a deep relationship, I know I'd never want to lose her. Or my father for that matter, it's just... you know?"

Magnus felt tears welling again. "I do... I do know. And I wish that my mother was still alive, and I wish I had some sort of family to turn to."

Alec's, very even, eyebrows furrowed. "What about your father?"

"I never met him," Magnus said quietly.

"Oh," Alec remarked awkwardly. "What about step parents or aunts and uncles?"

Magnus swallowed. "My step-father is... dead, and most of my family is back in Indonesia, and there's no way I am ever going back there."

"Why?" Alec asked.

Magnus' eyes glided up to Alec's. "We came here because my step-father had money and he could get us out of there. We were very poor. Literally almost homeless if it weren't for him." His voice turned bitter without him realizing. "I used to think of him as a fallen angel sent down from heaven to save us," he scoffed. "That changed the moment he ever lay a hand on her."

Alec's eyes widened slightly. "Your step-father abused your mother?"

Magnus nodded. "And me... well, mostly me. He hated me."

Alec's eyes softened, and his voice was gentle. "Why?"

Magnus knew this was an open window to come out and say it. 'I have magic and every time he saw it or even so much as sensed it he would beat me until I forgot my own name.' He didn't, of course. "I don't know," he lied. 

Alec knew there was more, but didn't mention anything. "I'm sorry," he said. "How did he die?"

Magnus felt trapped suddenly. What was he supposed to say? How do you lie about that? Magnus took a deep breath, and thought of something. He smiled bitterly. "He drowned."

Alec looked to he uncomfortable at the smile that lit up Magnus' face as he said that. "I'm sorry," he said again.

Magnus chuckled. "Don't be," he said. "That was the happiest day of my life."

Another lie, but also not. He was terrified that he had succumbed to the monster his step-father always told him that he was, but he was also happy that his step-father was gone. 

Alec just nodded, and changed the subject. "Where is the funeral?"

"At the village."

"Where is your village?"

"It's a little over the mountains. Not tall mountains, more like baby mountains." 

Alec cackled. "You mean hills?"

Magnus rolled his eyes playfully. "No, not hills. They were tall, just not exactly mountains." 

"What's your village called?"

"Brookaldore," Magnus answered. "It's an unusual name, I know."

Alec shrugged. "Our kingdom is called Idris, which is pretty strange." 

Magnus 'pffted'. "Please, if my village was called something cool like that, I would be pretty content with it."

They both shared a laugh, and Alec's smile made Magnus' chest tighten. But then Alec's doors burst open, and a very frightened Isabelle came marching in. "Izzy?" Alec asked, immediately at her side. She was seething. "Izzy, what's wrong?"

"It's our father," she grit out. "They just captured another Warlock, and they're going to kill him tomorrow morning."

Alec's mouth opened in shock. "Dammit," he mumbled to himself. He looked at Magnus, who was now standing with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, I need to see what's going on."

Magnus shook his head. "Oh, no, don't worry about me. I'll just go see if Ragnor needs help with anything." 

Alec nodded, and though he looked reluctant, he stormed out of the room with Isabelle.

...

Magnus numbly walked back to his chambers. Another warlock... he's going to kill another one. He wanted to know what the warlock was like. Isabelle said it was a male, but how old? Has he fully lived life yet? Was it just a child? Was it an elderly man? Magnus wanted to know. This warlock was like him, and Magnus just felt so... discriminated against. 

Which was true. Robert was only killing the man because he was a Warlock with magic, and that was it. Robert had even killed people that weren't warlocks, that were innocent and were accused. It made him physically sick.

Maybe Ragnor would be able to talk to the king. The king trusted him. But then again, he'd begged the king to let Catarina Loss go, and his response to that was to force Ragnor to watch. 

It just made him so damn sick to his stomach. 

Magnus finally made it to their chambers, and Ragnor was pacing the room, looking very distressed. Everything left Magnus' mind then, because why did Ragnor look like that? "Ragnor?"

Ragnor whipped around to face him. "He's just a boy, Magnus." 

Magnus furrowed his brows. "What?"

"The Warlock, he's just a boy. He's no more than twelve years old," Ragnor said frantically and started pacing again. 

So Ragnor knew about the warlock. And it was just a boy. Magnus felt bile rising up his throat. "Ragnor," he started. "We have to stop the king."

Ragnor grit his teeth. "He won't listen, he never listens. And yes, I know he's killed children before, some not even warlocks. But this... Magnus he's a boy ripped away from his mother. They killed his mother to get to him."

Magnus blanched. "What?"

Ragnor was gasping for breath, and Magnus felt bad for him. He'd never seen Ragnor like this before. "It's this child I have been hearing whispers about within the court, and I've heard Robert speak of him, I just... I never thought to ask. But he ordered the knights to find him, and I guess they finally found him." Ragnor began pacing again. "They killed the mother, they killed the boy's mother and now they're going to kill him, and I do not want to stand idly by for this one!"

'This one'. He speaks of Catarina. 

Magnus walked closer towards the older warlock, trying to think of something to say. His stomach churned. "Ragnor, none of this is your fault."

Ragnor whirled to look at him. "I never said it was," he growled. "This is all the king and queens fault. I just know I can do something for this boy, I can try." 

Magnus nodded, slowly taking another step towards Ragnor. Ragnor had begun to hum his magic around the room, and Magnus had never seen Ragnor lose control. 

Ragnor shook his head, looking determined. "No," he mumbled. "No," a little louder. "I'm going to do something, I'm going to talk to him." He passed Magnus on the way out, and Magnus just wasn't sure where to go or what to do anymore. 

He knew it was bad to do in a situation like this, but he decided to put the make up on. 

He slowly walked to his room, and went towards the bag Isabelle gave him sitting on the table near the window. He snapped his fingers to form a magical reflection to use as a mirror. He took a seat at the desk near it, and opened the bag, letting his fingers run along the pool of make up. He first grabbed a brush, one with short bristles on the end that should work well with his skin. 

He grabbed the tan foundation next, the perfect match of his skin color, and ran the brush along the powder. He then applied it to his cheeks, then his chin, his forehead, neck, under his eyes, everywhere. Everywhere to make the sadness go away. Everywhere to make the despair go away. Everywhere to disguise himself from the awful that was him. 

When he saw that most of his flaws were covered, he then went for some of the highlight inside the bag. He dabbed it with a smaller brush, and ran it along the tops of his cheeks, and turned his head towards the window to see the shine. When he felt satisfied with that, his fingers latched onto some darker shade of foundation to contour his cheekbones. 

He made a fishy face and ran the brush along the folds of his cheeks. 

Perfect.

Next, he needed to apply some shadow onto his lids. His pulled out some purple shadow and ran the same brush from the contour onto the shadow, then he closed one of his eyes, and ran it along the lid in circles to get the perfect shape. Then he repeated with the other eye. 

After that, he would need the liner. His favorite. He always loved forming the wing, and he didn't know how, but he always made them look even. Perfectly even. 

Like he'd just done now. 

Now, the lipstick. Just a nude shade for now.

And finally, he reached for the little tube of glitter, and puffed some onto the lids of his eyes. 

He looked into his magical reflection, and felt tears welling in his eyes, but sucked them back in, not wanting this work to go to waste. 

He just wanted to disguise himself right now. He wasn't Magnus, the scared little boy from Brookaldore. He wasn't Magnus, the broken soul who'd lost his  
mother to suicide. He wasn't Magnus, the boy so totally crazy over Alexander, someone he could never have. 

He was Magnus Bane. A powerful warlock that was in control of his powers and not emotionally compromised. He was Magnus Bane. A man from Brookaldore ready to conquer the world. He was Magnus Bane. Someone that would cause destruction to those who stood in his way.

He was Magnus Bane.

Magnus Bane.

...

Ragnor heard the prince and his father in full grown argument as he neared the council room. They were yelling, and denying everything the other said. Alec was fighting for the boy. Isabelle was standing outside the room when he turned the corner, and stopped. She had tears streaming down her face.

Ragnor just pulled her into a hug. "My father is a murderer, Ragnor..." she whimpered.

"Shh," he hushed, stroking her hair. "We'll figure it out."

"He's just a boy!" Alec yelled from inside the council chambers, and Ragnor just squeezed Isabelle tighter. "You're going to send a boy to his death!"

Robert yelled back. "He's not just a boy, as you so say. He's a monster, a magic wielding monster who will kill for satisfaction."

Alec laughed, but it was bitter. "So just because he's a warlock, he's rendered guilty?"

"Every Warlock is guilty!"

"Everyone, no matter the race or gender, or sexuality, or if someone has magic, is innocent until proven guilty. Have you even given this boy a trial?" 

"I need no trial to know he is guilty!"

Alec grunted. "Oh, my God, are you even listening to yourself right now? You're being a dictator, a tyrant! Is this the kind of king you've been drilling into me to be since I was just five years old? A tyrant? A murderer?"

"I am no murderer, son!"

Alec's voice quieted, but it was dangerous and low, like a predator ready to strike its prey. "Really? Because the only one I see here killing for satisfaction is you." 

Then there was silence and Alec's footsteps coming towards the door, and the big double doors opened, and Alec just stormed passed them. 

Ragnor finally let go of Isabelle, and she looked at her father, eyes angry and fierce. "You should be ashamed, Robert Lightwood." She stormed away next.

The king looked to Ragnor for some sort of solace, but Ragnor wasn't going to give it. He just shook his head, and walked away.

...

Alec stormed the halls, unsure of what to do. For the first time in his life, he'd denied his father. For the first time in his life, he'd stood up for something he believed to be wrong. For the first time in his life, he admitted to his father that he truly believed that not all warlocks were evil.

Because they weren't. Most of them were trying to find some place to find peace rather than persecution. They were running, and trying to run towards solace. They weren't finding any.

Alec had considered trying to break this boy out of jail, but it was too risky. It just wasn't an option. 

There was nothing he could do. He tried to fight for the boy, tried to get his father to allow him even so much as a trial but nothing. His father's mind was set. The boy would be beheaded tomorrow morning. 

It made his stomach churn and his insides twist up into knots. 

He didn't know how, but he made it back to his chambers, and he opened the door. 

But all of his troubles were forgotten for a moment, because all he saw was Magnus. Magnus Bane standing there with a face full of make up and beauty that his breath was taken away. He was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. 

Not that Magnus needed any make up, but Magnus preferred it and it was beautiful, he was beautiful. 

"My lord," Magnus said, bowing. His voice sounded distant, like he was physically here, but not mentally. "Can I prepare lunch for you?"

Alec's mouth was still open in shock as Magnus' beauty, but realized he probably looked like a blushing idiot, and regained his composure. He grimaced just thinking about eating. He shook his head, taking a seat in his chair at the table.

Magnus stood there unsure of what to do at first, but took slow steps next to Alec. He leaned down to look up at him from his kneeling position, grabbing his hand. "Tell me what I can do, Alexander."

Alec didn't react. 

"Alexander, please."

"There's nothing," he groaned. "Nothing. My father's mind is made up. The boy will be killed tomorrow morning. A beheading." 

Magnus closed his eyes, as if trying to block the blow from hitting him. He felt more tears welling like he'd been feeling all day, but always fought them off. He continued to. "Alexander, I know this is hard... I know I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He leaned in to hug Alec, but Alec stopped him by putting a hand on his chest. 

"Don't," Alec said. Magnus felt his heart fall. "Kiss me."

Magnus leaned up slightly in shock. "What?"

"Just kiss me," he said again.

Magnus took full steps back away from Alec. He was shaking his head, and tears were welling again, and his heart was breaking. His voice cracked when he said, "I can't."

Alec looked hurt, and looked back down. 

"Alexander," he tried.

"Leave me," Alec whispered.

Magnus took another step towards him. "Alec, please."

"I said leave me." Alec raised his voice. For the first time since Magnus being Alec's servant, Alec became stern.

Magnus stood there for a moment before finally leaving the room.

...

"Whatever it is you think I am supposed to do, you have to the wrong person!" 

Magnus was yelling in the small room, trying to get Catarina to come to him. So far he'd had no luck, but he wasn't leaving until she came. 

"I am not destined for anything! I am nothing! Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing!"

"There is nothing I can do for Alexander!"

"I can't do it!"

"He won't ever speak to me again, not after this..."

"So there," Magnus finally finished, seeing that Catarina wasn't coming. "Just thought you should hear that."

He was just about to be out of the room, but a blue glow lightened the room before dying down, and he turned around to see her. 

"I did say," she began. "That Alexander would make bad choices. He got offended when you would not kiss him, and he snapped."

Magnus was shocked. "How do you know about that?" Catarina made a face as if to say 'come now'. Magnus grunted. "You know what, forget it. Forget this. I should have taken my life when I had the chance, when I knew I should have."

"High Warlock, you will not."

"Who's going to stop me? Huh? No one!"

"Ragnor Fell," she said. 

"He doesn't even know."

"Doesn't he?" She said, and it sounded so sure. 

Magnus sighed, closing his eyes. "You called him, didn't you?"

Catarina chuckled. "You didn't think I would trust my words to stop you from killing yourself, did you?" 

Magnus thought for a moment, swallowing. "No."

"Go speak to him. He needs you right now." Her voice sounded sad. "He's being reminded of when I lost my life, and I need him to know that that was not his fault. Please, go to him. He needs you."

Magnus felt the sudden shift in the room, and knew she was right. The way Ragnor had acted earlier was not right, and he knew he should do something. He needed to go see him. 

He needed to forget about his problems long enough to make sure he was okay.

He nodded, leaving her alone to dwell on whatever it is she thought about while down here.

...

Ragnor was staring out the window, seated down with a blanket around him, looking vulnerable. It didn't look right, this wasn't right, this wasn't Ragnor. "He's going to kill the boy," Ragnor whispered upon hearing Magnus enter. "I can't do anything. Alec tried, I tried, Isabelle tried." 

Magnus quickly walked to stand in front of him, kneeling down to look up at him, much like he'd done Alec earlier. It was getting dark out, and he would have to prepare the young lord for bed. 

"Ragnor, none of this is your fault. The boy is not your fault. Catarina is not your fault." Ragnor flinched, and Magnus felt his heart snap in more shattered pieces than they already were. "Ragnor I need you to know that." 

Ragnor nodded slowly, and he looked detached. "Okay," he mumbled. 

Magnus wasn't convinced. "Ragnor," he tried. 

"I know, Magnus." He changed the subject quickly. "Catarina called on me earlier this morning. After you'd left to wake the prince. I know what it is you want to do." His voice was cracking, and his face finally broke out in sadness and tears came through. "Please, don't do that. You don't realize that there are people that love you, I love you, Alec loves you, Isabelle loves you, Clary loves you."

Magnus felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Tears were now streaming down his face. "Ragnor," he tried again.

"Please, my friend, I don't want to lose anymore." A sob escaped his throat, and Magnus pulled Ragnor in a hug. 

"I won't, I promise. I won't, I know now. I know, please stop crying, please..."

They stayed like that through half the night. 

...

When Magnus didn't show to prepare Alec for bed, Alec did it himself. He was hoping to be able to apologize to Magnus for snapping the way he did. Asking him to kiss him in a vulnerable moment like that was wrong. 

He lay in bed thinking about Magnus until he fell asleep. 

He didn't not dream happy dreams.

...

Isabelle saw the darkness outside her windows, Clary quietly preparing the bed for the night. When the sun came up, the little boy would die. 

"My lady," Clary said gently. "The bed is ready."

Isabelle numbly fell into the bed, and Clary tucked her in like a child, but she didn't mind it. It made her feel like she wasn't alone. "Goodnight, my lady."

"Goodnight, Clary," Isabelle mumbled, immediately asleep.

...

Birds chirped. 

The sun was up. 

People crowded the courtyard.

There was a platform and a log sitting in the center of it.

A man, a knight, stood above it, a large axe in his hand.

Drums sounded.

Two guards flanked a small child, he had a hood on his face. He was nameless. He was wearing a loose white shirt stained with blood. His mother's blood. 

The guards walked him up the platform.

They lowered him to his knees in front of the log. The boy was oddly calm.

They pushed his head against the log, turning him to rest his cheek against the wood.

The drums grew louder. 

The people were looking on hungrily for another death of a warlock, having no regard for the fact that it was a child.

The man holding the axe held it above his head, and waited nearly thirty seconds before bringing it down upon the boy's neck. 

Blood was spilled.

...

Magnus screamed, feeling the boy's death.


	12. Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a reason this chapter is called this, you'll just have to figure it out. If you can't, wait till next chapter and it might click. Hehe!
> 
> Btw, sorry this is a little late.
> 
> Trigger warnings: suicide, self-conflict

The same day of the boy's death was a sad one. The royal family didn't quiet talk to each other. Magnus would continue to help Alec with his duties as his servant, but was worried they wouldn't say anything to one another. Magnus could tell Alec was still embarrassed about the night before.

Magnus wished he wasn't. He wished Alec would just talk to him. Not talk to him as his master and he the servant, but as a friend, like they usually did even though they both wanted to be more than friends. 

Tomorrow will be the day they lower his mother into the ground. And Magnus wanted so badly for Alexander to please be there for him, with him. But... he wasn't so sure he would.

He was currently in his and Ragnor's chambers.

Ragnor...

He'd been sad since the boy's death. He'd been terrified when Magnus screamed. 

He couldn't quiet understand why he screamed. Something just made him feel... such sadness and such pain that it overwhelmed him. He'd felt something sting on his neck, and he knew he'd felt the boy's death. Ragnor had burst in his room, hands roaming all over Magnus in fear he was wounded or something.

Luckily, it was just a scare, but Magnus felt wounded in his chest.

He would have to see to the prince soon. 

He and Ragnor were eating a slightly later breakfast than usual, and Ragnor didn't talk.

Magnus didn't either.

What the hell was there to talk about? A boy, a twelve year old boy, was just murdered by their king. 

Magnus hated the king. And his mother always told him to never hate, because it was bad for the soul. But she also said she would never leave him, so what do her damned words matter?

Nothing...

Nothing matters anymore.

The only things that did matter were Ragnor and Alexander.

Ragnor was still upset about the boy and Magnus' suicidal thoughts. He was guilty about Catarina. He was angered by the king. 

Alexander had snapped at Magnus last night in an emotional moment, and was probably feeling embarrassed. He was frustrated with his father. He was at conflict with his wants and the throne. He was still not out to his family. 

Everything was just wrong.

"When will you go see the prince?" Ragnor asked, breaking the awkward silence. His voice had something undetectable in it.

Magnus sighed. "When I finish, I guess." 

He had been finished eating for a nearly ten minutes now.

Ragnor noticed.

"Why are you avoiding him?"

Magnus looked down. "I'm not," he said. "I'm just... I don't know anymore..."

Ragnor frowned. "What happened?"

"Alec snapped at me."

"I don't understand. He's the prince, he has a lot of weight on his shoulders, he's bound to snap every now and then."

Magnus nodded. "I understand that. But he was so lost last night he asked me to kiss him and I denied him. He snapped. And I didn't know what to do so I just left."

Ragnor was silent.

And they stayed silent, and unsure what to say.

Ragnor took another bite of breakfast, probably stalling to think of something to say. "Why did you not kiss him?"

Magnus' head whipped up. "What?"

"It's obvious you want to."

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, but found nothing leaving his lips. Anger surged in his whole being and he grunted, slamming his hands on the table, and Ragnor flinched back. 

Magnus felt the hum under his skin, but quickly focused on his breathing, palms pressing into the table. He closed his eyes on concentration. "Sorry," he said as his magic died down.

"It's okay, Magnus."

He shook his head. "No, none of this is okay. Of course I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him senseless and tell him that I'm so attracted to him he never leaves my head. I want to tell him that he saved me from something dark. I want to tell him that I love talking to him and love being around him. I want to hug him, and kiss him, and be with him."

Ragnor frowned. "What is stopping you?"

Magnus scoffed. "What? Are you kidding? He's the prince and I'm his servant. I am out, he's not. He will king one day, while I will continue to be a servant. We just don't work."

Ragnor chuckled, smiling a gentle smile. Magnus missed that. "I don't think what others think or say should matter, Magnus." 

"Well no, but-"

"But what?"

Silence. 

Magnus thought for a moment.

"I don't know..."

There was a knock at the door, and someone entered without even a confirmation that they could. 

Magnus shot up from his seat when he saw who it was. "Alexander?"

Alec stood in the doorway, already dressed, hair fixed, and looking very nervous. "Magnus," he said, sounding awkward. "C-Can I, you know, talk to you?"

Magnus stood there baffled for a moment. He didn't think Alec would ever speak to him again. But Ragnor chuckled quietly behind him, clearing his throat to get his attention. Magnus shook his head.

"Yes, of course." He looked back at Ragnor, who was smirking, before exiting the room with Alec, standing in the hallway ready for whatever it was Alec had to say.

Alec stood there, scratching the back of his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but his throat wasn't working, so Magnus helped him out a bit. "Alexander, it's okay."

Alec shook his head. "No, it's not. I'm sorry that I snapped at you. I'm sorry I asked you to kiss me when I knew damn well that that was something you didn't want. I'm sorry that I acted like such an asshole. I'm so sorry," Alec finished, sucking in a breath.

Magnus blinked. He wasn't expecting an apology. More of a 'don't talk to me ever again'. But this... why was Alec so good? He didn't deserve good. He deserved all the pain in the world. 

"Alexander..." he whispered. He didn't know what to say.

"I only hope that you can forgive me. And I hope I can still accompany you tomorrow to the funeral."

Magnus waited a moment before breathing out in relief. "Of course you can, oh my god, yes." He hugged Alec.

Alec stood there dumbfounded for a moment, his breathing shallow. But finally, finally, he wrapped his arms around Magnus.

Magnus felt Alec clench his back as if afraid to ever let him go. He felt the fingernails sting his skin, but it wasn't necessarily painful. It was just very present, and it gave Magnus hope to say the next words that came out of his mouth.

"Just so you know, Alexander," he said into his chest, because he was much shorter than Alec. "It's not that I don't want it. I want it, you know that." 

They released each other, and Alec intensely looked down at Magnus. Magnus continued. "You know I want it. I've already admitted to that. I'm just..." he couldn't find his words. "I just... I'm scared Alexander-"

Alec hushed Magnus and pulled him back into a hug. "It's okay, Magnus. It's okay."

Magnus found that he quiet loved Alec's hugs.

...

They were in Alec's quarters, Alec eating Magnus' famous toast. They were talking, like they usually were, and Magnus' heart swelled. 

Isabelle hadn't been to see them yet today, and Alec and Magnus were a little worried for her. They knew this was hard for her too. 

Now that Magnus thought about it, he hadn't seen Jace since the feast from weeks ago. Magnus wondered how he was handling this. Maybe he didn't care. He hadn't tried to save the boy's life like Alec, Ragnor, and Isabelle did. 

He decided to ask, because he didn't think it would hurt.

"Jace Lightwood," was all he said, and Alec looked up from his toast to frown at him. "Sorry, I mean. How is he? I haven't seen him in weeks. It's like he never comes out."

Alec chuckled. "Oh he comes out," he said fondly. "He's just... around. I spoke to him yesterday after I blew up at my father. He was a little shocked."

"Shocked?" Magnus asked. "How? No offense, but your father has been doing this for decades now."

Alec nodded, though it was sad. "Yes, I know. I try to help him understand that he's killing innocents, but to my father, no Warlock is innocent." Alec sighed, and Magnus did too. "This is just so hard," he started. "This may sound strange, but I don't want to be king. I don't want the throne."

Magnus knew this, but he never understood why. "Why?" 

Alec didn't speak for a moment, as if thinking about what exactly it was he wanted to say. He opened his mouth. "It's just... I don't want the people to be disappointed in me."

Magnus shook his head quickly, making Alec look at him. "Alexander, you can do so many amazing things, but disappoint your people? No, impossible."

Alec snorted, smiling fondly. "My father has trained them to hate magic."

Magnus frowned. "What does that have to do with-"

"I am not going to ban magic like he has."

That made Magnus become very silent and aware of what the conversation and reasoning behind Alexander's wishes were. He wasn't going to persecute warlocks and magic wielders. Maybe one day, Alec would get to know him for who he was. But what did that have to do with the people?

Oh...

Oh... 

Magnus straightened his back, leaning back in his chair. "You don't want them to be angry when you take down the law."

Alec nodded, looking at his hands. "I don't want to give my people exactly the opposite of what they want."

Magnus took a deep breath, clearing his throat. "Alexander, I thought you knew your own people." He smiled.

Alec furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, not all of your people hate magic. There is fear, I will admit. Because it's something new, and something normal people can't understand. And it's human nature to fear something you can't understand. But not everyone in this kingdom hates magic, and not everyone loves to watch them die."

Alec chuckled. "You speak as if you know much about magic."

Magnus' heart raced. He forced a shaky smile. "Well, no, I just..." he shrugged.

Alec laughed, completely oblivious to Magnus' magic swirling inside him. "I'm just kidding, don't look so nervous. I wouldn't turn you in."

Magnus sucked in a breath. 'Wouldn't' was the word Alec used. Indicating that if he was, he wouldn't turn him in. Maybe Magnus should just tell him. 

"And I don't want to deal with the responsibilities of being king. It's not laziness, it's just... that's not what I want to do." Alec's eyes darkened, and his face turned hard. "And I don't want to deal with Valentine." He grit out.

Magnus blinked, tilting his head.

Valentine Morgenstern was the king of Circadia, the kingdom way past the mountains. Magnus knew them and Idris did not get along well at all. In fact, they were rival kingdoms. Idris was always planning attacks for them, but they never went through because Circadia would figure it out. 

As well as Circadia always planning attacks for Idris, which usually went downhill as well.

The two kingdoms hate each other. And Valentine hated Robert and everything about his family. 

Valentine has a son, the prince. His name is Sebastian, and Magnus heard stories of him not being very kind. In fact, ruthless.

Magnus hoped to never cross paths with him. 

"I don't blame you," Magnus started. "I hear he is pretty brutal."

Alec nodded. "He is," he said. "He once sent a Warlock to death by torturing it in front of the royal court. And I don't mean beating him. No... he completely tore him apart. It was a humiliating death, and painful."

Magnus shivered. He thought about things like that everyday, and how easily people in those predicaments could be him. 

"Have you voiced this out to your father?" Magnus asked.

Alec shrugged. "Well, yeah, that's why we don't get along very well. My mother despises it, so I tend to avoid her."

Magnus' heart kind of broke at that. He loved his mother, and wished for her to be back. He didn't want to see her get lowered into the ground tomorrow. He wanted to continue to get to laugh and live and love with her. 

Magnus wished Alec had that relationship, because it is precious, and never meant to be let go of.

"I'm sorry, Alexander," Magnus said. Alec just shrugged again. "You know, maybe later I can get Ragnor to cook you a big dinner to cheer you up," he smiled.

Alec smiled too. He chuckled, shaking his head. "You're unbelievable," he said.

Magnus made a mock hurt face. "Because I wish for my future king to be happy?"

Alec laughed again. "I don't need a big dinner to be happy, I just need you."

Magnus' smile felt slightly into a shy one, and Alec, having realized what he said, blushed bright red and tried to take it back. "I didn't mean- um- you know I just meant-"

"Alexander," Magnus said, a wide smile on his face. "I need you too."

Alec calmed a bit, and he looked bashful. "You make me want to be king."

Magnus blinked. "What?"

"It's people like you I want to be king for. It's people like you that deserve better than what my father and mother are giving. It's people like you I want to give a better life to." 

Magnus looked down, smile gone. "I'm afraid a better life is something I will never have. And not because you can't give it to me Alexander, it's because I can't give it."

Alec frowned. "I don't understand," he said.

"I know you don't," Magnus replied. "I can only hope one day you will." Alec didn't know what to say to that. Magnus chuckled softly. "Come on," he said, getting up from his seat. "I must prepare you for your training today."

Alec seemed to let it go, and stood up to allow Magnus to get him ready.

...

Magnus watched Alec train with his adoptive brother, and they were both really good. He had put make up on after dropping Alec off at the training grounds and came back to see the two in a sweaty fight.

A sweaty Alec equaled a turned on Magnus. Very turned on.

It was moments like this Magnus felt like he didn't want to let his feelings for Alexander go anymore. He just wanted to kiss him, hug him, grow with him. He wanted to have a life with him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he jolted, turning around to see Isabelle. He smiled. "My lady," he bowed.

She was smiling too, which was a good sign considering this mornings events. "I see Alec is training."

Magnus nodded, licking his lips. It was still cold out, but the temperature had gone up a bit so it wasn't too biting. "Yes, he very much is."

Isabelle looked to as if noticed something, and her smile grew bigger. "Your wearing makeup."

Magnus chuckled. "Yes, I am. I love all of it, thank you Isabelle."

She shook her head. "It's no problem, Magnus." She looked back at the two fighting. They were laughing, and clapping each other's backs when one won against the other. Isabelle took in a deep breath before speaking, and she sounded sad. "So your mother's funeral is tomorrow, am I correct?"

Magnus felt his heart squeeze. "Yes," he nodded. He was barely audible, and he cursed himself for it. 

"I am sorry," she said, looking at him. "I know I haven't really had a chance to say this to you, but I will always be here for you. Always. Whether that's in the middle of the night or the day, I will be there. If there's ever anything you need to speak to someone about, I will listen."

Magnus looked down at her, nodding. "Thank you, Isabelle. I will remember that."

She bowed then, and Magnus smiled softly. "It's the other way around too," he said. "If you ever need anyone I am here."

She smiled then too. "Thank you." 

The both went back to watching the two brothers training with each other, and Magnus saw Alexander knock the blonde boy straight on his ass. Magnus chuckled. "That's my boy," he mumbled.

Isabelle heard it. She looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "Your boy?"

As if realizing what he said, Magnus jolted a bit. "Yes, but I mean, not like that."

Isabelle smirked. "Come on, Magnus. I know how you two feel about each other, he talks about you all the time."

Magnus' heart raced. He smiled then. "He... He talks about me?"

"Mhm," he hummed. "Look, I know you two aren't doing anything about it, and for whatever reason, I don't think it matters. You two deserve to be happy."

"You don't understand," he tried.

"He says he's terrified he's falling in love with you," she said, voice serious.

A sharp intake of breath resounded from Magnus. He looked at her, brows furrowed. "He said what?"

Isabelle put a hand on his shoulder. "You heard me," she said gently. "And call me crazy, but I believe you are too. You just won't admit it to each other."

Magnus knew she was right. He'd been terrified he was falling for him more and more every time he saw him. 

It was physically killing him inside.

"Just think about," she said. "Besides," Isabelle chirped up. "If you two were to get together, we could easily keep that secret for a while until Alec was ready."

Isabelle gave one more squeeze on his shoulder before her heels clicked on the concrete as she walked away. 

And it was then he realized.

He had fallen head over heels with Alexander Lightwood, the prince of Idris.


	13. I Forgive You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how late this is, but I warned you guys this might happen because of school and color guard. We had our first competition this weekend and last week me had many rehearsals lasting until nearly 10 then I had homework so I just never got around to updating.
> 
> Also this chapter sucks I'm sorry.
> 
> Trigger warning for this chapter: funerals, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, suicide

Magnus woke the next day feeling awful, and sad, knowing today was the day; his mother would be buried. His heart felt heavy, and he heard Ragnor shuffling around in the main room, knowing he was making breakfast. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want to do anything.

More weight pressed down in his chest.

He didn't even move to get up, even though he knew he would have to wake Alexander soon. He didn't necessarily care at the moment. He needed this moment where he just stared out the window at the sunlight peeking inside. He needed this solace where he felt nothing. Nothing but heaviness. 

He deserved this. He deserved this nothingness and everything at the same time. He couldn't save her. 

He left her.

And that would forever be why his mother is dead. That would forever be why she isn't in the world anymore.

He took a deep breath, turning over on his side, and let it go. He curled up in his blanket, and decided to just fall back asleep.

...

Ragnor's soft shaking woke him up an hour later. His eyes fluttered open to see his gentle smile, looking sympathetic. He whispered. "Magnus," and that was all he said. That was all he needed to say to allow Magnus to know that this was something he would have to get up for, and accept.

Magnus just looked at him, and nodded. He pursed his lips and pushed the covers off of him. He swung his legs over the side of his cot, Ragnor still by his side. Magnus didn't stand, just continued to sit on the edge of the bed. Ragnor took a seat next to him, taking a slow breath. "Magnus," he said again.

Magnus didn't look at him. 

"I know this is hard, my boy. I know."

Magnus felt his hands tremble. 

"You feel lost right now, and I don't blame you. You just lost your mother."

His legs began to shake even though he wasn't using them.

"She's gone, Magnus."

The shaking spread through his whole body, and his lips quivered as tears welled in his eyes. 

"You must go say goodbye to her today."

Tears fell then. They flowed, and they didn't stop, and Magnus was afraid it never would stop. Ragnor pulled him into his embrace, and Magnus continued to shake in his arms. 

"I can't do it... Ragnor, I can't..." he sobbed.

"You can, Magnus. You can, you can do anything."

Magnus shook his head. "Not this."

Ragnor rubbed circles on his back. "I know it feels like that right now, but I promise, you can." 

Magnus sobbed, his chest constricting. Breathing hurt. Swallowing hurt. Crying hurt. Everything hurt.

His heart was in pieces. 

Ragnor held him for another thirty minutes before Magnus was sober enough to get ready to wake Alexander.

Ragnor had asked him if he wanted to eat breakfast, but Magnus just shook his head, and left to wake the prince.

They both had a long day ahead of them.

...

"My lord," he whispered, gently shaking the prince awake. Alec groaned, turning over to look at Magnus. But when he looked at him, his gaze was full of sorrow, sympathy... love.

Magnus was sure he was looking at him the same way. 

"Magnus," Alec said, sitting up and rubbing the sleep in his eyes away. He sighed, then looked back at Magnus. "Are you ready for this?"

Magnus just shrugged.

The aura everywhere was tense. Ragnor's was tense, and now, the one place Magnus could go to to just relax, was worse. 

Alec stood from the bed, looking down at Magnus. "I'm so sorry," he said, grabbing Magnus' hands. "I'll be there, all day, Magnus. I'll be there for you."

Magnus smiled shyly, and nodded. "Thank you, Alexander."

Alec smiled, and Magnus began to get his clothes ready. "I guess your all black fetish will come in handy today..." Magnus mumbled, trying to bring some light to things, but he sounded pathetic.

Alec tried to go along with the joke, but looked awkward with the really fake smile. "I guess..."

Magnus pulled out a black tunic and black trousers from the armoire, and pulled down Alexander's favorite black boots. He helped get Alec into the clothes, and then looked at him, making sure he looked alright. 

"Okay," he said. "You're ready..." his voice cracked.

Magnus looked down at his own black clothes that were actually Ragnor's because he didn't have a black shirt. The pants were his; the shirt not so much.

"Are you?" Alec asked him.

Magnus pushed down his tears again, and nodded shakily. "I guess, as ready as I can be." 

Alec just looked sympathetic. "Have you been to your village since you came here?"

"No," he said. "Now I wish I had..."

"This isn't your fault, Magnus," Alec protested, taking a step closer to him. "None of this is your fault."

Magnus didn't look convinced. "I know what she goes through... I know what we have gone through, and I know she has been struggling with depression for years, but... I wasn't... I just..." he grunted. "I just didn't know she would ever, ever... do that..." his voice broke off, and one tear slid down his cheek. He'd been crying all morning. He probably looked pathetic. 

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "Sorry," he said, his walls back up.

"Don't apologize," Alec shook his head. "Don't apologize for this."

Magnus still wasn't convinced, but nodded anyways. And Alec didn't look reassured, but they both decided to let it go together. 

"Shall I prepare the horses?" Magnus asked quietly, as if trying to block emotions.

Alec shook his head. "No, allow me."

Magnus chortled. "Alexander, do you actually know how to prepare horses?" 

Magnus knew because Alec was royalty, things had always been handed to him, even if that wasn't how Alec himself wanted it. It didn't matter. He was royalty, so things were done for him.

Alec looked awkward. "Um..." he cleared his throat. "No..."

Magnus chuckled again. "It's okay, I would like to prepare the horses for you."

Magnus realized that was the first time all day he had genuinely laughed. He was just about to exit to the stables to gather two horses for them, but Alec grabbed his elbow and pulled him to look at him. He looked at him intensely and Magnus looked up just the same. 

Then Alec said two words that made Magnus' heart fall for him even more than he already admitted to himself.

"For us," Alec whispered.

Magnus was so close to leaning in and kissing Alec, but knew it just couldn't happen, no matter how much he loved him.

He just nodded, and pulled out of Alec's gentle grip, and left to the stables.

...

Gathering the horses was easier than expected, considering he'd never done that before. He'd always wanted a horse, back when he was still living in the village. His mother always worked to try to afford one, but they always spent the money on the most food they could get. 

Which wasn't a lot.

Of course, his step-father never gave a rip.

Alec's horse, which was snow white with deep blue eyes, was absolutely beautiful. Much like Alec. Except Alec's hazel eyes were more beautiful than the blue. 

He always loved blue eyes, but something about Alec's made the color hazel look so colorful; so vivid.

Alec had another horse, that literally was like Alec. Pitch, midnight black with dark brown eyes. The hair on the black horse had a shine to it, that shimmered. She was beautiful. 

If Magnus remembered correctly that white horses name was Cotton, and he was energetic. The black horses name was Onyx. And she was much more reserved.

It was like to two horses reflected the two sides of Alexander. The more energetic one while around Magnus, the one Magnus knew was actually Alexander. And then the reserved one, the one with his shell while around his parents and weighed down by royalty.

Magnus let the thoughts go, knowing he was starting to think about how much he loved it. 

He hooked all the hooks and snaps needed to make sure all the saddles and bags were secured properly, and brought them to the entrance of the castle. Alexander was already walking down the many stone stairs when Magnus turned the corner. 

Alec smiled his sweet smile, and Magnus reflected it. 

He didn't understand how he could be hurting so horribly right now, yet Alexander make his heart feel so light.

How could you feel those two emotions at once? 

Is that what love is? Wanting it so bad and knowing you can't have it? 

He wanted it so damn bad.

He shook his head as Alexander neared the side of him. "Thanks for getting Cotton and Onyx."

Magnus waved his hand. "No problem, that's my job. Besides, I love horses. I've always wanted one, but my mother could never afford it..."

Alec nodded, looking sad again. 

Magnus blinked, taking a deep breath. "Sorry, can we um... can we just go. I need to get this over with."

Alec swallowed, and nodded. "Of course, Magnus. I'll be here the whole time, okay?" Alec grabbed his hands. "Right here," he whispered. 

Magnus was shocked at Alexander's show of affection in public. No one seemed to think anything of it. 

"Lets go," Alec said, leading Magnus to Cotton. Magnus chuckled inwardly, suspecting Alec would want to ride Onyx. He helped Magnus on the horse, and then Alec got onto his with ease. 

Alec rustled the reigns gently, and Onyx began moving. Magnus mimicked him, and Cotton took off after Onyx. 

...

It was nearly two hours later that they were nearing the "small mountains" that Alec found so funny. Magnus still wasn't sure why. They had been silent the whole ride so far, but Magnus was thankful for it. He needed silence to be able to prepare himself for this. He was scared. He was absolutely terrified to move on in life without her, and it scared him so much he almost wanted to follow her again. But when he thought about Ragnor and Alec, Isabelle and Clary... he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He was glad he couldn't do it. He wanted to get to know Alexander more than he did. Same with Clary and Izzy. They were the most chill royalty ever. They weren't demanding and... like their parents, to be honest. 

Especially Robert, who was just a bigot. Who would have his head on a pike in seconds if he knew that he was a Warlock. He would probably have a heart attack knowing he'd been walking the castle and serving his own son; the heir to the throne.

It made him laugh when he thought about it. 

When they arrived at the outskirts of the village, there were few people surrounding a closed wooden box sitting next to a dug up, square hole in the ground. Magnus felt his heart thump in his chest, and he could feel Alec's cautious eyes on him, but he didn't look back at him. He just stared forward at the casket. 

He could feel tears welling, but said he would not let them fall. And he didn't.

Yet...

He and Alexander tied the horses on a near tree, and made their way towards the very obvious funeral. Magnus' legs were shaking, and he thought he was going to fall down, but Alec had his arms around him before he could fall. 

Magnus silently thanked him, and Alec helped him to the small crowd of people mourning her death.

But it made Magnus angry. No one was even actually mourning her death. No one at the village cared about them. They were just here because now they felt guilty about how they treated her before she died. 

His blood was boiling, but he didn't have the energy to get angry. 

Many of the people recognized him as Viessa's son, Magnus, but Magnus did not acknowledge them when they gave him their condolences. He didn't appreciate them. 

And Alec was by his side the whole time like he said he would be. 

It was a few more minutes before someone came and put a hand on his shoulder, and gestured towards the casket. 

Alec was still holding on to Magnus.

Magnus knew this was it. He would have to say his personal goodbyes before they lowered her to the ground. 

He was trembling while he walked up to her. He wished he could see her. He wanted to see her, but knew this was closed casket. He wasn't sure why. 

Most funerals were open casket, but he guessed because it was suicide it was more personal, and even though the villagers didn't like her, they still understood privacy. 

He leaned down on his knees, with the help of Alec, and then Alec stood back away to give him his last moments with her. 

Magnus didn't know what to do. He sat there for a good five minutes before he spoke any words.

"You... You always told me to keep fighting..." his voice was shaking, but he still did not let tears fall. He could still feel Alec's eyes on him. "You taught me..." his chest heaved. "You taught me to endure what was unbearable... and bear it. That is all..." 

Magnus didn't see it, but Alec was crying behind him. 

"And yet... here you are," Magnus choked, and finally, one tear fell. He was trembling. "You told me to keep fighting, and you told me... you told me you would never leave me. You swore to me..." his voice had taken on a more bitter tone, and he wasn't shocked. He was angry. He wanted to scream. "You lied..." 

"Magnus," Alec tried, but Magnus didn't acknowledge him. 

"You lied to me... you've been lying to me from the day our step-father came into our lives... you've been lying to me since he died... since I killed him..." Magnus heard Alec gasp, and was suddenly grateful Alec was the only one who could hear him. If anyone else heard him say that, they would kill him for murder.

Alec didn't speak.

Magnus did.

"You're a liar. Just a liar..." his voice began to whisper, and he was slacking. "Liar...."

"Magnus," Alec tried again. 

"But here's the thing, ibu," Magnus said. "I love you, and I can't live without you, but I will try... Because of this:" he leaned down to rest his head on the lid of the casket, and tears flowed then. "I forgive you."

And he broke down.

Magnus felt hands around him, holding him, but he wasn't sure who it was. Probably Alec. It was then Magnus was aware of the make up Isabelle gave him running down his face. 

But again, he didn't care.

He just broke.

...

The wind was blowing a bit more than before when Alec managed to get Magnus away from his mother and over to the crowd of people watching; watching others lift the casket and put it into the ground. 

Alec still had his arms around him, and Magnus leaned his head inside Alec's arms to hide himself as he cried. 

He wished he could hide forever. 

Alec heard him admit out loud that he was the reason his step father was dead. Alec probably saw him differently. Alec most definitely didn't like him anymore.

Did Alec love him? 

He didn't know. And he couldn't think about it because they started to dig up dirt and throw it into the hole his mother would now forever be down. 

His knees buckled, and his chest heaved, and Alec gently lowered him to the ground and just held him tighter.

...

It was nearly an hour later after the service when Magnus was calmed down enough to speak. He and Alexander were off by themselves, isolated in the trees blocking the sunlight. Alec was standing behind Magnus, who had his back turned. He could feel Alec wanting to talk to him, wanting to figure this out, but he didn't know what he would say. 

What was he supposed to say? Should he tell Alec the truth? The full truth? 

No... no, no, no, no, no... he couldn't. He just couldn't. Alec would... 

What?

What would he do...?

No, Magnus thought, this was just something Alec could never know. 

Not yet, anyways.

"Magnus," Alec finally said, but his voice cracked ever so slightly. 

Magnus took a deep breath, and turned around to face Alec for the first time in nearly two hours. He didn't say anything. 

Alec swallowed. "Magnus, look, I know this will be awkward, but I have to know," he paused, taking a step closer. "You told me your step father was abusive, and a drunk, am I correct?"

Magnus pressed his lips together, and nodded.

"And... and you also told me that he died, is that right?"

Magnus nodded again.

Alec took a deep breath before asking the final question. "You said he drowned... is that... was that a lie?"

Magnus' chest tightened. He licked his lips and bit them as they trembled. He looked away, and slowly, he nodded. 

Alec took another step. "Magnus, talk to me. What happened?"

Magnus sighed, still avoiding eye contact. "I killed him..." he choked out.

Alec gasped.

"I did it... but... I..." he couldn't get his words out.

Alec was now right next to him. He pulled Magnus' chin to face him, but it wasn't forceful, of aggressive. It was gentle, and careful. "Magnus," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, for whatever it is that you have gone through." 

Magnus' mouth slipped open slightly in shock. His forehead creased in confusion. "What..?"

Alec's hands were on Magnus' cheeks, gently caressing the thumbs against the skin. "I'm so sorry, Magnus. I'm sorry," he whispered, and he was tearing up, and Magnus was just shocked. "I'm sorry," he said again, kissing his cheek softly. "I'm sorry," he did it again. "I'm so sorry," and again.

Finally, finally, Magnus did what he has wanted to do since the moment he bumped in to him when he first came here. He grabbed Alexander's collar of his shirt, and pulled him in for a real kiss. 

Full on the mouth.

At first, Alec was shocked, and he moved his hands away from Magnus' face in confusion, but then, when he realized what was going on he grabbed Magnus' elbows and pulled him even closer. 

The kiss was messy, yet coordinated at the same time. Their tongues were searching for entry, but they were both hesitant to let them through, but somehow, they did, and they were playing with each other. 

Magnus couldn't describe what it was like. He'd never felt more alive in such a devastating time. He'd never felt so light. He'd never felt so real. All of his life he'd been focused on keeping his mother happy and sane, and never once thought about his own sanity, and what it would mean to save it. 

But this... 

This was it. This would save him.

Alexander Lightwood would save him.

He didn't know how, but they were suddenly apart and breathing deeply, catching their breaths, and staring at one another. 

It was intense, yet calm at the same time.

How did Alexander manage to break the laws of physics like he did?

"I'm sorry," Alexander whispered one more time.

"No," Magnus said. He pulled Alec to him before Alec could walk away, and Alec looked at him confused. "No, I'm done not getting what I want. This, you, Alec, I want you, I want you so damn bad." He was speaking quickly, rushed, and then he pulled him down for another quick peck on the lips.

"It's you, Alexander, and it has always been you."

Alec smiled shyly, and leaned his forehead on Magnus'. "As it has been you, Magnus."

"I promise, Alexander, I will explain what happened to my step father... but right now-"

Alec was shaking his head against Magnus'. "No, I know. Lets just... enjoy this, please."

"Yes," Magnus nodded. "Yes, please. Please..."

And they began kissing again.

They kissed for a while, but soon they realized they needed to get back to the castle and inform Ragnor that Magnus was okay, and would be okay, and that Viessa was now okay. 

But little did they know, that when they arrived, they would be under attack by Valentine and his forces.


	14. The Truth Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title is a bit of a troll. Sorry...
> 
> Anyways I decided to update really quickly because I feel really bad about making you guys wait so long. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Ragnor was standing in the king's quarters as Robert was slipping his boots on and getting his sword holster to wrap around his waist. He was by the window, watching the crowned prince and Magnus ride away on their horses to Viessa's funeral. He couldn't stand not being able to go, but he knew he couldn't. This was Magnus' day, his time to say goodbye. Ragnor has already said goodbye. 

"I don't know why my son insists on going to that servant's mother's funeral," Robert said, tying up the strings on his boots. "He's the prince, he has better duties to do."

Ragnor inwardly rolled his eyes. He turned around to face the king, plastering a fake smile on his face. "Well, he is a good son, and a very compassionate person. He just wanted to make sure his friend would be alright."

Robert grimaced. "Friend?"

Ragnor nodded.

"I did not place that boy as Alec's servant to become his friend. Alec doesn't need friends. He needs to stay focused." Robert stood from the stool he sat on to tie his boots, and went to pick up the sword holster from the bed. 

Ragnor followed behind him. "Well, yes, but sometimes friends help people concentrate."

"That homely boy won't do any good for my son," Robert said.

"His name is Magnus," Ragnor finally snapped, but when Robert looked at him like he'd disrespected him, shocked, Ragnor took a deep breath. "My apologies."

Robert blinked, but sighed anyways. "It's alright, I know what the boy is to you. Which is fine, you're not the prince," Robert said. He then looked at Ragnor sympathetically. "And I know how you have struggled since your friend betrayed you."

Ragnor's blood began to boil, but he knew not to get angry again, or show the king that he was still bothered by it. He just faked another smile. "You did it for the best," he lied. "She was... enchanting me." He forced it.

Robert smiled and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "I'm glad you see the truth for what it is." Ragnor took a deep breath to control himself. "And Ragnor," the king started again. "I'm glad I can trust you again."

Ragnor wanted to punch him. "As am I, my lord."

Robert smiled sweetly and nodded to him. He squeezed his shoulder before walking to the door. "Come now, my friend," he said. "We have business today."

Ragnor knew a lot of that business was boring meetings about how to deal with the threat of Valentine, like they usually were, but Valentine hadn't striked at them in years. And Ragnor was beginning to believe he never would. 

...

Isabelle smiled as Clary brushed through her hair, speaking about Alec and his servant. "I mean," Clary said. "It's obvious they like each other. So why don't they do anything?"

Isabelle chuckled. "It's complicated," she said. "I spoke to Magnus about."

Clary's mouth fell open in shock as she began to braid. "Oh, no way."

Isabelle smiled and nodded. "Yes I did."

"What did he say?"

"He tried to tell me it was too hard and they just weren't meant for each other, but... I think I got him to see reason," Isabelle smirked. "I told him that it shouldn't matter what people think about them, and even if they were still nervous about that, we could easily keep that secret."

Clary nodded. "This is true," she said.

"I am almost hoping they will see reason for each other soon, and not just for themselves."

Clary frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I just mean that they don't realize that they're hurting each other as well as themselves. Alec is hurting because Magnus won't do anything about it and Magnus is hurting for the same reason."

Clary finished one braid and moved on to the next. "But didn't you tell me once that Alec actually tried but Magnus stopped him."

"Yes, but because he didn't want to pressure Alec into anything. Not because he didn't want him."

Clary nodded again. "I see," she said. "Magnus is very compassionate to do that."

"Yes," Isabelle said. "But also almost a little selfish. They're both being selfish. Because they're hurting each other."

"But it's not like they're being selfish and hurting each other on purpose."

Isabelle denied quickly. "Oh, no, I know that. Of course I know that. It's just... I think they should see that they really do love each other, and it doesn't matter what others say."

Clary's hands froze in Isabelle's hair. "Love?"

Isabelle smiled, nodding. "Mhm," she hummed. "Very much so."

Clary shivered in anticipation. "I just hope they can be happy. They both really deserve it."

Isabelle's face suddenly turned sad. "Yes," she whispered. "Alec, for years, has been pressured to be a good king, and a good prince, when our parents don't realize that he already is. He's just young is all, and inexperienced. He deserves a break from it."

Clary agreed. "And Magnus just lost his mother..."

Isabelle hummed again. "I know... and to suicide... I can't even begin to imagine what he is going through..." 

"I'm sorry, m'lady."

"It's not me who needs the condolences."

"Of course," Clary said. "Done," she chirped, and Isabelle smiled upon seeing her hair in a braided bun. There were cute little flyaways hanging towards her sideburns and neck. 

"It's beautiful, thank you Clary."

"Of course, lady Isabelle."

They both smiled at each other, but they fell when urgent knocking was banging on their door. Isabelle stood immediately as guards burst into her room. "What is going on?" She demanded.

"I am sorry, my lady, but there are forces nearing the castle. The king has ordered us to get you to safety." He was gasping, as if he had been running. Probably was, though.

Isabelle's heart began pounding. "Valentine?"

The guard confirmed nodding. "Yes, my lady."

"Oh, my God..." she whispered. "What about Jace, where is he?"

"He refuses to be taken to safety. He says he will fight in the battle like the knight that he is." 

Isabelle smiled proudly. "Well," she said. "Then I will just have to fight too." 

"No offense, my lady, but you are no knight."

"No, but I can help with the injuries. My father has trained me enough to do that."

The guard sighed, as if frustrated. "Yes, my lady."

"But," Isabelle started before the guards could run out. "You take my servant to safety."

"Your servant?" The guard blanched.

Clary intervened. "My lady, no, I stay right here by you."

Isabelle grabbed her shoulders. "Clary, this is Valentine we're talking about."

"I don't care, I stay by you." Clary defended herself.

Isabelle looked to be contemplating it, but broke under pressure. "Alright, but you do not leave my side."

"Yes, my lady."

The battle had officially begun.

...

Magnus watched Alec as he lead Magnus' horse through his own, and he was sure Alec knew he was staring, but bless him, he didn't mention anything. He was still in shock. He couldn't believe that they had kissed; that Alexander actually wanted to kiss him. 

He thought for sure after discovering Magnus was the reason his step-father was dead, he would be repulsed; call him a murderer, and a monster.

Everyone does, at one point. Even the people he thought loved him the most. 

And if Alexander claims to love him like Isabelle says, then... he must leave, right? What should make Alexander any different.

But he was different. He didn't call Magnus a monster. So maybe he never would.

"We're almost there, Magnus," Alec said, looking over his shoulder back at Magnus. He was smiling. Magnus smiled back.

"Good," he said. "I'll cook us some dinner when we get home."

Alec nodded. "Okay," he said.

Magnus' smile fell after Alec looked away. He felt guilty smiling like he was. His mother was dead, driven away by suicide, and here he was: getting together with Alexander. 

He looked up at the sky, and realized it was nearing dark. The sun was falling, and the moon was beginning to show through the clouds. He felt like he was looking at his mother, somehow. Like she was there. 

Cheering him on.

He smiled shyly. "I'm finally doing what you've always wanted me to," he whispered to the sky. "I'm getting my happiness..." he smiled wider as he looked back in front of him at Alec. 

"Are you going to tell Izzy?" Alec asked over Magnus' thoughts. 

Magnus chuckled. "What?"

Alec looked back. "I mean... is Izzy going to be all squealy because you told her we kissed."

Magnus smiled. "If you don't wish for anyone to know, then they won't."

Alec nodded. "Just... let me tell her. Okay?"

Magnus smiled wider. "Of course, my Alexander."

Alec blushed at the name, turning around quickly to hide it, though Magnus caught it. 

It was silent for a while, just the sky darkening more and more, and the stars coming out. There were crickets chirping through out the night, and owls were beginning to hoot. 

It was peaceful. But then Alexander asked the question.

"So," he said awkwardly. "Your step-father..."

Magnus sucked in a breath, then slowly let it out. "Yes," he said.

"You killed him," it wasn't a question.

Magnus took a breath again. "Yes," he repeated, voice grave.

He heard Alec swallow. "H... How?"

Magnus bit his bottom lip for a while before answering. "He hated me, Alexander..." he began. "A lot. Enough to want to kill me..."

Alec's shoulders tensed. "Are you saying... that he tried-"

"Yes," Magnus answered quickly. "It was nighttime, and he'd kicked me out of the cottage that night. I remember trying to find some sort of comfort in myself, but all I did was cry."

"What about your mother? Why couldn't she get you back in?" Alec asked, but it wasn't with accusation.

"She did try, but he just hit her and that was all it took for me to tell her to stop trying and let it be. I cared about her more." His voice shook a little talking about his mother. "Anyways, my mother had fallen asleep early that night." Twigs snapped under the horses' hooves as they advanced further into the forest towards the castle. "My step-father took that as his opportunity to strike..." he breathed deeply. "I was sleeping behind the cottage when it happened."

Alec's tense shoulders, tensed even more. "What happened?"

Magnus swallowed. "He grabbed me by my hair, and beat me first. Which... sadly, this wasn't shocking for me. He beat me often. Quiet often, in fact." 

"I'm sorry," Alec said.

Magnus shrugged. He was glad Alec couldn't see him. "But what did shock me was when he grabbed my hair again and began dragging me further and further away from the house. I remember fighting him, harder than I ever had in the past, but he was just so much more stronger than me."

Alec nodded, listening intently.

"He took me near the river just a little outside the village, and I knew then and there what it was he was planning to do."

Alec sighed in realization. "You said he drowned."

"Yes."

"But he was the one drowning you."

"Yes," Magnus said again. "He threw me in the water, and before I knew it, I was being held down and water was rushing in my lungs and I couldn't breathe and I was struggling but nothing was working-"

"Magnus..." Alec stopped him.

Magnus was gasping, and he closed his eyes against the memory. "Sorry..." he said.

"Don't apologize, Magnus. It's okay."

"No... it's not. I killed him. I fought back against him and killed him."

"How?"

Magnus' throat closed up. He thought quickly about a lie to say. "I... I had a... a pocket knife in my pants, and hoped that it hadn't fallen out and sunk at the bottom of the river. I was lucky, for once in my life."

Alec hummed, nodding his head. "I see."

"I stabbed him wherever I could, and it stuck in his throat..." he felt bad lying to Alexander, but he didn't have a choice. 'I'm sorry' he thought to himself.

"I'm so sorry, Magnus."

Magnus shrugged again. "It is what it is..."

"But it shouldn't be..."

"But it's okay that it is," Magnus said, and when Alec looked back at him confused, Magnus smiled. "My mother sent me here to be healed by Ragnor, mental therapy you could say." It wasn't totally a lie. "And if none of that had happened, I would not have met you."

Alec smiled. "Hm," he hummed. "I'm glad I met you too, I'm just sorry it happened like it did."

"Sometimes... things don't work out the way we wish they would."

Alec nodded again. "Yes, this is true."

They were just coming over the hill to see the city, but when they came up on top, they both gasped. They were now next to each other, looking between themselves and the castle, shocked. 

Fire was burning up from the castle, and smoke was rising up from the stones of the kingdom, and the villages, and the grass. Everything was burning.

Some of the castle was broken down, the stone cracked and some of it gone. 

They had been attacked. 

"Oh, my God..." Alec whispered. His eyes were wide, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. 

Magnus realized he was panicking. But so was he. He was in the same predicament as Alexander. Was Ragnor okay? What about Isabelle and Clary?

"Alexander..." was all he could make out.

It was quiet, as if the attack happened forever ago. 

They exchanged one more frightened look before Alexander ordered the horses into full sprint down to the castle.


	15. Overthrown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to do flashbacks of attack, but every time I wrote it it was crap and this just worked out SO MUCH BETTER! This chapter was really really fun to write.
> 
> I'm sick and sad that I'm not that school (I know, shocking right?) so I decided to make something of today and update.
> 
> But. Like. This. Was. So. Fun. To. Write.
> 
> By the way, there's a major character death in here, but they're not major in MY story. Sorry...
> 
> Anyways, please please enjoy as much as I did!!

Alec and Magnus had tied their horses on a branch just a little outside the castle. If the attackers were still here, the horses would draw too much attention. They needed to stay in the dark, and keep quiet. 

Alec had his sword drawn and was walking cautiously with one hand covering Magnus, who stalked behind him. Magnus thought it was sweet, but couldn't think about that at a time like this.

Some of the flames were still going, though small and dying, and some still burning inside the townhouses of the villagers. Bodies littered the floor, blood pooling around them. Alec saw knights of Idris, but then found another body not of his men. He had chained armor on and was face down in the dirt. But unlike the blue capes of Idris, this one was green. 

Alec clenched his teeth. "Valentine..." 

Magnus' head snapped away from looking horrified at a young child lying down in a pool of her own blood, to Alec. "What?"

Alec's hands fisted into themselves, knuckles going white. "Valentine did this." 

Magnus didn't know what to say. "Well... I mean, what do we do?" 

Suddenly, they heard marching, and Alec looked over to see three green caped men walking in their direction. Alec looked over at Magnus and could see the fear in them, but didn't have time to comfort him. "Quick, get down." He grabbed his elbow and pulled him behind a broken stand that used to hold fruit for the villagers to buy.

Valentine's men marched right past them, and Alec heard Magnus sigh in relief. Alec knew good and well that Magnus was used to battle. But the kind of battle that's in your head. He was no where near used to the physical battle of war. He gently grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to look at him. "Hey," he spoke gently. "Everything is going to be fine, alright?"

Magnus nodded, but didn't look convinced. 

"I'm serious, Magnus. I won't let anything hurt you." Alec spoke again.

Magnus just nodded again, and changed the subject. "We need to find Ragnor, and Isabelle." Then his eyes widened as if realizing something. "Oh, my god, and Clary." 

Alec saw the panic rise in his eyes. "Hey, Magnus, look at me, yeah?" Magnus did, though his eyes were frightened. "We're going to find them. Don't worry, we're going to find them."

Magnus took a deep breath to calm his nerves, and nodded, this time much more convinced, though unsure.

Alec allowed them a second a solace before engaging himself in battle. "We need to get into the castle," he whispered. "But we have to be quiet. This involves a lot of stealth."

Magnus blinked, nodding. "Okay..." he said questionably. "Look, Alexander... I am not... trained for this or anything. And I don't want to be the reason you get hurt."

"I won't," Alec protested. "I'll be fine, and so will you. Don't worry about anything, we'll get through this. We just have to be quiet." 

Magnus swallowed. "Okay, okay..."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good," Alec said. "Come on. Lets go."

...

They were running, though being as quiet as possible, to get to a back way inside the castle. It was already made obvious that there would be some of Valentines men standing guard at the doors. 

Magnus was doing good at staying calm. Alec looked calm, but wasn't in the inside. He had all of the same worries as Magnus did. 

They came across some more guards, but hid quickly and stayed out of sight. They smiled gently at each other and continued on their way.

They made it to a caged entrance to the dungeons of the castle, and thought, if this was Valentine, this is where he would be putting the royal court if he hadn't killed them yet. 

Alec and Magnus worked hard to get the cage open, and ducked inside. It was dark, nearly pitched black, but Alec knew these halls pretty well and had an idea of where they were going.

"Magnus, grab my hand." He said, and felt fingers slide into his. "Don't let go, okay?"

"Okay."

They advanced forward into the corridors. It was eerily silent. All they could hear was the sound of the wind drafting through the halls. There was also each other's breathing, but they both found that to be a solace. It was a reminder that, even if they lost the ones they loved, they still had each other. They were still there for each other.

All Magnus could think about was Ragnor. A brother he had been gifted with since he got here. A best friend. He didn't want to think about him being the one Sebastian tortured in front of the royal court.

Magnus thought about that a lot. It could be him, or Ragnor.

It could be Ragnor right now.

His breathing began to pace a bit, and he felt Alec squeeze his hand. He couldn't help but squeeze back. "You're okay," Alec whispered. "You're okay."

Magnus was able to calm a bit, and tried not to think about Ragnor.

It didn't work quiet well.

Suddenly, they saw a light at the end of the tunnel, and knew that was the dungeons. They were holding on to all hopes that that was where everyone was.

But if they were, there would be guards. 

And they were right. They saw a green caped man sit on a barrel and eat a slice of bread. Even though they were in the guards direct line of sight, it was too dark for him to notice them there.

"Alexander," Magnus whispered. "What do we do?"

Alec thought for a moment. "Go into battle," was all he said. "Stay here," he ordered, and let go of his hand. But before Alec left his side, he grabbed his face gently and pulled him into a kiss. 

Magnus was glad to kiss back. 

They let go of each other with a breath. "Don't come out until I signal." Alec said.

Magnus nodded. "Okay. Be careful, please."

"Don't worry," Alec reassured, but his unsure voice was anything but reassuring. 

He took off. He didn't hesitate when he left the darkness of the tunnel into the light of the dungeon. The guard stepped up quickly, but he was too slow to draw his sword. Magnus watched Alec punch him, then, because his sword was already drawn, he ran him through. 

Usually, a sight like that would traumatize someone, but Magnus knew this was war. He sort of wanted to kill one of them too. 

Another guard came on Alec's left side and managed a punch to his rib, but Alec reacted fast. He spun his legs under the other's and he fell to the floor. Alec ran him through next.

The last guard came behind him, and Alec was ready. He elbowed him in the jaw, and quickly turned around to run him through next.

Magnus was thinking, Valentine's men weren't very trained well. Although, they're just cell guards. There could be way better fighters up in the castle.

Magnus waited for Alec to signal, and when he did, Magnus came through into the light himself. And of all things for him to say, he said: "That was really hot."

Alec chuckled, and blushed a bit, but also knew he needed to find his family. He was smiling shyly. "Lets go."

They advanced into the line of cells, but all he could see were many of Idris' knights. Many of them tried to grab the prince's attention, but all he could worry about was his family and friends. 

They came across the last cell, and Magnus smiled wide when he saw Ragnor leaning against the stone wall. "Ragnor," he breathed.

Ragnor shot up from his seated position and walked to the bars. "Magnus? Alec? What the hell are you doing here?"

Alec scoffed. "Well considering this is our home... What happened?"

"Valentine's men just came out of nowhere. I was with the king and queen when it happened. We were having a meeting in the throne room. We got word of him nearing the castle and we got to work to fight back, but we weren't fast enough."

Alec nodded, but then tried to make the situation lighter with a joke. "Wow, I'm surprised you weren't cooking up potions, it is what you do more than half the time."

Ragnor rolled his eyes. "Alec, look, you can't be here. Valentine is here for you."

Alec took a shocked step back, and Magnus looked back at him. "Wait," Magnus started. "What do you mean?"

"Alec," Ragnor started. "He has your father in the throne room."

"What about mother?" He asked.

Ragnor bit his lip, and looked away. Magnus knew what he meant. 

The queen was dead.

Alec didn't want to believe it. "Ragnor?" His voice shook.

"Alexander," Magnus tried. 

"No," Alec was shaking his head. "Wait a moment... no..." 

"Alec," Magnus tried again, and he walked up to him, grabbing his shoulders to get his attention. "Alexander, look at me." Alec did, but with wide eyes. "When we got here, you told me everything was going to be fine, yeah? Hey, look at me. You told me everything was going to okay, and it still is. Yes? Everything is going to be okay."

"Mother..." was all Alec whispered.

"I'm sorry, Alexander." Magnus whispered back, and pulled him into a kiss this time, though it was short, and comforting.

"Wait," Ragnor said. Magnus turned around to see him shocked. "Did you two just kiss?" Magnus looked back at Alec, who sadly nodded, and Magnus then nodded at Ragnor. "That's amazing..."

Alec cleared his throat, putting up a wall behind his emotions. "Where is Isabelle, and Jace? What about Clary?"

"I do not know where Isabelle and Jace are, but I know they took all of the house servants to be tested for something, but I don't know what that means." 

Alec sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Okay... um, okay. Lets just, go to the throne room and see what's going on in there."

Magnus nodded. He went to Ragnor first. "Don't worry, Ragnor. We'll get you out of there, but soon."

Ragnor chuckled. "Just go."

Magnus was hesitant, but nodded, and followed Alec out.

...

"There is a balcony in the throne room to the back for some spectators to watch ceremonies," Alec explain, quickly walking towards their destination. "We'll go there." Magnus was struggling to keep up, and was looking at Alec cautiously. He was afraid he would break. Magnus knew what this moment was like.

Although Alec seemed to be handling it better than Magnus did. Magnus ran to the woods because his magic quiet literally exploded. 

Alec didn't look to be in the mood to discuss it either.

So Magnus didn't say anything. 

They made it to a spiral staircase up to the balcony and Alec chose that moment to sheathe his sword back in its holster. Alec let Magnus in first so that he could cover him. 

When they made it up there, they crouched down quickly on to their stomachs to hide behind the railing. 

They took this moment to look around the room.

Valentine was sitting on the throne, Alec's father chained next to him. He looked empty. And Magnus couldn't blame him. His wife was just murdered.

Servants were in lines, all chained. The lines were full of men and women. But the line isn't what scared Magnus all that much. Yes, he knew Clary was in there somewhere, but still, it wasn't what frightened him. What frightened him was what the line was leading to.

A man, a familiar man, stood at the front and was shaking his head each time someone came up to the front. It was as if he was examining them.

But the man... Magnus knew him. 

But it couldn't be possible.

"Magnus?" Alec whispered, concerned. He must have seen how pale Magnus had gone. 

"I... I know that man... at the front of the line..." his voice cracked.

Alec looked at the man, and his eyes widened when he saw Sebastian, son of Valentine, was next to him. "Who is that?" 

"Alexander... he's... the first week I was here, the old lady who plotted against you... she had an associate... it's him, Alexander, that's him."

Alec's mouth opened ever so slightly. "Oh..."

"He's working with Valentine..." Magnus' voice was still shaking. 

Suddenly, Sebastian started speaking next to him. "He must not be here."

"I know he is. He is the prince's servant." The man spoke.

Magnus' heart started pounding. Alec looked at him, shocked. They were after Magnus.

"I know it, he has to be here." 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Well, he must not be in the line. We've been at this for nearly three hours now."

"I don't care," the man spoke through grit teeth, clenching his fists. "It's his fault, I want him dead, I want him screaming out until his throat bleeds."

Magnus made a small, frightened sound. Alec wrapped his arm around him. "Sh," he hushed gently.

"He is the reason she's dead."

The old women. Magnus remembered. He'd used magic to cut down the chandelier. It fell right on her. 

Wait... how would he know he did that.

"I saw him. I saw his eyes glow." 

"Oh, my god..." Magnus whispered. He looked at Alec, who had furrowed his brow. "Alexander, we need to leave." He tried to pull him, but Alec was wrapped up in what the man was saying.

"He made that chandelier fall."

"Alexander," Magnus choked, and he could feel tears welling in his eyes. "Please."

"His magic is what killed her."

"What?" Alec whispered next to him.

Magnus didn't know what to do.

"I want you, Sebastian Morgenstern, to kill him. I know how brutal you can be. I want you to go as brutal as possible on him."

Magnus made another sound. 

"Oh, my god..." Alec said.

"I will gladly do so." Sebastian replied. "But he's not in this line. He must be somewhere else." He smirked, and turned to Alec's father. "And this fella right here, knows where he and the prince is." 

Magnus felt Alec tense next to him.

"Tell us, you fool. We already killed your wife," Robert flinched. "How about the lady Isabelle next?"

Alec made to move to get up, but Magnus pulled him back down quickly. Alec still hadn't looked at him. 

Robert's eyes flickered. "No..." his voice was hoarse. "Please..."

Sebastian grabbed a fistful of his hair. "Then, tell me."

"They... they're not here."

"You're lying."

Robert shook his head. "I'm not. The boy's mother just passed, they went to the funeral together..."

Sebastian pushed Robert down aggressively, letting go of his hair. "Interesting." 

The man turned to Sebastian. "We have to send patrols."

Sebastian looked a few of green capes. "Go scout the outer layers of this castle, and go further out if you have to." Sebastian then looked at another crowd of Valentine's men. "You, go scout the castle itself."

Both groups of green knights took off on their new order.

"Oh, my god..." Alec said again.

"Alec," Magnus begged. "Please, we need to go, now." He managed to get Alec crouched up a bit, and towards the staircase. "Come on, we need to go."

The ran down the staircase.

...

They weren't sure where to go, so they quickly went to Magnus and Ragnor's chambers, both catching their breath. 

Magnus was not excited for the conversation about to come. "Alec-"

Alec spun around, brows furrowed. "No, just... don't."

"Alexander, let me explain."

"Why?" Magnus opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't think of anything. Alec had a lot to say. "So, you've been lying to me, this whole time?"

Magnus didn't say anything.

"You've been going on as my servant, and never once told me."

Magnus looked down.

"You've been lying."

"Alexander-"

"Why don't you trust me?"

That shook Magnus up. He was shaking his head, walking up to Alec to try to get his attention. "Alexander, it's not that. I do trust you, I trust you with my life."

"Then why?" Alec asked, looking sad. "I trust you with everything. I tell you everything. Why did you think you couldn't tell me this?" Magnus opened his mouth, but no words came. "You know what? We can't talk about this now, we need to get out of the city. They're after you, Magnus. And even though I'm a little wounded about this, I still care about you. I don't want Sebastian to get his hands on you."

Magnus still didn't speak.

"We need to go," Alec said, grabbing Magnus' arms gently and guiding him out of the chambers.

Getting out of the castle would be hard. But it was all they had right now.

They just had to work together.

Even though nothing was right between them right now.


	16. Eldon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! Cause I certianly did. 
> 
> Also, Sebastian is just insane guys...

Magnus watched Alec guide them out of the castle. There were too many troops, and they were still trying to find their way out. Magnus wanted to just talk to him, to explain his reasoning, but now was obviously not the time, and he was afraid that Alec wouldn't listen.

But still, Alec had Magnus' hand in his as they struggled to figure a way out of the city. But then there would be more troops in the woods. Sebastian ordered them.

Sebastian... Sebastian wanted Magnus... 

He wanted to hurt Magnus. And Magnus couldn't help but be terrified. He knows how cruel Sebastian can be. He thought about the torturous things he's done to sorcerers a lot. He's completely broken them.

Magnus didn't want to go through that... 

What if they did that to Ragnor? 

No, they don't know about Ragnor... Ragnor just has to be extra careful.

Suddenly, though, the warning bells of the city were going off and Magnus and Alec exchanged nervous glances.

Magnus' heart started pounding again.

"They must have found the bodies in the dungeons." Alec stated. He squeezed his hand tighter. "Come on, we need to find a different way out."

Alec pulled him, and they were running.

...

"I want him found!" He screamed as Sebastian ordered more troops to scout the castle. They'd found bodies in the dungeons with wounds that were clearly made by a sword. The prince's sword. 

And if the prince was here, then so was his lowly servant.

"Eldon," Sebastian said, taking a step closer to him. "I will not allow him to leave this castle."

Eldon, the man who now has a name, grit his teeth. His hands were clenched, and his knuckles were white. "Good," he smirked.

Sebastian's father, Valentine, came up behind them, looking back at the king. "He doesn't even notice the bells," Valentine chuckled. "He can't distinguish anything knowing his wife's dead."

Sebastian laughed, loud. "How pathetic."

Valentine turned to look at Robert fully, Eldon and Sebastian following him. "Hear that, Robert? Your son is in the castle," Valentine called to him, and Robert's eyes flickered a moment. "We're going to find him."

Robert looked up from where stared down at the floor. "What...?"

Valentine chuckled darkly. "And then we're going to kill him."

Robert tried to stand, but a guard kicked him down aggressively. "No, wait," Robert yelled out. "Please, no, not my son, no my Alexander."

"Keep begging, Robert," Sebastian chimed in happily. "It brings me joy."

Eldon joined in. "Especially when it's futile."

They all chuckled deeply together as Robert just screamed.

...

They were running so fast, but every corner they rounded on, guards in green capes were there, and they were forced to turn around. They were beginning to lose their breaths, and they were weakening; growing tired. Sebastian had them running like dogs. 

It was then Magnus realized he had an idea of where to run. He needed to tell Alexander, tell him there was hope, that there was somewhere to run.

But before he could, four green capes were coming their way and they made to turn around but there were three more there too. 

They were surrounded.

Magnus and Alec were gasping in sync, and Magnus saw Alec's shoulders sag in defeat. Sweat was running down the sides of their faces. The guards were smirking, looking hungry for blood.

"You're the Warlock," one of them pointed at Magnus, and Magnus felt his stomach jump. The guard smirked wider. "Oh, how Sebastian has such plans for you."

"You won't touch him," Alec demanded, stepping in front of Magnus. Magnus looked at him like he was crazy.

"And do you think you can stop us?"

Alec chuckled, confident. But Magnus knew he was rushing with nerves inside. "I could do it in less than ten seconds."

They all laughed. 

Magnus knew what needed to be done, but it would take all of Ragnor's nights of training and concentration to keep it controlled. "Alexander," he said. Alec looked back at him, confusion rising on his features. "Step back."

"What?"

"I'm serious," and suddenly, and surprisingly controlled, blue flames appeared at his fingertips. He was focusing on controlling his breathing. 

Some of the guards stepped back in shock. Alec did too.

"Let us go," Magnus said, voice deep. He was done with this crap. He was so done. He was tired, and he wouldn't hesitate to send every single one of these men flying back.

"Stop that," one guard ordered.

Magnus smirked then. "Come now," he said. "The only reason you are prejudice towards my people is because you don't have our abilities. How about I show you just what I can do." 

He took a deep breath, then shot his hands out, and his eyes glowed yellow. The men were rushed back against the walls and hard onto the floor. Every single one of them fell unconscious.

Magnus let the magic go with a controlled breath and closed eyes, and then he looked at Alec guiltily. Alec's eyes were wide. "You've been lying to me this whole time..." was all he said.

Magnus looked down sadly, but realized then that more people were coming. "Come on, Alec. I know where to go."

Magnus took off, and he could see Alec hesitate behind him before following him.

Following him to Catarina.

...

Sebastian jumped as the throne room doors burst open and some of his men came barging in. They were gasping, as if they'd been running frantic to find the prince and his servant. "My lord," one of them said. "I saw it happen, I saw it with my own eyes. Eldon is right, my lord. The boy, the servant... he has magic."

Sebastian slowly moved his head up and smirked at the rate of a snail. This was all so good. He couldn't wait to get his hands on that little boy's throat. He couldn't wait to hear him scream, and feel the weight of his blood on his hands. 

"Where is he?" Sebastian asked, and then Eldon came up beside him. 

"He got away, but we have another guard tailing him. They have no idea that that was a trap, sire." 

Eldon could feel the butterflies of excitement flutter around in his stomach. "Yes," he whispered, then louder. "Yes."

"Don't bring them here until you find out where they're going," Sebastian started. "I want to know why they haven't fled the castle yet. They have to be hiding within it, and I want to know where that is." 

The guard nodded. "Yes, sire." 

Sebastian watched the guards leave, and turned around to his father, who was talking with Robert. "You hear that? A sorcerer... in your kingdom," Valentine chuckled. "Right under your nose," he tapped Robert's nose. 

Robert flinched back with a growl. "Shut up."

"Why?"

"Because your voice is giving me a headache."

Valentine took his hand and whipped it across Robert's cheek with a slap. "I'm sorry, but is that any way to speak to your king?"

"I am king!"

"My father," Sebastian jumped in. "Is king. You are nothing but garbage, Robert."

Robert clenched his fists. "I swear to everything that is holy, if you hurt my son I'll-"

Valentine scoffed. "You'll what? You're chained and vulnerable. I could beat you right now and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it. And I will do just that to your son." Valentine began walking away. 

Robert was yelling after him, but Sebastian followed Valentine and they both tuned it out. "You, my boy," Valentine began, clapping a hand on his son's shoulder. "You deal with the Warlock's best. I want you to go as hard as you possibly can on him."

Sebastian smirked. "Oh, I have plans, father. Don't you worry about that."

...

"Magnus?" Alec whispered as he followed Magnus down a set of stone stairs leading to darkness. "Magnus, where the hell are you taking me?"

"Shh," Magnus hushed, his hand glowing blue as a source of light. 

Alec stared at in wonder. He couldn't handle all of this. His mother was just murdered by Valentine and he still had no idea where Isabelle or Jace were. And now Magnus, the one he thought would save him from this darkness, has been lying to him the moment he laid eyes on him. 

But... it was beautiful. Magnus was beautiful with the blue fluorescent glow of blue flames surrounding him. 

He loved him. And Magnus loved him back. 

But now... he felt like he couldn't trust him, but who the hell else can he trust in this situation? Part of him still trusted Magnus with his life, and considering Sebastian wanted to kill Magnus right now, he would have to work with him. 

They would have to work together. 

Magnus had taken them to a dark, stoned room that smelled of rotten mold and had dripping sounds but Alec wasn't sure from where. It was small, and you barely could fit ten people in there.

"Catarina," Magnus called out. He was looking around the room, as if expecting someone to pop out of nowhere. 

"Magnus, there's no one here." Alec tried.

Magnus waved his hand, slightly annoyed, then called her name again. "Don't do this to me now, Catarina, get out here."

Alec was about to ask Magnus if he was okay, but then a blue glow lit up the room, and suddenly, a women was standing in front of them. But she was blue... a blue women. She had snow white hair with a fairly torn white dress. 

"No need to be rude, Magnus." She joked.

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Catarina, this is serious."

It was then Catarina noticed that Alec was in the room too. She frowned, tilting her head. She looked at Magnus expectantly. "Magnus, what is going on?"

"We've been attacked," Magnus replied. "It's Valentine, and his son." 

Catarina swallowed. "Sebastian..."

Magnus hesitated, looking frightened for a second before his eyes flickered back to poised. Alec just stared at the exchange in shock. "Yes," Magnus nodded.

Catarina acknowledged the information. "What will you do?"

Magnus scoffed. "Me? I came here to ask you what you were going to do."

Catarina chuckled. "I can do nothing," she said. "I am here to guide you, and that is all I can do." 

Magnus' hands fisted. "Stop it," he said, voice shaking. "Sebastian wants me dead. He is working with the man from the feast who was working with the woman who tried to kill Alexander."

Catarina's eyes widened for a fraction of a second. "Why would Sebastian want you dead?"

Magnus felt the butterflies burning in his stomach again. "He knows I have magic..."

Catarina looked at Alec then. "Which means you know."

Alec stuttered, taking a step towards her. "Uh, yes, yes I do."

Catarina looked shocked. "Really now?"

Alec nodded.

"And how are you taking that?"

"Catarina, stop it," Magnus jumped in. 

Catarina blinked at Magnus. "Why?"

"Because..." he couldn't think of anything else to say. Magnus didn't know what he could say.

"Precisely my point," she said. "You are not taking it well, I suppose." Alec swallowed. He didn't reply. Catarina chuckled. "You do know Magnus is great, right?"

Alec was taken aback with that. "What?"

"He is destined to bring about peace in these lands. The peace your father tainted." 

Alec looked down then. "I know what my father has done, but I do not condone any of that."

Catarina nodded. "I know. And that is why you, along with Magnus, will help bring about that peace."

"Catarina," Magnus warned. 

"What do you mean?" Alec asked.

"You and Magnus are destined for greatness. The king of Idris and the High Warlock."

Alec closed his eyes, as if trying to block the information. Magnus was looking at him cautiously. "High Warlock?"

"Mhm," Catarina hummed.

"He.. he has nickname?" Alec asked.

"You bet," Catarina chirped.

Magnus decided then to break the conversation. "Just tell me what I need to do," he said. "How can I fix this?"

Catarina thought for a moment. "What I have to say will not interest you."

Magnus breathed out a laugh, but an angry one. "I think I'd take anything right about now. Sebastian has Alexander and I running like dogs, I want him and Valentine dead."

Catarina looked impressed. "Well, then here you go." She said, then took a deep breath and spoke again. "You have to let Sebastian's men grab you."

Magnus' heart raced. "W...What?"

Catarina licked her lips. "I am sorry, but that is all I can tell you. You will be ready, but you have to be forced to be ready."

"What the hell does that mean?" Magnus grit his teeth. 

"I won't let Sebastian hurt him." Alec broke out.

"Magnus," Catarina spoke firmly. "You have to confront him."

Magnus' breath had picked up a bit, and Alec could see him struggling to keep it together. "But..."

"You will be ready," Catarina began fading away, but Magnus wasn't done yet.

"Wait!" He called out, and suddenly, he felt his blood boil. "You can't just drop that on me!"

But she was gone.

"Magnus, calm down," Alec tried, but Magnus wasn't listening.

"Dammit!" He screamed, and his hands began glowing and he shot fire towards the wall, breathing deeply. "Dammit..." he whispered, shoulders sagging, head hanging down. He'd lost energy in all of this.

Alec took that moment to pull him into a hug. "It's going to be okay, Magnus. I promise."

"Don't..." Magnus spoke, but muffled in Alec's chest. "Promises can't be kept."

They stayed like that for a while, but then marching was heard towards the room, but there was no where to run. Magnus shot out of Alec's grip quickly trying to think of something as they neared closer and closer.

His breathing was erratic. "Alec, what do I do?"

"Magnus, it's okay." Alec tried to calm him down.

They were in the room then, and they were pulling Alec and Magnus apart, but Magnus was struggling and so was Alec. 

Alec's eyes were wide as they clapped chains on his wrists behind his back, and screamed out when they snapped runed chains on Magnus, blocking his magic.

"No!" Alec yelled. "Stop it, leave him alone!"

"Alec!"

"I'm here, Magnus, I am here."

Alec was being pulled out of the room, but they were leaving Magnus in there, and before Magnus knew it, there was a stabbing pain in his left thigh, and he found a handle to a blade sticking out, and blood flowing from it.

"No!" Alec screamed again. 

Magnus could feel the chains blocking; draining his magic, and he could feel the blood flowing from his newfound wound, and could feel himself losing consciousness. "Alexander..." he whispered.

"Magnus, stay awake, come on!" Alec was yelling, but then Magnus couldn't see him in the room, and he couldn't tell where he was because of the stars in his eyes. 

He felt the guards roughly pushing him to the ground, and his tongue slurred as he called for Alec again. 

He could faintly hear Alec screaming for him before Magnus was surrounded by darkness.


	17. He With the Cat's Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit darker so warning for blood and some uncomfortable reading.
> 
> Also, the Warlock Mark COMES!!!

Sebastian was waiting in anticipation for his guards to bring him the Warlock and the prince. Valentine was currently talking with the king, who was still seething, but starting to look more terrified as he realized what was about to happen.

Eldon was next to him, playing with his hands nervously as he waited with Sebastian. Sebastian clapped his shoulder. "Stop worrying, Eldon," he smiled. "Everything is working out perfectly. When they bring the Warlock in here, I will make sure he feels your pain. That is what I'm being paid for." His smirk grew.

Eldon felt his blood rushing with excitement. "But I want him humiliated, I want him broken, totally completely broken."

Sebastian's teeth were showing as she smiled wider. "I will. When they bring him here, I will ask them to fetch the other two Lightwoods and the court physician. They will watch as he screams and writhes on the floor, worry not."

Eldon was shaking, trembling, but not because he was afraid. But because this is it, this is what he has been waiting for for weeks. Nearly two months now.

It was finally happening.

"I asked my men to inject him with the numbing serum, any way they could," Sebastian said. "It will stop his magic."

"But didn't you make sure for them to apply the runed chains?"

Sebastian nodded. "Yes, but he's a sorcerer. You can't be sure that will block him."

Eldon understood. "Yes, you're correct." He stood, suddenly poised, hands behind his back. "I can't wait to watch. He killed her, my friend, my only friend."

Sebastian frowned, turning to look at him. "May I ask a question?" 

Eldon shrugged.

Sebastian took that as an unsure yes. "Why were you best friends with such an old hag?"

Eldon's eyebrow twitched, clearly annoyed, and Sebastian smirked a bit when he saw it. But Eldon stayed controlled. "She saved my life, when I was just a boy. I wasn't in a good place."

"Another question?" 

"I suppose," Eldon said, cautious.

"Why are you working with me, someone who hates sorcerers for all of their treachery, when the one you loved the most was, indeed, a sorcerer?" 

Eldon took a deep breath then let it go. "I don't hate all sorcerers. I believe some should be free," Sebastian scoffed as he said it, but Eldon ignored it. "But this one... this one should be tortured and rotting in hell for all eternity," he grit his teeth. "I said I wanted him dead..."

When Sebastian realized he said this with an unsure voice, he turned to look at him confused. "But now you don't?"

Eldon nodded. "Oh, no, I still do. But... I want him to suffer."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I've already confirmed that he will," he said.

Eldon shook his head. "No, I mean... I want to suffer for a long time. I want him screaming for weeks, I want him to the point of begging for death. I want him broken."

Sebastian looked at Eldon proudly. "Now you're getting it. I planned to kill him today, though slowly. But," he smirked. "If you would prefer I drag that out a bit, I would be more than happy to oblige."

Eldon smiled, and it was wide, showing teeth. He breathed in. "Yes, I would love that. And I would love to watch every second of it."

Sebastian smiled along with him, nodding. "Then you shall have it."

...

Alec didn't say anything as he was dragged somewhere, though he couldn't really focus where. All he could think about was Magnus. Magnus, who looked absolutely terrified while being taken away. Magnus, who cried out when that damned guard stuck a blade in his thigh. 

Why did they even do that? What was the point of that? 

Magnus already was clearly vulnerable, especially when they applied those chains, so why then give him a wound? And one that wasn't going to kill him... it wasn't a morally dangerous wound, so why do it?

Alec suspected it had a lot to do with just power, with being above someone else, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it.

And he couldn't shake the feeling that Magnus was somewhere being hurt even more. He couldn't be sure because he had been dragged out of the room before he could see, but he was almost positive Magnus lost consciousness. He had called out but didn't get a reply.

And then he had heard laughing, as if he guards were celebrating in their newfound toy to play with.

He hated this. And now he was being taken somewhere. It looked like they were taking him to the throne room. Ragnor had said his father was in there. 

Even though this was against his will, this was still good. Take him to his father so he can figure out what the hell was going on.

They turned a corner and brought him to the throne room doors, and pushed him aggressively inside. He stumbled a bit, but relished in that fact that he wasn't being held to tightly by those men. 

He looked around, and saw Sebastian standing by Eldon, and Valentine talking with his father. But when his father saw him, he looked up, wide eyed. His mouth was moving, as if trying to say something, but couldn't think of what it was he wanted to actually say.

"Father," he mumbled. "It's okay." Alec almost couldn't stand to see such a lost face on one that was always confident with where he was going. He couldn't stand to see his father so broken. He could see the guilt with his mother's death mixed in there. "It's okay, I promise."

Sebastian chuckled, and Valentine walked away from his father. "It's most certainly not okay," Sebastian cooed.

Eldon looked to be shaking with excitement. "Bring in the other two Lightwood's now." 

Sebastian nodded, smiling. "Yes," he turned to a guard. "Go fetch them. And after they get here, go fetch the Warlock."

Alec took a step forward. "I swear to God, if you hurt any of them-"

Valentine laughed. "Like I told your father, you can't do anything to us. We have got you right where we need you to be."

Alec frowned, narrowing his eyes. "What are talking about?"

Another dark chuckle resounded the room, and Alec could see it was Sebastian. "This whole thing revolves around you, and that damned sorcerer."

"His name is Magnus," Alec growled.

Sebastian waved his hand dismissively. "I do not care about his name. I only care about the screams that I will hear come from his lips."

"I swear, Sebastian! If you lay a finger on him, I will kill you!" Alec's anger had risen past its point. 

Sebastian threw his head back, laughing. "Kill me? You couldn't do anything to me even if you thought you could."

Alec was seething, gasping. "Is that a challenge?"

"Alexander!" A voice called out, and for a moment he thought it was Magnus, but it was too deep to be Magnus'. He looked past Sebastian's shoulder to see his father. "No, Alec."

Alec laughed, but it was angry. "Why? Because you don't want to lose your precious heir?"

Robert looked like he had been slapped. "No..." he mumbled. "Because I don't want to lose my son."

Alec was taken aback. He shook his head, confused. "What?"

"I don't want to lose you too, Alexander." His father sounded so lost, and Alec hated it.

He grit his teeth, clenching them together until they hurt. "Let him go," he said, turning to Sebastian. "If this is revolved around Magnus and I, then let him, my siblings, and the rest of this kingdom go."

Sebastian slowly smirked. "Oh, this is all to do with you and the Warlock. But my plans involve them."

As if on cue, the doors opened, and a frightened Isabelle and a frustrated Jace were thrown in. Ragnor was there too. When they saw Alec they went straight for him. Isabelle hugged him, hard, and Jace clapped a hand on his shoulder, then pulled him into a hug next. 

"Have they hurt you?" Alec asked them.

Jace shook his head. "No, we've just been sitting in my quarters with guards blocking the door. What about you?"

Alec shook his head no too.

"Alec," Isabelle said. "Clary is safe too, she's with the other servants. They're just sitting in cells, she's surely frightened, but she's fine."

Alec nodded, releasing a breath that he had been terrified he would never get o release. But then he saw Ragnor looking around, as if searching for someone. "Alec," he said, voice tight. "Where is Magnus?"

Alec opened his mouth to reply, but again, the doors opened, and suddenly, Magnus was there, he was with them, in the room, but he was being held limply between two guards. Some of Valentine's men came and grabbed the royal court and physician as they tried to get to him, restraining them. 

Blood was trailing behind Magnus from the wound as they dragged him in front of Sebastian and Eldon, dropping him like meat. He was still unconscious. The runed chains were still applied.

Eldon smirked with wide eyes. He bent down next to him, breathing in deeply, as if breathing this moment in.

"Don't touch him!" Ragnor yelled. 

They were all struggling against the guards holding them, but all of it was to no avail.

Eldon ignored them. He came back up, looking at Sebastian expectantly. Sebastian smiled, nodding. "Of course," he said. 

Alec watched worriedly as Sebastian leaned down next. He gently rolled Magnus over to his back, then slowly ran a finger on Magnus' cheek. 

Alec struggled harder. "Stop it!"

Sebastian didn't listen. His finger ran all the way down to wound on his thigh, then smirked. "I see the serum was injected."

Ragnor's heart was racing. "Serum?"

Sebastian still didn't listen to them. "Very good." 

"What are you talking about, Sebastian?" Alec called out. "What serum? What is in Magnus?"

Valentine watched his son smirk with pride. Sebastian answered then, but didn't take his eyes off Magnus. "A numbing serum. He can't feel his magic, which means he can't access it." 

Ragnor snarled. "Don't touch him."

Sebastian just ignored them. He ran his finger across the wound again, but this time Magnus twitched slightly, eyebrows furrowing. Sebastian looked hungry for blood. 

"Stop it," Isabelle called. "Someone make him stop!"

"Hey," Jace yelled. "Come on, give him a break."

Sebastian still didn't acknowledge them as he stared at the blood on his finger. He looked back down at Magnus, who was stirring, and decided then to wake him up. He took the same finger, but this time plunged it physically inside the wound.

Protests could be heard as Magnus' eyes snapped open, and he tried to sit up, but Sebastian was keeping him down. He was about to cry out, but Sebastian clapped a hand over his mouth aggressively, slamming his head into the ground. 

Magnus was gasping through his nose, struggling to get away from Sebastian as he felt the finger inside his wound. He was grunting when he began to move it around. 

"Let him go, you sick bastard," Jace yelled.

Magnus managed to open his mouth wide enough to bite Sebastian's hand, who then cried out and flinched back. Magnus took that moment to crawl away from Sebastian and jump up to his feet with a struggle. His wound zinged, but he managed to stay standing.

Sebastian looked at Magnus angrily, and charged. Magnus stumbled back a bit, but Sebastian was already on him, tackling him down to the ground. Magnus yelled as he collided with the floor. 

Sebastian had his hands around Magnus' throat then, and he was squeezing, completely blocking off Magnus' airway. Magnus clawed at the hands, listening to the sounds of Alec and his family, and Ragnor, begging for him to stop. 

Their cries were drowned away at the sound of blood rushing in ears, and stars appeared in his vision, but suddenly, he could breathe again. He choked, coughing aggressively as he turned over on his side. 

When he had managed to get a hold of himself, he struggled back up to his feet to see Sebastian in conversation with Eldon. 

"You must make him suffer," the man who Magnus recognized as the one who worked with the old lady said. 

"Eldon, I will."

So his name was Eldon then.

Magnus was going to let them talk, but he was gasping from pain and anger, and sweat had accumulated on his forehead, and he'd had enough. "Eldon!" He yelled.

Eldon stopped abruptly, looking over Sebastian's shoulder at him. He just snarled.

Magnus decided to talk to him. "You blame me," he said. Eldon clenched his fists. "You blame me for your friend's death. I already know that's why you want Sebastian to do your dirty work."

Eldon stepped away from Sebastian and was now facing Magnus. "You know nothing!"

"I know enough to know that you're a coward." 

"Magnus," Alec warned, but Magnus didn't listen.

"I know enough to know that you and her were full of nothing but pure evil. Such evil that almost killed the prince. Did you think I would let that happen? Of course not." Eldon grit his teeth, seething. "And I definitely know enough to know that you're a murderer."

Eldon grunted. "The only murderer I see in this room is you, and the king."

Magnus narrowed his eyes. "Do not dare compare me to him," he said, as if disgusted. And he knew Alec's family was listening, but he didn't care. "That man has killed hundreds of my people, thousands of sorcerers." He heard Ragnor, Izzy, and Jace gasp in surprise, but again, he didn't care. "I have no sympathy for him. Not one bit."

Robert looked down, as if ashamed. 

Eldon spoke again. "You killed my only friend, the women who saved me!"

"I don't care," Magnus replied. His wound zinged again, and he stumbled a bit, but managed to keep his ground. "I don't care about her, or you. You can both rot in hell for all I care."

"Sebastian," Eldon said. "Make him suffer! Make him scream! Make him bleed!"

"Come on, Sebastian!" Magnus screamed. "Come on! Come get me!"

"Magnus," Alec called out for him. "Stop it!"

"Come make me scream, Sebastian!" 

Sebastian was smirking. "You sure are eager to be tortured aren't you."

Magnus was gasping in anger. "Not really," he said, his voice shaking. "I just don't care. I don't have any energy to care anymore. I don't care, so come on... come on, Sebastian, come on!" 

Sebastian charged again.

But he had a knife.

Sebastian knocked him to the ground, and Magnus growled as he fell back. Sebastian took the knife, and stuck it in the same wound from before.

Magnus screamed. He reached down to touch it, but Sebastian's men was holding his arms down, so his next instinct was to kick his feet up, but then there were men there too. "Listen to that, Magnus," Sebastian whispered as he whimpered. Sebastian twirled the knife inside, and he screamed again. 

Alec was screaming for it to stop, and so was Izzy and Jace. Ragnor couldn't make his voice work, couldn't manage any small sound. 

"Hear your blood moving inside," Sebastian mocked, feeling Magnus' trembling form. "Feel the blade?"

Magnus was doing fairly well at keeping his breathing controlled as he bit his tongue to keep from screaming out again. 

Sebastian chuckled. "But, what can't you feel?" 

"Shut up," Magnus growled. 

"Can't feel your magic, now, can you?" 

Magnus closed his eyes to block out the sound of Sebastian's voice and his friends protests. He focused on controlling the pain.

Sebastian pulled the knife out, then stood up off of Magnus. Magnus turned over, eyes still closed. He was still grunting with every breath he took. 

But then Sebastian walked around him to the same leg, and kicked it.

Hard.

Hard enough to hear a loud crack, and a tear, and more of Magnus' screaming. He couldn't breath, because he wasn't expecting that. 

Magnus looked down to see a new source of blood... and white. White bone, sticking out of his chin. 

Sebastian broke the leg enough to break the skin.

"Please, let him go!" Magnus could hear these words but he couldn't hear from who because all he could listen to was thumping in his ears.

Sebastian put his foot on the leg, and pressed down. Magnus cried out, his face turning red as he screamed louder. Sebastian just pressed down more. 

Magnus struggled away from him, but Sebastian was on top of him again, the same bloodily knife in his hand. Magnus fought him, but it wasn't enough. He was slowly slicing the skin on his torso. Magnus growled with each one.

Suddenly, his anger spiked, and the room began shaking, and Sebastian looked up, confused. It was as if there was an earthquake happening.

But Magnus' eyes were glowing, and Sebastian jumped off him, then back. "That's not possible."

Magnus couldn't hear anything over his magic, but he felt the chains around his wrist snap off and he could feel the blood rushing in his ears. 

"That's not possible!" Eldon screamed next.

Everyone looked up at the debris falling from the ceiling of the castle as it shook. 

Blue flames began firing at Magnus' hands, and Magnus felt such a great deal of anger. He stood up, oddly easily, and looked up at Sebastian. 

But when he was standing, everyone saw something truly stunning.

"Oh, my God..." Ragnor whispered, and he smiled. 

His eyes were golden, with slit pupils, like a cat.


	18. Deception of the Elements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be confused, this chapter is supposed to be called the title of the story. We're nearing the end here!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The castle was shaking furiously and blue power was surrounding Magnus like a shield, glimmering with flames and intimidation. Sebastian had stumbled back, eyes wide and surprised that this was actually happening. Magnus' eyes were glowing yellow, but they were in the shape of a cats, slit with a tint of green. He was strangely walking easily as he stalked closer to Sebastian, who still looked shocked.

Magnus limped as he walked, but other than that it was as if he wasn't feeling anything. As if there wasn't at least two inches of bone sticking out of his chin and blood pouring out of his thigh. 

Alec watched the whole scene play out with a beating heart and wide eyes. Jace and Isabelle looked to be in the same state. Robert was looking at Magnus with a different look than he usually held for men like him. It was a gaze of amazement. 

Ragnor was smiling at the manifestation that was Magnus Bane. He felt pride rise in his heart profusely and he smiled wider when Magnus began breathing controlled. All of the past few months' training was finally coming to fruition.

Valentine was yelling for Magnus to stop, to leave his son alone, but Magnus wasn't listening. And honestly, he couldn't hear anything over the roar of his magic. It was deafening, but he was enjoying it in a different way than he usually did. 

Now, he knew he had a purpose. And that purpose was to kill Sebastian and Valentine Morgenstern. 

"Stay back!" Sebastian yelled.

Magnus just shook his head no, and continued to come forward. Valentine made an advancement to come intervene, but Magnus' magic shot out, as if on its own accord, and knocked him down to the floor. 

"Fight back, Sebastian!" His father called out.

"How do you expect me to do that?" Sebastian replied irritably. 

Magnus smirked, and spoke before Valentine could say anything. "You don't," and his magic worked on its own.

Flames surrounded the pair as the castle shook harder, more fiercely. The magic became so bright that the others had to look away lest they quiet literally become blinded. Debris began falling more profusely from the ceiling, most of it being rubble from the stone of the castle, and they all attempted to cover themselves from the hit. Screaming could be heard, and it was loud, and shrill. 

Valentine wanted to do something for his son, help him in some way, but there was no way to save him from this.

No way to save him from Magnus. 

The screaming grew louder, and Valentine screamed with him. "My son! My son!"

But all of his yells were for nothing.

Suddenly, the screaming stopped, and the magic dissipated quickly. The castle was still. Nothing but silence and a burning pile of ash surrounded Magnus. He was gasping, dark circles under his eyes, hair a bit a strewn. His legs were trembling, and his hands were shaking. Blood was pouring out of his wounds and the bone looked to be more out of place than before. 

Magnus looked around, as if shocked that he caused the mayhem surrounding them. He made eye contact with Alec, and Alec looked at him desperately, trying to get out of the Circle member's hold, who have all been stunned to silence. Magnus just breathed out two words, two words that seemed to take out of the energy he had left.

"I'm sorry..." 

And his eyes rolled to the back of head, and he fell to the floor.

Eldon was nowhere to be found.

...

Alec watched him fall, helpless to do anything. He struggled against the man's hold, but nothing would budge him. This was ridiculous, he was the prince of Idris, he should be able to fight him, but he couldn't. 

"Magnus!" He called, but go no response. He looked at Ragnor, eyes wide. Ragnor looked frightened at the state of his friend. "What do we do?"

Ragnor's mouth was open in shock, and he shook his head. He didn't know what to do either.

"My son..." Valentine sobbed, crawling on his knees towards the pile of ash next to Magnus. He touched it, and stroked it, but all anyone could think was 'you are way too close to Magnus'. Tears were rolling down Valentine's face, and he sobbed harder.

But as if on the switch of a dial, his eyebrows furrowed and his teeth grit. He looked down at Magnus in anger and disgust. "You..." he said, even though Magnus was unconscious. "You did this..." he pulled a knife out of his holster, and lifted it to cause harm. "You will pay for this!"

But before he could bring it down, something unimaginable happened. A shot of magic was thrown at him, and he fell to his side, shocked. 

When they all looked at who the source of the magic was, they all found Ragnor with glowing yellow eyes and one hand stretched out.

"Oh, my God..." Alec whispered. 

Robert looked betrayed. He was still on the floor, sitting with such a lost look on his face.

Valentine just grunted, standing up, shouting out angrily. "Who? Who did that?"

Ragnor pushed the Circle member holding him away with a small burst of power, and he stepped forward towards Valentine. "You hurt my friend," was all he said.

Valentine scoffed, unamused. "He killed my son! He is nothing but a murderer!"

Ragnor didn't even flinch at the words, just stood strong. "The only murderer I see here, is you, Valentine."

Valentine blanched. "I am not-"

"Really?" Ragnor objected before Valentine could even finish. "You were just about to kill Magnus."

"He killed my son!" He screamed.

Ragnor smirked. "Because he indeed was a murderer, and so are you. You are nothing but an arrogant tyrant who wishes for all unlike you to perish in the pits of Hell. Well..." he smirked wider, green flames appearing at his fingertips. "I'm sure you would like to join your son in the flames." 

"What?"

"Goodbye, Valentine." 

And magic was erupted. Ragnor's hands were outstretched in front of him, green licking his fingers.

Valentine flew back to hit the wall behind him, and they could hear a crack as he collided with the wall, and he fell to the floor, eyes wide, but not breathing.

Dead...

The rest of the Circle members had no idea what to do now, for they had no one to follow. All they did was let go of their prisoners and look around like they were unsure of what to do with themselves.

It continued to stay silent as Alec walked up to Ragnor, who looked nervous. He walked slowly, and Ragnor took a deep breath as if to prepare himself for what was about to happen. Alec stopped in front of him, a soft look in his features. "So..." Alec mumbled, clearing his throat. "You and Magnus are..."

Ragnor swallowed, and nodded. "Yes."

Alec took a breath. "I see..."

"I'm sorry," was all Ragnor could say.

As if Alec had been shocked into realization, he jolted when he looked at the blood still piling around Magnus. He knelt down next to him, stroking his hair. He was sweating slightly, and Alec was worried that an infection had already settled in. Ragnor knelt down next. "We need to get him to my chambers, I can heal him."

Alec looked at him for a moment, as if looking at a completely different person. "Okay," he said, and he gently slid his arms under Magnus' legs, making sure not to touch the bone, and then his torso. He softly lifted him from the ground. He turned to Jace when he got Magnus in his arms. "Get father of out of here, and search the castle for Eldon."

Jace nodded, and Isabelle followed Jace to Robert. 

Ragnor looked back at Robert a little guiltily before slipping out of the room with Alexander.

...

Jace didn't really understand what exactly was going on, but he knew his brother felt a different way about Magnus than he did about most people. The way Alec looked at him had a look of amazement every time he looked, and there was... love in there. 

Alec had talked to him about it, but he always said the same thing. "We can't start anything." 

Jace didn't believe that. If Magnus made him happy, then he should be allowed that. 

He couldn't think about it, because Isabelle was looking scared and Robert was lost. He gently knelt down next to him, and Isabelle just hovered over them. "Robert," Jace mumbled. "We need to go clean you up and allow you to rest. None of Valentine's men will do anything without either of their leaders. The kingdom is safe, I promise."

Robert just continued to breathe unevenly. "I..." he didn't know what to say. 

"Hey," Isabelle started. "It's okay." She stroked his shoulder. "Everything will be fine. But we have to get you to your room to safety."

Isabelle knew that wasn't exactly why they needed to get him out of there. Valentine's men wouldn't attack anymore. There was no one for them to follow. Most likely, they'll all be executed or thrown into jail. There was no where for them to go anyways. 

Mainly, Isabelle and Jace were a little frightened that Robert would break then and there; that he would completely lose himself. And he was the king. He couldn't be seen like that by the people. They would begin to doubt his leadership and his ability. 

Although... maybe Robert wasn't meant to be king. He wasn't necessarily a horrible king. His people are happy and prosperous. But the Warlocks... 

Maybe Robert will think differently about them after today.

They all had to make sure he didn't do anything rash like killing Ragnor and Magnus.

Jace helped Robert to his feet, and Isabelle forced one of the guards to give them keys to the chains. She then snapped them off after inserting it. They clunked down to the floor. Jace then helped guide him out of the throne room and to his chambers. 

It was a slow walk, and completely silent. Some members of the court were aiding in cleaning up the wreckage from the attack, and flames were finally dying down. 

When Jace and Isabelle got to Robert's doors to his chambers, Jace turned to face Isabelle, his gold eyes shining. "Hey," he whispered. "Go see about Magnus, and when I get him in here, I'll try to find Eldon."

Isabelle nodded, and urgently ran to Ragnor's chambers.

...

Alec gently lay Magnus down on the cot in his room, and Magnus made a small noise at he let go of his legs. His brows were furrowed, and every once in a while, they would flutter open, golden cat eyes staring back at you. Alec liked it. 

Ragnor was frantically searching in his potions and books for the quickest form of healing. He would frequently make eye contact with Alec, but it was guilty. Alec didn't think he should feel guilty. Yes, he's been deceived all his life. This deception of the elements was a bit much for him. Especially with Magnus, but that didn't mean he loved him any less.

Alec was stroking his hair when Ragnor walked up with a yellow potion and set it on the table next to Magnus' cot. "We have to set the bone back in place." 

Alec looked up at him, a little cautious. "Do you actually know how to do that?"

Ragnor scoffed. "I'm not the court healer for no reason."

Alec took that as a yes. "What do I need to do?"

"You need to hold him down because he's going to wake up when I do it. He's going to want to move, but any movement will cause more blood to come out of the dagger wound and the bone to shift."

Alec nodded, and stood up quickly, adjusting himself to hold Magnus down. He looked up at Ragnor, who's hands were flat on the broken leg. Alec gestured his head, as if to say go ahead. Ragnor swallowed, and took a deep breath. 

"One," he started. "Two... three..." and he pushed down.

There was a loud pop, and bone slid back inside the skin, and Magnus tried to shoot up out of the bed, but Alec had him down. He cried out, cat eyes glowing as a vase on the other side of he room shattered. He gasped, trying to catch his breath. Alec loosened the grip, trusting Magnus to stay still now that he knew he was okay and awake.

"Shh, you're okay." Alec soothed.

Magnus squeezed his eyes shut, and he was biting his lip. 

Alec looked back at the vase. "Did he do that?"

Ragnor nodded. "Yes," he said. "His magic is a little unstable right now."

Alec made a face as if to say duh. "I would expect so."

"Magnus," Ragnor said, trying to get his attention. "Hey, can you hear me?"

Magnus opened his eyes wide, and his pupils were dilated. "Mhm..." he grunted out.

"Okay, I need you to do something for me." Ragnor spoke slightly frantic, as if this was urgent.

"What?" Magnus bit out through his teeth.

Ragnor seemed guilty with his next words. "I'm going to need you to turn on your stomach."

"What?" Magnus yelled. Alec just tried to soothe him through the pain.

"I know it'll hurt, my boy, but you have to." 

"Why?" Alec asked for Magnus, looking up at Ragnor.

"The wound is closer to the back of the leg, and I can't work with it facing away from me." Ragnor looked back down at the wound, trying to catch a glimpse of some of the worst parts, which were indeed underneath.

"I'll help him," Alec said, standing up quickly. "What do I do?"

Ragnor didn't answer, but went straight back to Magnus. "Magnus, focus for me, okay? I need you to push down on Alec's arms as he holds your legs up so you can push to your side, then to your stomach."

Magnus whimpered, gasping. "Uhh..." he groaned.

"I know," Ragnor encouraged. "But you can do it, yes? You can do so many things, I know you can do this."

Magnus closed his eyes and nodded. 

Ragnor turned back to Alec. "Grab his legs, gently, mind you. You can't lift them too high, one of them is clearly broken. And just hold them up while Magnus pushes against you. Now, don't let them fall, you have to push back against him."

Alec nodded, feeling like a lot of information was entering his mind at once, which was already jumbled in the first place. He felt like he hadn't had a lot of time to process anything that has happened in the last twenty four hours. 

Alec just shook his head quickly, and gently picked up Magnus' legs, and he could see the one bent at a slightly wrong angle. Magnus grunted as Alec did it, but he yelled full out as he pushed against him to turn to his side. Alec let his legs down then, and softly rolled him to his stomach. 

Magnus had tears running down his cheeks, and Alec wasn't even sure Magnus knew there were. Alec bent down to be face to face with him. Magnus was focusing on keeping his breathing calm. Some of Ragnor's potions were vibrating next to them, Magnus' eyes glowing. None of them shattered like the vase had, however. 

"Shh," he whispered. "You're okay." 

Ragnor began to clean the wounds, in which Magnus would grunt louder and fist his hands against his forehead and he twitched. 

This was going to be a long night, Alec thought.


	19. Unconditional Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to know from you guys if you want a sequel directly after this, or something new (because I've got a great idea, it's very dark and very Magnus centric). Tell me in comments what you would like!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe we have one more chapter after this one, but maybe two more, not sure yet. But don't worry my lovelies, we will have a sequel. 
> 
> Eldon is still out there, remember? ;)
> 
> Anyways, I will have a summary for part 2 in this series, which let me take a minute to talk to you guys.
> 
> I never post what I write. A lot of the time, when I write, people don't like it. And I've struggled to find my style. Writing is just something that I turn to in my times of weakness. 
> 
> I almost deleted this story. I almost quit. But you guys, your comments and your positivity, is what kept me writing. 
> 
> So I wanted to thank you guys. Especially since this story has been hard for me, because I emotionally connect with it. But you guys stuck with me, and I can't tell you how much that means to me.
> 
> So thank you. Thank you so much. 
> 
> I hope the ending of this story (which isn't this chapter, don't worry) will satisfy everyone, and I hope I can provide a killer sequel. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Isabelle was pacing the corridors on the way to Ragnor's to check on Magnus like Jace had asked. She was worried to leave her father like that, and with Jace (God help him), but she also knew that she needed to see Magnus. She needed to figure out what the hell was going on. She also needed to find Clary. Her heart felt like it has been being squeezed ever since they had gotten a hold of Clary.

She knew Clary had to be in the cells after Eldon lined up all of the servants looking for Magnus. And she still had no idea why he had been looking for Magnus in the first place. It couldn't be all because he was a sorcerer, which she needed to get onto him about. Why would he keep that secret? She thought they were close enough to trust each other with things like that... 

So why keep that from her? Why lie to her?

And to Alec... 

She couldn't even imagine how Alec was feeling right now. Probably a little bit betrayed. She couldn't help but feel that way too, but she also sort of understood why. She was the king's daughter. 

And... only the king survived... 

She hadn't really had a chance to deal with the death of their mother... and she still felt like she couldn't.

Magnus needed her right now.

She finally turned the corner to the hall that held Magnus and Ragnor's quarters, and she quickened her pace a bit when she heard pained noises coming from inside. She knocked before entering, and covered her mouth when she saw him.

Magnus was fisting his hair in his hands while Ragnor cleaned the wounds on his leg. He was lying on his stomach, and Alec was at the end of him, bending down to be face to face with him. Alec was murmuring words of comfort.

Alec looked up, though, upon her arrival. "Izzy," he said, and it was an exhalation of relief. "How is father?"

Isabelle licked her lips. "He's stable, though shaken up. He'll be fine, Magnus is who I am worried about." She strode closer to him, bending down next to Alec.

Magnus was awake, but his eyes were clenched shut against the pain and he made small noises every couple of seconds. 

Ragnor was still invested in his work to notice Isabelle. 

"How is he?" She asked Alec.

Alec scoffed, but it wasn't bitter. It was just tired. "I think he'll be okay, it's just this leg has really taken a beating."

Magnus grunted and flinched when Ragnor pushed against the wound. Alec ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. "You're okay, just relax," he comforted.

Isabelle looked worried. "Are you sure he'll be okay?"

Ragnor finally spoke then. "He'll be fine, but this leg is severely injured. He won't be able to walk for a while." 

"What about the wound on his thigh?" Isabelle asked.

"I've cleaned it," he gestured to it, and it indeed was cleaned and bandaged up. Now he was dealing with where the bone broke the skin. "This wound, however, is much more difficult to handle. It's not like a cut, or slit. It's quiet literally ripped skin. I'll have to stitch it up myself."

Magnus whimpered at the news. "Ragnor," he gasped out, and all eyes went on him. 

"Yes, my boy?" Ragnor replied, voice gentle.

Magnus took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes before answering. "Thank you..." 

Ragnor looked guilty when he replied, but neither Isabelle or Alec were sure why. "Of course, Magnus. Just relax, I'll make it as painless as I can."

Magnus nodded slightly before closing his eyes and hiding his face in his hands. Alec just continued to play with his hair again. 

"Jace is looking for Eldon," Isabelle said, and Magnus looked up, eyes a little frightened. 

"He got away?" His voice trembled, but either because of the work Ragnor was doing or because he was afraid, they weren't sure. Maybe it was both.

Isabelle glanced at Alec uncomfortably. She swallowed, and looked back at Magnus. "He managed to get away, yes."

Magnus looked so tired. He just sighed and hid his face again. 

"He's probably left the castle by now," Alec proposed. 

"Most likely," Ragnor agreed. "I wouldn't worry about it right now. We need to find Clary and get everything back in order. If Eldon strikes at us, it won't be any time soon."

Isabelle nodded. "I'll go to the dungeons and find Clary, and let everyone go." She stood up, looking at Magnus one more time. She laid a hand on his shoulder, and decided to say it now. "Magnus," she spoke softly. "I wish you would have told me..." Magnus looked up, a guilt ridden face lighting his features. "But I don't hate you for it, Magnus. You're still my friend, okay?"

Magnus' mouth opened in shock ever so slightly, and blinked. He nodded, though it was dazed. "Okay," he croaked out.

She smiled her sweet smile before leaving to find Clary.

...

Clary had lost track of time for how long she had been sitting in this cell. There were other servants in here with her. In fact, there were so many, she felt like she was being pushed up against the wall. And she still didn't really know what was going on. All she knew was that Valentine attacked, and that they were looking for a servant, she just didn't know who.

But it had been quiet for a while now, so she wasn't sure if someone defeated Valentine or if it was just... quiet...

She really hoped that Valentine was gone. She didn't like him, obviously. And she hated his son. She swore to herself that she would never wish for something awful upon anyone, but she didn't regret saying she hoped both of them were dead.

They were nothing but pure evil. 

There were footsteps, and all of the servants stood up, waiting to see who it was coming down the stairs to the cells, but Clary couldn't see who it was in the back. 

She heard the jingling of keys, and heard them go in, and then the click. There were sighs of relief when the cells opened, and they all rushed out. Clary sat there for a moment, until she saw Isabelle standing there looking scared.

"Isabelle?" She sighed.

Isabelle smiled, and they both collided into each other's embraces. Isabelle squeezed hard, and if possible, Clary squeezed harder. She couldn't believe that she was here. 

"Are you alright?" Izzy asked, running her hands over Clary's body to make sure there were no injuries.

"I'm fine, my lady, what about you?" 

Isabelle forced a smile. "I'm okay," she said. "Well..." she looked down, realizing she was in fact, not okay.

Clary furrowed her brows, picking Izzy's chin up. "Hey," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

Isabelle felt it all at once. Magnus' lies, Ragnor's deceiving, her mother's death... it all hit her then and there. She felt tears in her eyes. "You have a lot to catch up on, Clary..." her voice cracked.

"What is it?" Clary asked, voice cautious.

Isabelle sniffled and took a deep breath. Clary put her hands on her shoulders when she saw that Isabelle was trembling. She opened her mouth, and the next words hit Clary like a rock. "The queen is dead..." 

Clary gasped, and her eyes widened a bit. She opened her mouth to say something, but found she didn't know what to say. She just pulled Isabelle into her embrace. She felt tears leak through her tunic onto her shoulder, but she didn't care. All she cared about was comforting her princess.

"I'm so sorry," Clary said. 

Isabelle wrapped her arms around her then, and they were hugging each other. Isabelle cried a bit more before pulling away and looking at Clary. "There's more that you need to know," she said, sucking her tears back inside her. 

Clary frowned. "I don't understand."

"Clary, this is big news okay, but it has to stay on the down low."

Clary frowned some more. "What is it, my lady?"

"It's about Magnus and Ragnor," she whispered. Clary leaned forward more so that she could heard Isabelle's whispering. "They're sorcerers..."

Clary jumped back, hands covering her mouth. She was in total shock. She couldn't believe it. So Magnus had been lying to them this whole time, and Ragnor had been lying from the day Isabelle was born. But... Clary didn't feel bitter. She felt astounded. 

She found herself smiling, and laughing a little. "That's amazing," she said.

Isabelle looked to be trying not to smile, but it didn't work, though it was sad. "I know it is..." she said. "And... it does make me happy, but..."

Clary's smile fell. "But what?"

Isabelle sighed. "Doesn't it bother you that they lied?"

Clary blinked, and thought for a moment. "Surprisingly... no." Isabelle didn't say anything, just looked confused. "I mean, I am shocked, of course. But I am not angry at them. I see why they lied. The king would have their heads. Especially when it comes to Ragnor."

Isabelle frowned. "What do you mean?"

Clary winced. "Remember the other court physician, Catarina Loss? They were best friends, but she ended up being a Warlock and got discovered. The king killed her, and made him watch."

Isabelle remembered. "Oh, my God, you're right."

Clary nodded. "I can see why they kept this a secret. It's their lives that were at stake, not trust. Or at least... I hope it doesn't ruin trust. I still trust both of them with my life."

Isabelle smiled. "Clary, you are so right."

Clary smiled back. "How are they?" Isabelle's smile fell when she remembered Magnus' predicament. Clary didn't like the way her smile just fell away like that. "Isabelle, what happened?"

"Magnus is injured. Sebastian got a hold of him, and Eldon-"

"Wait," Clary interrupted. "I knew they were looking for a servant, but I didn't know it was Magnus." 

Isabelle nodded. "Yes it was. The one working with Sebastian, his name was Eldon, wanted Magnus dead for killing his friend. Remember the feast, when that old women tried to kill Alec?"

Clary nodded.

"Well, that man was with her that night. Whatever happened that night involves Magnus, and it involves him enough to want Eldon to lust for revenge."

Clary took a deep breath. "But we don't know that reason, do we?"

Isabelle shook her head. "Not a clue, only that he somehow contributed to the old women's death. I wanted to ask Magnus, but... he's not in good shape right now."

Clary looked frightened. "Is he okay?"

"He'll live, it's just..." Isabelle sighed. "He has a stab wound and a very broken leg. And the wound is on the same leg that's broken. Ragnor says he won't be walking for a while."

"Oh, wow..." Clary said. "Can I see him?"

Isabelle smiled softly. "Of course," she said, and held her arm out for Clary to link hers with it. Clary obliged. "Lets go."

...

Ragnor had finished cleaning the broken skin and was now working to stitch up where the bone broke it. He hadn't started yet, but was getting his supplies ready.

Alec was still right next to Magnus, who was still clenching his fists, but he looked a bit more relaxed than before. 

"Magnus?" Alec asked.

Magnus looked at him. "Yes, Alexander?" His voice was so exhausted. Alec bit his lip, as if afraid to say whatever it was he wanted to say. Magnus took a breath. "Alec, you can tell me anything, you know that."

Alec did know that, but apparently Magnus didn't know that that was a two way game. He didn't mention it though. Ever since he saw the magic surrounding Magnus, he has wondered about this, and he needed an answer. "Magnus?"

"Yes," Magnus whispered.

"Your step-father..."

Magnus looked up then, blinking. He looked scared for the following conversation. 

Ragnor knew where this was going, but didn't say anything as he prepared the needle and the stitches. 

Magnus swallowed. "What about him, Alexander?"

Alec bit his lip again. "He hated you because you were a Warlock, didn't he?"

Magnus felt his heart quicken. He swallowed again. "Yes..."

Ragnor felt his heart shatter a little for his friend.

Alec didn't stop. "And you told me that he tried to kill you."

Magnus nodded.

"He tried to kill you because you had magic."

Magnus nodded again.

"And you told me that you stabbed him." This time, Magnus did not nod, instead, just felt his heart squeezed and felt water forming in his eyes. "But that's not true is it?"

Magnus shook his head. He had hidden his face in his arms again, but Alec was putting both hands on his arms, and speaking gently.

"Magnus," he whispered. "Please, look at me." Alec managed to get Magnus' head up, but when saw him, he felt his heart break. Magnus had tears rolling down his cheeks. "Magnus, your magic is what killed him, isn't it?"

More tears flowed.

"But you didn't mean to, did you?" Alec asked.

Magnus replied, but his voice was shaking, and Ragnor was now next to him, hands on his back, rubbing in ways to give some form of comfort. "No..."

Magnus hid his face again, shoulders trembling as he finally cried about this. He'd cried about his mother, and he'd cried about his guilt, but this... he hadn't been able to cry about his step-father's hatred towards him. Alec just hugged him, and Ragnor was still running circles on his back.

"Magnus," Alec started again. "It's okay, alright? It's okay, you're okay."

Magnus shook his head, words muffled in his arms. "It's not okay... I killed him... I committed murder that my village still doesn't know about. They all think he drowned..."

"Magnus," Ragnor said. "Let them believe that, but don't let yourself believe that you're a murderer."

"But I am..."

"Magnus-" Alec tried.

"He hated me so much..." Magnus sobbed. "And I felt water in my lungs and I didn't know what to do... my magic... it just acted out on its own..."

"I know," Alec comforted. "Shh, I know."

"That's why I came here," Magnus said, still in his arms. "My mother sent me here to learn to control it."

Alec's eyes widened in realization. He paused before replying. "That's why Ragnor took you in, isn't it?"

Magnus nodded. "Yes..."

"Oh, Magnus," Alec said, holding Magnus harder while he cried harder.

Ragnor decided then and there that Magnus was distracted enough to start stitching up. He stuck the needle through skin.

Magnus felt it go in, but didn't react. He just wanted to feel Alec's skin on his. 

"Magnus, will you look at me?" Alec asked. Magnus hesitated, but brought his tear stained face up to look at Alec. "None of that is your fault, okay? I need you to believe that. Please, Magnus, please believe that." 

Magnus sniffled, his tears calming down and his heart slowing. He swallowed, blinked, and looked at Alec. "Okay," he whispered, but he wasn't convinced. 

"Magnus, kiss me," Alec blurted out.

Magnus frowned. "What?"

But Alec was already on him, lips colliding with his own. They were soft, and delicate, but at the same time, the kiss was messy and desperate. Magnus melted into it immediately. He could feel Alec's tongue gliding across Magnus' teeth, as if asking for entry. Magnus allowed him inside, and soon their tongues were playing with each other, and Magnus couldn't breathe.

Magnus couldn't feel the pain from his leg anymore, he couldn't feel the wound on his thigh. He couldn't feel a broken bone, or a needle continuously pinching his skin as it sewed him back together. All he could feel was his heart beating and his chest becoming lighter and Alec.

Alec, kissing him, and loving him, even after he just admitted to killing his step-father. Even after discovering that he had been lying to him ever since the day they met. 

Alec, loving him unconditionally. 

And Magnus loved him back. That's what this feeling was.

This lightness in his chest after years of feeling so heavy.

This was love. This was Alexander Lightwood.

And he would never let it go.


	20. In Which He Changes Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm putting the summaries for the sequel here and the summary for the darker story here too.
> 
> Summary for Sequel to Deception of the Elements (cause I don't have a name yet): 
> 
> With Robert too lost in himself to rule the kingdom, Alec is put in charge to look after Idris. But he can't do it without Magnus, his loyal servant, who he now knows to be a sorcerer, by his side. They help each other overcome obstacles that just seem to keep getting in their way. Not to mention the prejudice thrown in Magnus' face now that the court knows he has magic, and the their confusion at the news that Robert wasn't going to execute him.
> 
> Meanwhile, Eldon is cooking up his own plans of revenge on Magnus, and he knew just how to do it.
> 
> And now the summary for the darker story called Numb:
> 
> Magnus waited for Alec to come home from the mission. But when he finally did come home, Alec wasn't Alec. And Magnus thought he could figure this out; underestimated how smart and how cunning this demon inside Alexander was. He was sure that he could handle this, that he would be able to get him out of his life; to end the torment that this particular demon dumps on him.
> 
> But all Magnus knew now was how numb he was.

Magnus had fallen asleep after Ragnor stitched up the wound on his leg and reapplied bandages to the thigh. He was still on his stomach. Ragnor thought moving him again so soon would not be good for the bone. 

Alec had pulled a chair next to Magnus' cot as he slept, running fingers through his hair and caressing his cheek. Ragnor was sitting himself, on the other side of Magnus, making sure no fever came or anything abnormal happened. 

Clary and Isabelle had come earlier, which Ragnor found sweet. He really liked the pair.

He was resting his head on his hand when he felt the urge to finally speak to Alec. He didn't though, at least not immediately. 

All Ragnor could do was think. Think about the two and their relationship. Where was it going? Was it serious? Was Alec being the best he could be to Magnus? Would he just end up hurting him in the end?

Ragnor knew he couldn't let that happen. Magnus was special, and precious to him. He had become precious to him the moment he walked through that door. And he would be damned if he allowed anyone to tarnish something so precious. 

Alec was dozing off, and Ragnor contemplated whether or not to finally speak about it. He wanted to, but he didn't want Alec to think he was threatening him. He trusted Alec, and he didn't think for one second that Alec was bad for Magnus. But that didn't mean he didn't have doubts about the future. 

The future held a lot, especially right now. Eldon had gotten away, no where to be found. The queen was dead. The king was emotionally unstable, and Ragnor wasn't sure that he could handle going back into rule. Maybe he couldn't handle it. 

But could Alec?

"Alexander," Ragnor finally spoke.

Alec's head snapped up, shaking away the sleep that nearly took him in. "Yes, Ragnor?"

Ragnor took a deep breath. "You like Magnus, right?"

Alec smiled. "Yes, I do."

Ragnor nodded, looking at Magnus. He looked peaceful, and Ragnor was glad he managed to make the numbing spell work. He took a deep breath before looking back at Alec. "Do you plan to make this thing between you two official?"

Alec's lips parted slightly. He blinked. "You mean... come out and declare my true sexuality?"

Ragnor didn't reply, just continued to stare at him. It was so quiet, and Ragnor found it ironic how just hours ago it was chaotic with battle. 

Alec looked down at Magnus. "I've never wanted to come out before. I've never wanted to tell anyone, other than my siblings. I know a kingdom is supposed to know their future king, but... I was never interested in telling them."

Ragnor frowned. "But?"

Alec was silent for a moment. "But that was before I met Magnus."

Ragnor nodded again, and looked back down at his aid. "He manages to have an affect on people." 

Alec looked at Ragnor. "What do you mean?"

Then Ragnor looked back up too. "He manages to change people in the most wonderful of ways," Ragnor's voice was soft, and gentle, quiet enough to make sure not to wake Magnus. "I only speak from personal experience."

Alec really looked at Ragnor, and saw something different. Ragnor was always so... jolly and smiling. Now... he was neutral. But it wasn't a bad thing. It's like this was the real Ragnor. The one behind the fake smiles and the fraud laughs. 

Ragnor spoke again. "When Robert killed Catarina, I wasn't in a good place. But along the way I learned to live again, even if my happiness wasn't genuine." He paused, still looking at Magnus. "Magnus made it genuine. He made me want it to be genuine. I never wanted to be happy after she died. I didn't think I deserved it, because I just... let her die."

"Ragnor-" Alec tried, really shaken up at this other side of Ragnor that he'd never seen before. And he'd known Ragnor since he was a child. 

"All I mean is..." Ragnor interrupted. "Is that, I know what it's like to have Magnus change you."

Alec looked back down at him, on the cot, looking peaceful. "I guess you do."

It was silent between the two, all that could be heard was their breathing. Something was passing between the two that neither had experienced before. Such an understanding of one another that they both just wanted to make all the misunderstandings go away. Expect, now, they didn't feel like there were that many anymore. 

Alec spoke. "I won't hurt him," he said.

Ragnor looked at Alec then, but almost as if looking through him. "I really hope you don't, Alexander Lightwood."

Alec frowned. "Is that a threat?" He asked, but it wasn't filled with accusation or anger. It was just nonchalant. 

Ragnor smiled sweetly. "Of course not, my boy. I would never hurt you. I only mean, I hope for his sake that you don't."

Alec nodded. "I see," he said. "I love him, Ragnor."

Ragnor just stared. "I believe you."

"Then believe me when I say I won't hurt him."

Silence between the two again. 

Ragnor thought about it hard, and he'd been thinking about it since the day he found out Magnus had a liking towards the Prince. When it was just cute flirtations in the hallways. When it was nothing but a look. But now... it has transformed to something that had meaning, that had hope, and future. 

Ragnor could only hope that that future held happiness, and trust, even when they knew the future held oppositions. 

Ragnor nodded, looking at Alec. "I believe you, Alec." 

Alec smiled then, looking at Magnus. He gently ran his thumb on his cheek, and Magnus made a small purring sound when he did it. Alec smiled wider. "I love you, Magnus Bane."

Ragnor watched the exchange. And he trusted it. 

Ragnor didn't trust easily. So he sincerely hoped that this wasn't for naught. 

"Are you going to?" Ragnor asked.

Alec looked up, confused. "Going to what?"

"Come out?" 

Silence.

Alec truly didn't know. He wanted to, but with his father the way he is... he just... 

"I want to, Ragnor, but..."

"But?"

"My father isn't... he's different now. This whole ordeal changed him. He doesn't know who to trust or what to believe and his wife is-" he cut himself off, feeling his heart weigh what felt like a million pounds. "Dead..."

Ragnor leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm sorry, Alec. Truly, I am."

Alec suddenly looked very conflicted, as if realizing something he didn't know before. "She never knew..." 

Ragnor looked sympathetic.

"She never knew, and she never will," Alec repeated. 

Ragnor reached over Magnus to put a hand on Alec's, who looked up at Ragnor at the contact. "I'm so sorry, Alexander. I am so, so sorry." Ragnor could tell Alec wanted to cry. He could see the thoughts running through his head at a million miles an hour. "Alec," he said. "I just want you to know, that whenever you do it, however, or wherever, make sure it's because you're ready. Not because you feel obligated to."

Alec breathed deeply as he slid his gaze down to Magnus. "I will, one day. Just... I don't know if right now is the right time." His was voice was trembling ever so slightly.

Ragnor leaned back against his chair, hands going away from Alec's. "That's alright, Alexander."

Alec hesitated, but nodded. "I just love him so much, and I need it to be perfect. Not just for me, but for both of us."

Ragnor nodded. "I understand."

Alec licked his lips. "Do you know when he'll wake up?" He asked.

Ragnor didn't find the shift of conversation confusing. "I honestly have no idea," he replied. "He's exhausted. He could be out all night and all day tomorrow."

Alec looked sad at the news. "I hate that he had to go through this. He shouldn't have to. Him, of all people, should get nothing but greatness."

Ragnor couldn't help but agree. "Yes," he said. "But... like he says," he paused, smiling a little at the words echoing in his head. "You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all."

Alec smiled softly. "I suppose that is true."

"It is true."

"But what if you're not strong enough to endure?" Alec asked, and Ragnor knew he was referring to Magnus' mother.

Ragnor sighed deeply. "That is different. Viessa was..." he couldn't find his words. "She was just very different. She struggled with depression for years, and that man was the worst thing that could have possibly happened to her. Magnus did everything he could for her, but... in the end... she just couldn't take it."

Alec nodded. "Sometimes not being able to endure is okay." 

Ragnor frowned, wanting a more in depth description. "What do you mean?"

Alec shrugged. "People always think that if you can't handle something, it's because you're weak. But I don't believe that to be true. Some people have higher tolerance, and not everyone can control their tolerance level. Magnus' is high, because I don't think I could handle what he has been through. But his mother's tolerance must not have been high. And there's nothing wrong with that. She's in a better place, a beautiful place where she can be as happy as she wants. Isn't that what matters?" 

Ragnor's mouth was open in shock. He went to reply, but didn't really know how. Because he was right. "Alec Lightwood, you keep managing to surprise people."

Alec smiled shyly. "I just try to see the best in things."

Ragnor tilted his head. "And what do you think about Magnus' magic?"

"I think it's beautiful," Alec didn't hesitate.

Ragnor smiled, and knew that Alec wouldn't ever hurt him then and there. Ragnor took a deep breath, and stood from his chair. "I'm going to catch some sleep. I am sorry we don't have another cot, but you can use mine?"

Alec waved his hand dismissively. "No, please, sleep on your bed, Ragnor. I'm fine right here." He looked at Magnus and smiled gently.

Ragnor couldn't help but smile too. He pat Alec on the shoulder. "Alright, my boy. Get some rest too."

Alec nodded, and Ragnor left to get some sleep. Tomorrow might be rough.

...

Alec woke to the sound of shuffling and small pained noises, and his eyes fluttered open to see Magnus trying to move on to his back. "Magnus," he said, sitting up in his chair and attempting to help him. "What are you doing?"

Magnus closed his eyes when he made the last move to finally adjust to his back. He sighed an exhalation of relief. "Sorry," he breathed out. "I was really uncomfortable."

Alec took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. "You're okay," he said. "You just scared me."

Magnus looked up at him, a little guilty. "Sorry," he said. 

Alec put a hand on his cheek, smiling softly. "It's okay, Magnus." Magnus smiled back, but his eyes showed clear pain from his leg. "Are you okay?" 

Magnus nodded tightly. "I think so..."

"What can I do?" Alec asked, wanting to help Magnus in some way.

"I don't know, it just hurts..." Magnus clenched his fists in the sheets.

"I can go get Ragnor," Alec suggested.

Magnus shook his head. "No, it's okay."

"Are you sure?"

Magnus gasped as he nodded. "Yes," he said. "It's early morning, let him sleep."

Alec looked at the window to see the sun was barely coming out, and he could hear the chirping of birds. It's was still a little dark in the room, but the remnants of sunlight were peaking through. 

"Alexander," Magnus said, and Alec looked back at him. "How are you?"

Alec blinked, confused. "Me?"

Magnus swallowed, then bit his lip. "You've suffered in all of this too." Alec felt his heart clench. He looked away, not really sure what to say. He felt Magnus' hand reach up into his. Alec glanced at the hand, then at Magnus. "It's okay, Alec."

Alec's lips formed in tight line. He nodded, feeling tears well in his eyes, and he didn't let them fall. "I'm just... I haven't really had a chance to... really..."

Magnus nodded. "I know," he said. "I'm so sorry, Alexander. I'm sorry about your mother."

Alec's heart hurt a little more. He took a deep breath to control his emotions. "I know... it's just..."

"I know," Magnus ended and silence passed between them. 

Alec felt a little like he had earlier with Ragnor. A mutual understanding. They have both lost their mothers. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and it opened, and Jace entered. Magnus felt uncomfortable in the man's presence. They hadn't really communicated with each other at all since he'd gotten here, and they definitely hadn't talked about Alec. 

Jace advanced forward, looking just as uncomfortable. He licked his lips and looked at Magnus. "How are you doing?"

Magnus swallowed, looking nervous. "I could be better..." 

"Jace," Alec said, seeing the clear awkwardness and trying to end it like the Angel he was. 

Jace looked at Alec. "Alec, hey," he said. "Um, the court wanted to speak to you."

Alec frowned. "About what?"

Jace bit his lip. He looked at Magnus awkwardly again, and Magnus knew what his next words would be. "About Magnus being a Warlock..."

Magnus looked away, ashamed, and Alec hated that. He shouldn't be ashamed of who he was. But Alec also knew that wasn't it. "What else, Jace?"

Jace swallowed. "And about putting you in charge of the kingdom."

Alec gasped. No... he wasn't ready for that. He couldn't do that. He wasn't ready. He looked down at Magnus, who looked just as shocked. 

Magnus could see the fear in his Alexander's eyes. "Alexander," he said. "It's okay, go talk to them. I'll be fine."

Alec leaned down and kissed Magnus full on the lips. It was another messy and desperate one, and Magnus melted again. Magnus reached for more when Alec pulled back. "I'll be right back," Alec breathed. 

Magnus nodded, dazed, watching Alec leave with Jace.


	21. This Is Just the Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue coming next. Literally right away. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the last chapter. The epilogue will be Eldon.

Alec and Jace paced the corridors to the throne room, which was still in a slightly disheveled condition, their hearts pounding. Alec didn't feel comfortable becoming king yet. Well, maybe he wouldn't become king, but he certainly didn't feel ready for that leadership. He was just the prince. If there was anyone who should be doing this, it was Jace. Or even Isabelle. Isabelle could kick ass ruling this kingdom, Alec wasn't ready for this.

Alec and Jace had never had conflict knowing that one was getting the throne over the other. It was tradition for the older sibling to get the throne, no matter how much Alec wished it were Jace. Jace had never been bitter either. In fact, Jace had always been there to erase Alec's own insecurities at the knowledge that he would be king.

Besides, Robert and Maryse never really considered Jace to be king. He's an adoptive brother, so he didn't technically have rights to the throne. But they never degraded him for his talents. They never made him feel small. They loved him and welcomed him into the family. 

And Alec had loved him the moment he laid eyes on him. Not like that, or at least, not anymore. Although, he's starting to suspect he never did.

Alec had gone through a phase in which he had a major attraction towards his adoptive brother. He was a conflicted young boy who was struggling with his sexuality. And Jace had been the only male Alec could associate that with. 

But... now that he's with Magnus and he is aware of what love is... he's starting to think maybe there was never any love to that level for Jace. He loved him dearly, but like a brother.

Magnus was who Alec loved. He loved him heart and soul. And he was sure Magnus loved him back. He knew Magnus loved him back.

They rounded the corner to the throne room, Jace knocking before entering with Alec at his side. The council turned their heads to the entrance upon their arrival. 

One of them, who Alec recognized as Lydia Branwell, stood and shook Alec's hand as he stepped towards the council table. Alec smiled nervously as he took a seat next to Jace.

Lydia spoke then. "My lord," she said sweetly. "We have an issue that we would like to discuss with you."

Alec sighed. "I know," he said. "But, if I may, I would like to speak first."

Lydia nodded. "Of course."

Alec looked around at the expectant faces, unsure of what exactly they were expecting. He took a slow, deep breath in, and let it out just as slowly. "Okay, listen," he started. "The queen is... the queen is dead," his voice cracked, and the council suddenly looked uncomfortable and sympathetic. "Our kingdom is now without a queen to rule by the king's side." 

Lydia looked to intervene, knowing well where this was going. But Alec held his hand up to stop her. She closed her eyes, and nodded. He spoke again.

"The kingdom, however, is not without a king. My father was not killed in this catastrophe." He breathed again. "We, as a loyal council, can not expect him to be healed about his wife's death overnight. We, as a loyal council, must trust our king. And we, as loyal citizens of the kingdom, must be able to put someone in ruling who is ready."

Lydia was nodding as he spoke, listening intently on what he had to say. "But, Alec, you are ready."

Alec shook his head. "I am not," he said. "And it does not bring me any shame to say that. My father is still a good king. He may be emotionally hurting at the moment, but he can still rule this kingdom with confidence; as well as my confidence is high that he can do it. He will need the people's confidence as well in this dark time.

"Eldon is still out there, planning to plot against us. We have lost many of our men to his, and even though Valentine and Sebastian are dead, I am sure Eldon still has a few tricks up his sleeve. My father will need us to be ready."

Jace was looking at Alec proudly. Alec had always struggled with talking to the council, for he always thought they were intimidating. Jace wasn't intimidated one bit. He knew he could take nearly every single on of them out with one blow. "My brother is right in his allegation." 

Lydia took a deep breath and looked as if she was in deep thought. She chewed her lip. Alec was clenching his fists so tight that his knuckles were turning white. And not because of anger or frustration. But because he was terrified. Terrified that they would put him in ruling when he wasn't ready. He didn't know squat about being a good king. The people didn't even know his true self, and neither did the council. 

Lydia finally spoke after a long moment of silence. "I understand, lord Lightwood, that you are frightened of kingship. You have not truly had a chance to prepare, and you most certainly didn't wake up this morning expecting this meeting," she paused to take another breath. "But we still feel it would be better if your father had a break. He will still be making most of the decisions, but you will be following them out. You do not have to worry about instances where we will be at war."

Alec shook his head, feeling his heart beat. "But we are at war. Eldon is planning to fight against us because of this whole thing. He wants Magnus-" he stopped, because maybe that was a mistake to bring that up. 

It appeared it was too late.

The entire council tensed at his name. Lydia looked guilty as she spoke. "He is our next topic of issue..."

Alec felt his heart beat faster. He needed to remember that they didn't know about their relationship. He had to choose his words carefully. "I..." he felt Jace tense next to him too. "I understand he broke the law. But, also try to understand that if he didn't, our kingdom would probably still be under the rule of Valentine. We would be prisoners of someone who kills his kind for pleasure. But he managed to destroy the very thing that we have been struggling to do for years."

"That's our concern, Alec," Lydia said. 

Alec furrowed his brow, confused. "I don't understand." 

Lydia sighed, but not annoyed. "Your servant-"

"His name is Magnus," Alec forced through his teeth. He felt Jace put a hand on his thigh under the table and suddenly felt better. 

Lydia didn't look offended. In fact, she looked ashamed. "Magnus," she started again. "Is clearly powerful. He is obviously different than most Warlock's we encounter." 

Much of the council had scowls on their faces and others looked understanding. Alec feared they were going to suggest executing him. 

Another member of the court spoke this time, a member who Alec recognized as Jia Penhallow. She was petite with long, brown hair that was up in a pretty braid. "Our first order of business was to send him to death," she bit out. Alec clenched his mouth shut. He needed to keep control. "But overnight, your father made an order. A very confusing order that we have suspicions about."

Jace frowned. "And that order was?"

Lydia sighed. "The order was to keep the Warlock- I mean... I mean Magnus, alive." Alec could see she was struggling to keep from using bigotry language. Alec didn't believe her to be like her father or other members of the court. She always thought killing them was out of line too. 

Alec was shocked though, at the news. His father had never, in his time being king for nearly five decades now, made an exception for a magic wielding being. 

So why make one for Magnus?

Jace looked just at confused.

"What do you mean when you say you have suspicions?" Alec asked.

Jia made a disgusted face. "Why would your father do that? He never has. So why?"

Alec laughed, but it was a nervous one; without humor. "I'm just as lost as you."

Jace shrugged next to him when the council gave him expectant looks.

Jia sneered. "Couldn't it be due to an enchantment?" 

That time Alec laughed, full of humor. "Are you serious? Magnus is my servant, I have spent months with him, and he has been nothing but loyal to me. If he meant harm to the kingdom, why wait that long?" 

Jia made to reply, but found she didn't have anything to say back.

Lydia sighed again. "I believe Alec is right. If he had any bad intentions for the kingdom, then he would be working with Eldon, not running from him."

Jia spoke through clenched teeth. "He's the reason Eldon is waging war against us in the first place."

Jace intervened then. "Then that's why we will do what we can to protect him."

"I will not protect a sorcerer," Jia growled.

"You know what," Alec began. "I don't quiet appreciate the way you speak about my servant. He's a very loyal man, and he has a much better heart than you do. I respectfully disagree with your stance on all Warlock's but I can't change your mind. But I can order you to watch your tongue, or you might just lose it." 

The council opened their mouths in shock. Alec had never gone against the court like he just did. Jia was wide eyed, and surprised. 

Alec wasn't done. "What my father orders, goes. And what I order, goes. And I stand by my father's request." 

Jace was smiling. He'd known how shy Alec had been when it came to the court, so he was happy to see him finally standing up for himself. 

Jia was seething, but nodded anyways. "Yes, my lord."

"The biggest problem here is my father," Alec said, bringing the topic back to what it needed to be. "Give him time."

Lydia nodded. "We are, Alec, I think you're misunderstanding."

Alec didn't find that offensive, like most royalty would. "Then, please, enlighten me."

"We want to put you in charge while he gets that time he needs, my lord. Please..." Lydia's voice cracked slightly, and Alec was surprised. "We are at war without a queen and a broken-hearted king. We need you."

Alec felt his eyes water. He still hadn't had a chance to break down about all of this. "Do you think I'm not broken hearted too?" The council was quiet. Alec took a deep breath, and decided. He swallowed. "I will do what you're asking, because that is my job. I am your leader, and I must make sure you get what is best for you. But please, do not think for one second that I will make this easy. Because I'm not okay either."

It stayed silent, and Alec stood up, Jace following him. Alec took another deep breath. "Council dismissed."

And they left.

...

Ragnor had woken and cooked breakfast for Magnus. It had been simple, and easy. Just some toast. Not too much after a very long two days and not too little for, again, a very long two days. 

Magnus had help from Ragnor to get propped up and elevate his leg. It wasn't a fun process, in fact, it was painful. 

Now, his leg was throbbing all over, as if his nerves were pulsing with pain. He could tell Ragnor's numbing spell was wearing off, and he wanted nothing more to make the pain go away. He closed his eyes against it, and leaned back. His breath was a little uneven, but other than that, he was okay. 

It was just the pain. It was like fire throughout his whole leg. He hadn't gotten any form of infection in either of the wounds due to Ragnor's quick healing, so that was a plus. But he often found himself sweating from concentration to block the pain. He didn't quiet have an explanation for that.

Ragnor said it was because his magic was trying to heal the source of the pain, but his magic was still young even though it managed to destroy the Morgenterns. His magic didn't know what it was doing. 

He wished Alec were here again. He hoped everything was okay with him.

But, of course it wasn't. He lost his mother, his father was completely different now, and so was the entire kingdom. 

Magnus said he would wait for him, but he found himself dozing off, and before he knew it, he was dreaming of blood and pain and cracking of bones, and screaming and more blood and more screaming. 

Luckily, like the angel he was, Alec woke him up, looking at him concerned. Magnus was gasping, looking around confused, because wasn't he just getting tortured by Sebastian? 

But no... he wasn't. He was okay. He was here, with Alec, who loved him.

"Magnus," Alec said. "Are you okay?"

Magnus' breathing now calm, he replied. "Yeah," he whispered. "I'm okay, I'm just tired." He shook the dream away.

Alec looked sympathetic. "I know you are," he sat down in the chair next to Magnus' bed and stroked his cheek. "How are you feeling, other than that?"

Magnus shrugged, but was reminded of the pain then. "It's just the pain," he said, voice a little tight. "I'm fine, it just hurts."

"Do you want me to get Ragnor?" Alec made to get up.

But Magnus grabbed his wrist before he could leave. "No, Alexander, really... I'm okay." He took a deep breath, and there was a peaceful silence between the two then. "Are you okay?" Magnus asked. Alec nodded, but didn't speak. Obviously, he was lying. "Alexander, it's okay to not be okay." 

Alec nodded. "I know... I'm just... I am so tired."

Magnus licked his lips. He felt nervous. "What did the council say?" 

Really, he was thinking 'please don't kill me'. 

Alec sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Quiet a lot..."

Magnus nodded. "Did you agree to be put into charge?" Alec nodded yes, but looked sad about it. "But you clearly didn't want to."

Alec shook his head. "No, but... there is no other option. We are at war now, and we need a leader."

Magnus smiled a bit. "You're very capable, Alexander, you shouldn't believe you can't do it."

Alec shrugged. "It's whatever, right now. I'm too tired to process anything."

Magnus nodded in understanding. "Likewise," he chuckled.

Alec smiled his shy smile. 

But when it fell, Magnus felt his heart drop. "What?"

Alec bit his lip. "My father made an order about you..." he sounded confused.

Magnus just felt his heart pound. "And?"

Alec leaned back forward, and caressed his cheek. "He won't kill you, don't worry." Magnus let out an exhalation of relief. "But... he made a confusing order... an order than makes many of the court to believe my father is under enchantment by you."

Magnus narrowed his eyes. "What was it?"

Alec bit his lips again. "He ordered the court to keep you safe."

Magnus blinked, eyes widening. His mouth was open in shock. "What, seriously?"

Alec nodded. "Indeed," he said. "I'm not complaining, but... it is weird that he would order that after years of executions. He just killed a boy not but weeks ago."

Magnus felt his heart clench for the boy. "Yes..." 

It was silent again. Magnus couldn't help but feel afraid by that order. What did Robert have in mind for him? What was it he was planning to do with him? Did he know about their relationship? Surely not... they've done so good to keep it secret. 

"Magnus," Alec said, seeing the thoughts reeling through Magnus' head. "Don't worry, okay? I'll keep you safe, no matter what. Nothing like this," he gestured to his leg. "Will never happen to you again. I promise."

Magnus nodded, and sighed. "I love you, Alexander." 

"I love you, too." 

They both smiled.

"I mean it, though," Alec repeated. "I will keep you safe. My father cannot hurt you, the council cannot hurt you, and I will never allow Eldon to hurt you ever again."

Magnus was nodding, still smiling. 

Alec smiled wider. And he leaned down and kissed him. 

They knew, then and there, that whatever was coming at them, they would be able to handle together. They would be there for each other.

Because the Deception of the Elements did not get in their way.


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you have stuck with me through all of this!! I probably won't get the sequel started for maybe a week because today is my last free day before next Wednesday. Literally... I'm not lying. :D
> 
> I really thank you guys for being there with me through it all.
> 
> The sequel will have a darker stance on it, but not too bad. At least... until nearing the end of it, but that's not for a while. MUCH HAPPINESS AND FLUFF TO COME!!!

A FEW WEEKS LATER, AFTER ATTACK:

Eldon stood in the room, smiling, rubbing his hands together in excitement. It was dark, but glowing a faint yellow due to the enchanted walls to make sure the room did its job. It smelled of flesh, because he had tested it so he could be positive it would work. 

And it did.

In the middle stood a stone slab, chains at the corners to keep a man restrained. And it did keep a man restrained.

And he couldn't wait to get that damned Warlock inside of it. 

He couldn't wait to get that disgusting sorcerer in here and show him what pain is. He couldn't wait to watch his blood spill and stain his hands. He couldn't wait to hear the screams and see the fear run through his eyes.

He couldn't hold back his excitement. 

Magnus Bane deserved this. He has taken every last shred of hope he had left. 

And this room would do the same.

He had hired a Warlock to do something for him: to enchant this room. The spell was an old torture method to get someone to talk. And it would certainly do that, expect Eldon didn't need any information.

He needed to hear Magnus scream.

The room was made to allow anyone to endure any type of wound, cut, poison, or any form of torture, without dying. 

And... the best part...

Without losing consciousness.

And he would make sure Magnus would he awake for all of it.

Eldon's laughing could be heard through the night as his excitement continued to build.

Yes...

Magnus would soon know his pain.


End file.
